


Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

by DeepLittleSOB



Series: Lizzy-verse [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coping, F/M, Honeymoon, Hunters & Hunting, Kidnapping, Loss, Marriage Proposal, Miscarriage, Sex, Soulmates, Torture, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 14:08:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 71,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3572483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepLittleSOB/pseuds/DeepLittleSOB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Dean and Sam are trying desperately to figure out what's wrong with Lizzy, they find a case out in Los Angeles.  Infants and elderly people are disappearing at an alarming rate.  They need to figure out what is taking them and why.</p><p>And Dean just has to find out what it is Lizzy is keeping from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trial Separations

**Author's Note:**

> My ninth story in my series. There are some triggers here so check the tags please before reading if you are concerned. 
> 
> The first few chapters will be my take on the episodes denoted at the beginning.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own or have the rights to anything of the Supernatural universe. I am just playing in their sandbox.

**_This is my take on 'The End'._ **

* * *

When he fell asleep, Sam's mind was flying through the events of the very strange, very awful day. So much to process and so much to figure out. It's daunting to say the least.

Hunters know now. There are hunters out there that are aware of what he's done. A fucking demon spilled the beans to Tim and Reggie. They were so pissed they felt the need to attack him at the bar and attempt to shove demon blood down his throat. Now he has to wonder how long it'll be before the news spreads wide through the hunter's grapevine. Soon enough, they'll all know he's responsible for letting out Lucifer. They'll all know that he downed blood for a near year and that he has hidden psychic powers to rival even the baddest of hell's minions. They're going to want to hunt him now. Sam Winchester is on the baddie hit list. He's the monster. Dean was right. He was absolutely right all along.

Dean. He hasn't talked to him in nearly a month. He missed his brother. He missed Lizzy too, even though she calls him once a week briefly to ensure that he's doing ok enough. He should call Dean with this new development. He should really give him the heads up that hunters know about him before Dean hears about it himself. He'll lose his shit if that doesn't come from his own brother.

An hour of letting his mind plug away at his new set of worries, worries he'd only hoped where behind him now, he finally drifted off into some form of lucid sleep. Damn, he's just so tired.

And right then he hears her voice coming from somewhere near but sounding somewhat far away at the same time, and it pulls him right back out of his restful status.

"Sam. Hey, Sam."

He wakes up again to her calling to him, the second time in a month, and he looks toward it. He sees her laying on her side, her back to him, and sighs in relief. After the day he's had, it's so good to see her. Maybe if she was still actually alive that's what life would be. Long days followed by coming home to someone he loved who made it better just with the sight of her. He leans forward and kisses her on the neck in greeting. She rolls over with the feeling and looks up at him as she lies back on the pillow.

"So this is your life now?" she wonders up to him, her blue eyes soft and mouth set in a slight smile. "Think you can just live forever with your head buried in the sand?"

"I love you, Lou," is all Sam can respond with as he gazes at her, missing her with an almost brand new kind of ache.

"I know you do," she confirms for him.

Sitting up in bed, Sam moves to the edge with his back to her, needing a minute to collect himself before he falls apart in front of her. Lou sits up also with concern on her face.

"God knows how much I miss you too," Sam finally continues. "But you're wrong. People can change. There is reason for hope and you used to have that."

"I don't believe in having hope anymore, Giant. How could I?" Lou says quietly, a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I had hope for Lizzy and I getting out of the life. I had hope that there was something good to be had between you and I. I had hope that I wouldn't die in my twenties for a cause I truly believed in. Hope is… well, it's hopeless, Sam."

"I don't think your right," Sam quickly returns, sticking to his guns as best he can while Lou opposes all he's clinging to. "Hope exists. It has to."

"I'm so sorry Sam, but it doesn't," Lou answers, her form morphing into that of Nick, Lucifer's current meatsuit.

"How can you say that?" Sam wonders while hurt by her words. "You used to have more hope than anyone I knew, even Lizzy. How can you be so sure?"

"Because you freed me," Lucifer answers in Nick voice.

Sam's blood turns to ice when he hears the foreign voice. It doesn't matter that he's never heard it before, he knows for certain who is behind it. Shrugging out of the hand on his shoulder Sam stands, takes a couple swift steps and turns around, coming face to face with the epitome of evil that he himself unleashed on the Earth.

"That's right, Sam. You know who I am."

* * *

Passed the fuck out. That's exactly what Dean would call it, if he wasn't passed the fuck out at the moment. The second he and Lizzy finished up with that last job a couple hours away, they found this place, complete with preaching Jehovah's Witness out front ironically, and crashed… hard. Dean, with half his body off the edge of the mattress, and Lizzy, her hand resting across Dean's cheek as she's face down on the pillow next to him, barely hear when his phone starts vibrating on the nightstand. Lizzy is the first to stir.

"Phone," she quietly says muffled through the pillow. Dean doesn't make a move to answer it so she gives him a few very light taps using the hand she has resting on the side of his cheek. "Dean, phone."

The sound of complaint comes from deep in his throat as he blindly reaches out towards the ringing cell. Once he has it in his grip, he swats away Lizzy's hand in order to put the phone to his ear.

"Damn it, Cas, we need to sleep!" It feels like he just finished his call with the angel once he'd bargain a few hours of sleep out of him. That wasn't enough time, not nearly. They've been going for days almost on end. They've been so busy and tired that he and Lizzy haven't even thought about sex for four days, a new record for them.

"Dean… it's me."

Dean's eyes actually open with surprise when he hears that voice on the other end and he looks at the clock on the night stand.

"Sam?" Dean asks, though he knows it's his brother already. Lizzy moves immediately with the sound of Sam's name and she peers at Dean as he talks. "It's quarter past four."

"This is important."

"Shit. Yeah… uh, alright," Dean says as he sits up and tries to wake himself up enough to have a serious conversation with his brother.

"What's wrong?" Lizzy asks, sitting up in bed next to him. Both are fully clothed and never even made it under the covers before crashing. "Is he ok?"

"Don't know, L. Give me a minute."

"Put it on speaker," Lizzy tells him as she scoots up behind him and brings her legs and arms around his torso, her head resting on the back of his shoulder with the exhaustion of the past few weeks.

"Working on it," Dean returns.

"Dean, it's fine. Lizzy needs to hear this." Sam, driving down the road in a stolen car as he does whatever he can to get the hell out of the town that brought him nothing but bad experiences and over exposure, knows Lizzy will be highly involved in what he's just found out. Plus, he learned a while ago that keeping secrets from her was never good for anyone in the long run.

"If that's what you want, man." Dean pulls the phone away from his ear and drops it onto his knee after pressing the speaker button. "You're live."

"I, um, shit," Sam stutters through. He went over it in his head how he would tell Dean about Lucifer, but now that he's actually talking to him it's even harder than he'd thought it'd be.

"Sam-I-Am, relax," Lizzy says soothingly to him, her eyes closed as she listens. "Just say it."

"I know who Lucifer's vessel is. It's me." Sam sighs out a breath. After a time of silence, Lizzy finally breaks it.

"What?" she wonders with quiet alarm, picking her head up from Dean's shoulder. "Lucifer's after your meat?" Dean can feel her body tense behind him with her new found worry. It's then that he realizes he himself isn't panicked, not at all. In fact, he's taking it incredibly well.

"Yeah," Sam answers, hating the new layer of stress he's adding to her life. He always felt guilty for giving her more reason to worry.

"So, you're his vessel, huh?" Dean responds with a light tone as he untangles himself from Lizzy to get up and grab a couple beers from the mini refrigerator. "Lucifer's wearing you to the prom?"

"That's what he said."

"How did you talk to him?" Lizzy wonders as Dean sits into the upholstered chair with the two bottles in one hand and the phone in his other. "Did he find you?" She walks over to Dean, grabs one of the bottles from him, and drops into his lap. He brings his arm around her and pulls her in, letting her lean her weight into him. She's beyond tired at this point, especially after fighting off the vampire they came across last night that went after him. She fucked him up real good once it set its sights on Dean but she hasn't rested at all since it happened.

"Kinda," Sam answers. "He got into my dreams and told me." He avoids telling her what form the devil took. Lizzy wouldn't like that too much and why bother upsetting her any more than he has to?

"Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh, Sammy?" Lizzy twists open both bottles and Dean takes a sip of his.

"So, that's it?" Sam asks with surprise at Dean's levity. "That's your response?"

"What did you expect?" Lizzy sighs as she pulls down some beer. She understands Dean's lack of shock. She isn't all that shocked either once she really thinks about it.

"I don't know. A… a little panic? Maybe?" Sam says back while driving aimlessly. He realizes now he doesn't know where Dean and Lizzy are right now and he's just been driving to get away from that last town. He had no destination.

"I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point," Dean quips, drinking down more beer as he rests his head against the top of Lizzy's.

"What are we gonna do about it?"

"What do you want to do about it?"

"I want back in, for starters," Sam admits. This changes everything. It cements just how screwed he is. He's in it to win it now, and sadly Lucifer was exactly right about that. He can't run from his life. This  _is_  his life.

"Sam…" Dean starts before getting cut off.

"I mean it," the younger brother tries again. "I am sick of being a puppet to these sons of bitches. I'm gonna hunt him down, Dean."

"Oh Sam, this sounds like revenge to me," Lizzy sadly comments when she hears that familiar tone in Sam's voice, the tone he had for over a year while hunting down Lilith.

"Yeah, 'cause being driven by vengeful anger worked out so well last time," Dean sarcastically adds.

"Not revenge," Sam answers with anger. "Redemption."

"So, what? You're just gonna walk back in and we're gonna be the dynamic duo again?" Dean asks.

"Trio," Lizzy quietly adds in with a joking nudge with her elbow.

"Look, Dean, I can do this. I can," Sam promises. "I'm gonna prove it to you."

Dean sighs heavily. He knows his brother too well and he knows he's got rage and blood on his mind only. It's the anger in Sam that's worried him for a while now. Ever since Dean got back from hell, Sam's been different. He's been filled with malice.

"Look, Sam, it doesn't matter, whatever we do. I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the fire and the oil of the Armageddon. You know, on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere. Stay away from each other for good."

Lizzy's heart shatters at the idea but she stays quiet. There are some things she needs to let them deal with and keep out. They're brothers and as much as she's a part of their family now, their bond is different and she knows she has no place interfering… every now and then.

"Dean, it does not have to be like this. We can fight it."

"Yeah, you're right. We can," Dean answers right back, knowing it's true. They would always fight, just like dad taught them. They won't ever give up. "But not together. We're not stronger when we're together, Sam. I think we're weaker. Because whatever we have between us, love, family, whatever it is, they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. We're better off apart. We got a better chance of dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing, if we just go our own ways."

"Dean, don't do this," Sam pleads with panic when he hears his brother shutting him out.

"Bye, Sam," Dean says while hanging up.

"You didn't let me say goodbye," Lizzy sadly observes once the call is ended.

"He'll probably call you in the morning to try and get you to change my mind anyways." Dean chugs down the rest of his beer. Shit, he may have played it cool on the phone, but the realization is starting to hit. Sam's going to house Lucifer and he's going to give Michael a ride… they're supposed to be biblically pit against each other. Fuck.

"He will definitely call me," Lizzy assures as she cuddles into him a little more. "But I'll just tell him I agree with you."

"You do?" Dean asks down to her, shocked to hear her say that. She hates that Sam was gone every day so this was unexpected.

"Yeah," she answers through a yawn. "If you're a Coke and he's a pack of Mentos… best to keep you apart I'd say."

"Not what I expected from you," Dean observes.

"I'm full of surprises." Lizzy yawns once more and closes her eyes, her head resting under his chin.

"Come on," Dean pats her knee. "Go back to bed. Before Cas shows up."

"Uh-uh," she refuses quietly with all intentions of keeping awake with him, supporting him. "Staying up with you."

"I'm ok, L. Go to sleep." It's then that Dean realizes she's already done so in his lap. "Jesus." He picks her up and carries her to the bed, pulling back the covers and laying her down gently so she doesn't wake. He's pretty sure a bomb could go off in the room and it wouldn't wake her right now, but he does what he can just in case anyways. He carefully pulls up the gauze square on her neck to take a peek at her vampire bite she got during her fight. It's healing nicely and thank God no vamp blood got into it. When he saw that son of a bitch sink his teeth into her, he had an instant flash back of Lou and her final moments. It clearly reminded Lizzy of Lou's turning too because as soon as the vampire's body was burned and they were driving away, she stared silently out the windshield with a faraway look for nearly a half hour. She never said one word the whole time. It still kills him every time he sees that sorrow come out of her and there is not a damn thing he can do to take that pain away. He can't bring Lou back and he can't make it hurt any less for her.

Laying down next to her, he looks at her relaxed and peaceful face. He does that sometimes, knowing how creepy it probably was… and how chick flick-ish it would be if there was a sappy, lame song playing right now. Whatever. Life is a fucking joke and he can't find a single reason why he shouldn't allow himself to enjoy seeing her like this. The lines of pain in her forehead are gone, her mouth isn't turned down in a scowl or frown, and she can't think of anything that makes her sad or depressed. This was when she looked her most perfect.

He falls asleep with the sight of her, giving in to his equal exhaustion. He'll deal with Sam for real tomorrow.

* * *

 


	2. There and Back Again

_**This is my take on 'The End'.** _

* * *

Waking up in a world that's been destroyed by a demonic virus is one thing. Finding out that there's another version of himself in the future, a version that is quite frankly a bit of an ass that cuffed him in his cabin out of sheer distrust, is another. Dean's been able to handle all that's been thrown at him through this whole 'Back to the Future with Zombies' shit Zachariah tossed him into. But this, a drugged out, wavy gravy version of his closest friend and usually unrelentingly stiff ally… this might just put everything over the edge for him. Now he has  _nothing_  familiar to grasp onto.

"What are you, a hippie?" Dean asks with disgust as he looks at the future version of the angel he knows so well. No suit, no blue tie, no trench coat. Just a scruffy beard and a smile on his lips. It's just wrong.

"I thought you'd gotten over trying to label me," Castiel says with levity as he stretches out his limbs. Got to get limber for the coming orgy after all.

"Cas, we got to talk." As much as Dean's unsure of what to think of new Castiel and really wants to contemplate it for a second, he more importantly needs to figure this whole thing out. The angel turns around and looks at Dean with a funny face, his eyes going wide and almost rolling.

"Whoa. Strange."

"What?"

"You...are not you," Castiel says with confidence. "Not now you, anyway." He may have lost his ties to heaven and become human for all intents and purposes, but he still has some of his senses. This is not the Dean he knows of 2014.

"No! Yeah. Yes, exactly." Dean clearly wasn't sure how to respond to that observation.

"What year are you from?"

"2009."

"Who did this to you? Is it Zachariah?" Castiel already knows it had to have been.

"Yes."

"Interesting."

"Oh, yeah, it's friggin' fascinating," Dean complains. "Now, why don't you strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calendar?" And back to Lizzy. If Zach pulled him out of there that means she's alone in that motel room, and he certainly doesn't want that dick anywhere near her.

"I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but I'm sorry, no dice."

"What, are you stoned?" Dean asks, clearly getting an 'I'm a little fucked up' vibe from Castiel.

"Uh, generally, yeah."

"What happened to you?"

"Life."

"Well, whatever you smoked, Slater, you need to help me get back to my own time."

"No can do, friendo. I'm a little low on the mojo, as you used to call it."

"Fucking great." Dean looks out the window with his hopelessness, catching a glimpse of the woman who just tried to beat his ass passing by. "Hey, what's up with that Risa chick? She always that angry?"

"She is when she finds out you've been slutting around again," Castiel laughs a little to himself. "You should really try to be a little more discrete with your free time if you're going to juggle the women around here."

Dean makes a hurt face once he thinks about it. Jane, Risa… he's been cheating on Lizzy? That doesn't sound right. Is that what he becomes in the future? God, he'd never do that to her. If they stayed as 'busy' as they were in 2009 then he certainly didn't need to find any other women. Why would he suddenly change like that?

"Damn it. Hope I don't run into Lizzy. She'll kick my ass for this… even if I haven't slept around on her yet, ha."

Castiel sends him a strange look, one of pity and sudden sadness.

"She won't kick your ass for that, Dean."

"Yes she will! You know her, Cas!"

"I do, but I promise she won't hurt you."

"And why is that? She become some super open chick with zero jealousy issues? Doubt it."

"Elizabeth's dead."

Snapping his head around to look at his friend, Dean stops breathing for a second.

"She died over a year ago," Castiel adds, knowing what his words are doing to his friend. He remembers the day she died and the following year since very well. He barely recognized Dean, the man that he's known for so long and that Lizzy had left behind. It nearly killed Dean trying to get through it and Cas is pretty sure that he never fully recovered.

"She wouldn't die," Dean denies. "She's tough, and smart. She can hack all of this crap…"

"Unless your ass is on the line, of course," Castiel says in an obvious tone. "Some things, even through trials and harsh tribulations, even through the passing of time, just don't change. Lizzy and her bond with you was one of those things."

"How?" Dean asks, needing to know as much as he didn't want to at all. "How did she…"

"One of the infected," Castiel begins to explain. "We were on a recon mission for supplies. A bunch of 'em caught on to us and we were nearly surrounded. One had snuck up on you and Lizzy saw it just before it attacked. With the threat on your life she didn't think and charged the infected, tackled it away from you, and once she was on the ground trying to fight it, two more jumped in and started in on her. You tried to help, but we pulled you away so you'd be able to get out of the city with us. She was already as good as gone."

"I just left her!? I left her there alone!?" Dean shouts with tears pooling along his bottom lids, beyond angry with himself for something he didn't even do yet.

"No, not at all," Castiel answers while recalling the moment he's tried to not think about for so long. "You went into a serious blind rage. It took me and two others to literally drag you away from it all. You were still fighting us when she stopped screaming." Castiel takes a moment to compose himself. "You even went back a few days later to gather what… what was left of…." He shakes his head with the attempt to say the awful thing aloud. "You said she deserved a proper hunter's burial."

A tear falling with the thought of this becoming his reality, this being the real future, Dean turns away from Castiel and wipes his face. He would never let that happen to her. This makes no sense. At least now he knows why future him is such an ass. It's because he lost her.

"Did I find her?" he chokes out the question.

"Yes, we both did. I went with you."

Dean turns back to look at his old friend to find the sorrow written deep into the lines around his eyes.

"Dean, I couldn't leave her there either," Castiel admits heavily. "I had my own bond with her and as much as you always thought it was your duty to protect her, it was literally my job for years. She was my charge from birth and… and I… couldn't…" He shakes his head once more and walks to a small table, taking up an already rolled joint and lighting it up. Taking a long draw, he exhales with thankfulness. Drugs were wonderful. They took away that deeply hidden pain. "There's a reason you gave away that old colt of yours to Gary. You carry her Glock with you everywhere now, the gun she had on her when we found her."

"So fucking stupid," Dean says quietly. "She shouldn't have done that."

"She saved your life and we need you around here. We'd be up shit creek otherwise and she knew that."

"Where?" Dean needs to know. "Where is she?"

"We burned her and buried her ashes behind your cabin."

Immediately he was off, running out of the small bungalow and charging towards the cabin he just freed himself from. The second he makes it around the corner of the building he sees it. There's a decent sized stone sitting by itself in a patch of grass. It has a naturally flat side facing him and the closer he gets to it he sees that something has been chiseled into it crudely. Dropping to his knees, he runs his fingers over the words 'Elizabeth Winchester' with surreal devastation.

"Shit," he whispers to himself, his eyes watering over as his hands press into the grassy earth beneath him, to the dirt covering over what's left of the woman he loves more than anything in the world. "Fuck!"

Pounding a fist into the ground, Dean feels a pain he's never once experienced in his life. He assumed he's felt everything before, becoming an expert at emotional pain management, but this… this was a whole new level, a whole new beast.

"You shouldn't have done that," Dean talks to the stone with her name on it. "You shouldn't have… damn it, L! You're smarter than this!"

The silence he gets back is deafening and it taunts him, making sure he understands how cold and lonely the future is for him. He can't live like that. He'd rather die than lose her.

"I'm not letting this happen," Dean determinedly declares to her as he gets back on his feet. "I will never let this happen to you.  _Never_. I don't care what it takes…"

* * *

"I like you Dean," Lucifer says to him with honest fondness. "I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We'll meet again soon." He turns to walk away.

"You better kill me now!" Dean shouts so angrily that his voice gets choked by the threatening tears. He watches as Lucifer turns Sam's body around to look at him once more, his hazel eyes looking so familiar yet so foreign at the very same time.

"Pardon?" Sam's voice questions.

"You better kill me now or I swear I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop." His anger is boiling. What he's taken from him, the very last of his family, is too damn much to handle.

"I know you won't."

"You took everything from me! You took my brother… you took Lizzy…"

"I never touched Elizabeth," Lucifer rebuts. "Her own protective and reactionary behavior caused her to do that to herself. And I am sorry about that loss, Dean. I don't wish that kind of pain on you, the person who made all this possible. But I  _am_  right. I know you won't kill me. I know you won't say yes to Michael, either. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up… here. I win so, I win."

"You're wrong!" Dean shouts, unable to accept this.

"See you in five years, Dean."

* * *

"The time for tricks is over," Zachariah angrily says to the hunter as they stand in the motel room Dean was taken from, Lizzy still asleep and somehow not hearing them. Angels and their abilities. He's sure she's only still out because of something Zachariah did to her. "Give yourself to Michael. Say yes and we can strike. Before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before billions die."

Looking over at Lizzy for about the millionth time since getting back here, he's so glad to see she's alive. He considers what Zachariah is asking of him. If he says yes, he fights Lucifer and in the mix he kills millions and most definitely his brother. He also will become a drooling waste of space if not dead himself but Lizzy, she'd make it out with her life and be able to live on. No, there still has to be another way. He can't bring himself to believe that there is no free will of any kind out there. He refuses to believe it's choose his brother or the love of his life and not both.

"Nah." It's a simple answer that just doesn't match up with the heaviness of what he's really saying.

"Nah?" Zachariah repeats in a disgusted voice. "You telling me you haven't learned your lesson?"

"Oh, I've learned a lesson, all right," Dean answers with his own brand of anger. "Just not the one you wanted to teach."

"Well, I'll just have to teach it again!" Zachariah shouts, his ire spilling over as he moves next to the sleeping form still in the motel bed. "Because I got you now, boy. I've got you by the skank." He places a soft hand onto Lizzy's face and she's doesn't move a muscle.

"Touch her again and you die," Dean glares at the angel with hatred.

"I'll do whatever I want to her. And I'm never letting you…"

Before he finished his sentence, Dean is gone from the hotel room and is standing in the middle of a dark road mid-night.

"That's pretty nice timing, Cas," Dean tells the friendly angel that he's never been more happy to see.

"We had an appointment," Castiel returns, Lizzy in his arms still asleep. Dean takes her from the angel, more than happy to hold her close after having a glimpse of the dreary and lonely future that doesn't include her.

"Don't ever change," Dean says with relief as he shifts her weight in his arms, Lizzy turning into him subconsciously in her slumber.

"How did Zachariah find you?" Castiel asks while looking Lizzy over. He can tell Zachariah put her into a deep sleep just by looking at her.

"Long story. Let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses from now on, okay?"

"Um, ok…" Castiel responds while he touches a hand to Lizzy's head and she breathes in deeply, her eyes fluttering open. She looks around, first at Castiel with confusion. "Hey Cassie," she greets with a very tired and groggy voice. She then looks up at Dean with even more confusion. "Why the hell are you holding me like a baby, weirdo?"

Dean doesn't answer at first, just kisses her hard on the lips. Her hand instinctively reaches up and snakes onto the side of his neck since in her sleep addled mind she isn't all back yet. She just goes with what feels right.

"What was that for?" she asks up to him, waking a little more every second once their kiss is ended.

"For risking your life for me," Dean answers, knowing it makes absolutely no sense to her. "Stand up." He lets her down and she stands tall by his side as he takes out his phone.

"What are you doing?" Castiel wonders.

"Something I should have done in the first place," he explains while scrolling to Sam's name in his contacts.

* * *

 


	3. Fears and Apologies Abound

* * *

Dean had Castiel zap Lizzy and him back to the Impala and they took off immediately. Lizzy isn't sure what happened with Dean while she was out like a light, but he's been especially attached to her ever since she woke up in his arms in the middle of a random street, never letting her hand go for more than a few seconds at a time, and he's been unusually quiet.

After another four hours of driving, they arrive in the town Dean agreed to meet Sam in. They found a motel that they figured they could catch a few hours sleep at before the sun came up and settled into the small room.

"So what happened with Zachariah?" Lizzy wonders to Dean as he finishes up brushing his teeth. She watches his body language stiffen through the bathroom doorway the second she asks. Sitting Indian-style on the large bed, brushing her hair, she tries again. "Whatever it was, it's totally affecting you."

"Don't really want to talk about it," Dean answers after spitting into the sink.

"Maybe not, but when you don't want to talk that tends to be when talking would do you the most good."

"L, it's Zach, so clearly it sucked." Dean tosses his toothbrush into his duffel at his feet and walks back into the room. "And it isn't something I want to go through the highlight reel of, not right now." Or ever, he thinks to himself

Dean drops down onto the bed next to Lizzy and pulls her in, his arms encircling her frame as she lies down against his side.

"You're really clingy today," she mentions as she cuddles into him, her head resting under his chin. "That has something to do with it, doesn't it?"

"Stop prying," Dean says as he closes his eyes, inhaling the scent of her shampoo as he does. So comforting.

"Not gonna and you know it. You might as well just spill."

Dean quiets for a moment with her words and tightens his grip on her. He then sighs and lifts her chin, kissing her softly before looking her square in the eye. "I'm never gonna let anything get you."

The statement catches her completely off guard. The sincerity in his eyes, the purity of his words… well now she's just plain scared. "Jesus, what the hell happened to you, Hot Shot?"

"I realize now how things could be. Without you," Dean tries to explain as vaguely as possible. "I know what it could be like if you weren't here. I don't ever want that."

"Dean, talk to me," Lizzy asks of him, turning over on her stomach and looking him hard in the eye. "What do you mean without me? Where the fuck did Zach bring you?"

Instead of answer, Dean leans over to kiss her. The idea of what the future is going to be if he says no to Michael, and he still thinks he'll say no, is too horrifying to explain to her. He's going to fix it though. He's going to get Sam back, and he's not going to let his brother say yes to the devil. And he's  _definitely_  not letting Lizzy die because he and Sam stopped talking to each other. That life, that pit the world becomes… there's no way he could hack it without her by his side. He's shocked his future self made it for a year all alone. Dean would have assumed he'd drink himself to death by then. Or put a bullet in his brain.

"Dean?" Lizzy whispers to him, her heavy worry still nagging her. She presses her forehead to his and she watches him close his eyes. Dean shakes his head, refusing her request once more, and instead pulls her on top of him until she's lying flush against his body. He cups her face and brings her lips to his again. After an experience like that, he needs her. He needs to not only see that she's still there with him. He needs to  _feel_  that she's right by his side, that she isn't gone, that he still has her.

Lizzy continues to be concerned as he so lovingly embraces her, something deep driving him. She, as always, can feel him from the inside out and she is getting a whole cocktail of emotions from him. He's fearful and very apprehensive, but at the same time he's desperately loving and adoring. Whatever happened to him, whatever that dick Zachariah pulled, Dean's in pieces and once again Lizzy sees that it's up to her to put him back together again. She's more than fine with that however. She'd do anything for him, even reassemble Humpty for the millionth time.

Straddling his hips, Lizzy leans down and continues kissing him. They move slow for once as this isn't about carnal need or utter lust for the other. It's about true love, what they have between them and what it is they are always scared to lose in their line of work.

His hands trailing down the sides of her face and continuing on, Dean lets his arms come to rest on her back as he hugs her into him. She really has become his everything. Sometimes he thinks back to when they first met, when there were just kids with a lot of sexual tension and severe attraction to one another. He never imagined that by the end of that long weekend together at Bobby's, one filled with drinking and actual laughing and a whole lot of sex, he'd walk away completely changed. Lizzy was sharp and so unbelievably caring right off the bat. He gravitated towards her the moment he laid eyes on her. When she left it hurt, but he lived on even if he felt a part of him went with her.

Cut to three years later and he most definitely can't live without her. She's like his air and he can't breathe when she's gone. He has his vices, sure. Sex, booze, food… but his true addiction in life is her. He needs his fair share of Lizzy just to survive.

Her fingertips brushing over his cheek, she hums her love to him as she kisses him. After years of being together and seeing him almost every minute of every day, her heart still feels like bursting when she's with him. It seems insane to her that a human being can be so entwined with another but she was living proof of it. She may have a way with words at all times, but explaining this thing she has with Dean, the feeling he gives her when she's near him, the flutter she gets when he looks at her a certain way, she could never do it. Words will never do it justice.

Dean rolls to his side without letting her go. Once he's hovering over her, Lizzy's legs wrapping around him and bringing him closer, he looks down at her and sighs.

"Whatever it is," Lizzy quietly ensures. "Whatever got to you, it's done. You're here, ok?" Lizzy captures his jaw gently in her hands. "So am I. We're both here and everything is fine."

Dean nods and leans down to rejoin their lips. She doesn't understand, he knows that, but he can't fill her in right now. It's heavy and awful and if it comes true then he's alone for good. He got lucky once and he knows he won't again. This has to last.

Taking in the warmth and feel of his skin, Lizzy slips her hands under his shirt. As her fingers absorb the sensation of every taught muscle and time-smoothed scar, she realizes how well she knows him. She has a map in the back of her mind of his entire body. She knows every perfect curve, every wonderful dip and valley. He was beautiful, his outside perfectly matching his inside... and she still considers herself lucky every damn day for having him.

She pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it away quickly before pulling him close to her, arms tightly around him. Taking a moment to hug him in, letting him be sure she's still there, she brings her lips to his ear.

"I love you," Lizzy earnestly whispers. "I don't care what happens, that will never change."

Dean drops his head in the crook of her neck and lets her words soak in.

"Hey," Lizzy softy calls to him, bringing her hands to his cheeks and lifting his face above her to make eye contact. "You know that, right?"

Dean nods, knowing full well how she feels.

"Then be grateful, not worried and scared all the time," she tells him, kissing him once quickly. "If you focus on the negative, you'll never enjoy the fact that we've got this at all."

"I'm sorry that I do that," Dean tells her, the pain of it all clear in his expression.

"Don't be sorry," Lizzy smiles warmly up to him. "Just stop doing it." Running one of her hands down his cheek and onto his neck, she pulls him down to her, kissing him sweetly on the jaw before telling him, "The only thing you have to do is love me right back."

“You know I do,” Dean closes his eyes, her lips landing just below his earlobe. 

“Yes,” Lizzy responds quietly, lips pressing softly to his cheek and then nose.  “So show me.”  She kisses his lips softly.  “Show me how much you love me.”

Show her that he loves her.  That’s exactly what he needs to do right now because only God knows (literally) that this could be their last time to prove their love to the other.  Every time could be their last time.

Gathering her up in his arms, Dean sits back pulls her into his lap until she’s thrush against him chest to chest, her knees to either side of his hips.  Kissing her frantically, like his life depended on it, his hands reach for her shirt.  It’s over her head in a flash and Lizzy grasps the sides of his face and tugs him in again.  Her tongue seeks his as he takes the bottom edge of her sports bra, the item quickly joining her shirt on the floor. 

The second her skin is melded into his, her hands fly to his pants.  That need and want they always have is back and they move quickly.  Deftly undoing the button and zipper, she yanks his clothes open and reaches inside.

“Oh God,” he whispers, the feeling of her inviting and talented hand finding him instantly making his heart jump.  It’s almost unbelievable to think he just a few hours before was experiencing life without her and now here he is, Lizzy half-naked in his lap asking him to take her.  His life is so fucked up.

His eyes closed to the sensation, Lizzy uses her free hand to pull him into her by the back of his head, needing to feel his mouth against hers again.  Dean brings his arms around her frame and lays back, his head nearly off the foot of the bed, and brings her with him.  The second she’s laying on top of him he’s reaching to the top of her jeans, popping them open and shoving them down her legs.  Lizzy lets go of him and helps, freeing herself from the last of her clothing before pulling what’s left of Dean’s wardrobe down.  Kicking his legs free, Dean reaches to her and pulls her back onto himself.  Once more straddling his hips again, Lizzy leans up and gives Dean the room he needs to position himself before she lowers back down onto him.

“Oh,” Lizzy sighs with feel of Dean deep within her.  “Dean.”  She sits still atop of him and leans over, kissing him with her overwhelming adoration of him.  “I love you,” she tells him, her lips skimming his as she does.  “Always.  I’m always with you.  No matter what happens.”

Ducking his head to avoid her eyes, eyes so full of honesty and promise that he can’t look into them, he presses his lips to her neck, making her moan softly as he presses his hips up into her.  Words were always so difficult for him even if being with her has made talking easier for him over time.  When in bed, he could talk, oh could he, but this is different.  This is emotional, not just animalistic lust.  This is the bare bones of their relationship.  This is exposure more than just being naked in front of her.  This is when talking was at its absolute hardest to do for Dean, so he doesn’t.  She knows him so well, better than he knows himself, which is exactly why she asked him to show her his love and not say it.

Lizzy’s moans fill the air of the small motel room and soon enough they were completely lost in each other.  Hands moving and grabbing, lips landing everywhere, they always had this ability to get so wrapped up in the other that the entire fucked up world could fall apart and crumble all around them and they’d never notice.  This is the only time when everything made sense to them.

Flipping Lizzy quickly onto her back, Dean kneels between her legs and leans down, not willing to let their lips part for any longer than they had to.  Working into her again, he can feel her fingers digging into his sides as they continue on, setting a pace that’s needy yet somehow still filled with utter veneration.

“Need you,” Dean whispers mid-kiss, making Lizzy a little shocked.  “Stay with me.  Never leave.”  Honesty like this is a rare occurrence for him.  She’s used to having to read him rather than hear him so this is huge, bigger than big for her to experience.

Looking up at him, her voice taxed, she tells him between sounds of total pleasure, “Oh God.  I’d never leave you.  Never.”

Closing his eyes with her words, the vow she makes that he knows she can’t keep, he tumbles over the edge.  He comes hard in her as she professes her love and total devotion to him.  It hit him fast and unexpectedly; he didn’t even feel it building.  He buries his head in her neck, almost hiding from her in the moment. 

Lizzy doesn’t understand his actions, so quiet and serious for such a moment, until she hears the quiet sob next to her ear.  Her hands still on his sides she can feel his ribs shake with sorrow and she truly panics.

“Dean?” she calls to him and he doesn’t answer.  Instead he brings his arms around her and lays on his side while pulling her to face him, his face still against her neck.  Lizzy wraps herself around him, trying to comfort him by hanging onto him as tightly as she can.  Her hand combing through his hair she can feel her heart pounding in her chest with worry.  “Shh, it’s ok, baby.  Talk to me.”

He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, just holds her harder and cries.  It’s all he can do as his mind is so overworked, so crushed and weighted down that it needs the release.

“You’re scaring me,” Lizzy whispers, still embracing him. 

“I’m gonna lose you,” Dean chokes out into her hair.  “You’re gonna be gone and I’m gonna be all alone.”

Tears of her own form and blur her vision as Dean speaks her very own fears.  She’s always been terrified that something was going to take him from her.  It happened once and Michael is threatening to do just that once more.   She can’t have it happen, not again.  They both live in a constant state of anxiety over losing the other.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Lizzy tells him with uncertainty. 

“You don’t know that.”

“No,” Lizzy admits, lifting his head to face her.  The tear streaked face looking right back up at her, so sad and weak, so unlike the man she knows so well, and she smiles.  “But you know I’ll do my damnedest to make is so.”

Dean shakes his head no, knowing that no matter how hard she tries she couldn’t make this promise, he returns his head to her neck and lets the tears fall freely. 

He’s just so fucking terrified….

* * *

"What made you change your mind?" Sam wonders the next morning as he looks over Ruby's knife that's now in his hands. His brother handed it over to him in a gesture that they both know is much larger than it looks.

"Long story…" Dean bushes off, not needing to recall his future experience. "The point is... maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that, we keep each other human."

"Thank you. Really. Thank you. I won't let you down." The look in Sam's eyes, the sheer happiness and relief to be back, makes Dean know that this decision is right.

"Oh, I know it," Dean nearly laughs. "I mean, you  _are_  the second-best hunter on the planet."

"Third!" Lizzy shouts to them from her spot leaning on the Impala a few feet away. She hung back to give them time and she had no intentions of eavesdropping at first. Damn curiosity killed her again.

Sam nods with a grin and a quiet laugh. It felt so good to hear Lizzy and Dean being themselves like that. It felt like home in every damn sense of the word and the feeling of home is exactly what he needs right now. That and his family having his back again while they take on this looming Apocalypse in a united front.

"So, what do we do now?" Sam wonders, asking his brother for guidance like he's done his whole life.

"We make our own future," Dean answers as he turns to walk back towards the car, Sam following him.

"Guess we have no choice," he agrees as he catches Lizzy pushing off from the car with her wide toothy smile. He walks straight for her and she hugs him in tight.

"I missed you, Sam-I-Am," she says against the front of his coat.

"Yeah, I know you did," Sam smirks as he feels so much better already.

"Ah, I'm so fucking happy!" she says, turning her bright eyes up to him. "I was so tired of doing all the research!"

"Is that all I am to you?" Sam asks, jokingly pushing her away from him.

"A big giant brain? Pretty much!" Lizzy laughs as she drops into the back seat, ready to let the brothers have some time together. Once they're all in the car, she leans forward over the front seat. "Dean sucks at research and my eyes are tired." She claps Sam on the shoulder. "Glad to have you back on the team, sport."

* * *

 

 


	4. If These Brick Walls Could Talk

* * *

Looking through the busy diner, Dean's eyes search until he finds what he's looking for. The now dark red hair she's decided to go with suddenly makes her much easier to spot in a crowd, which he isn't sure yet if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, it suited her. The second Lizzy came out of the bathroom about a week ago with her new hair color that she did out of a box, the red looking brighter in the sunlight that came through the big front window of the motel room in Jersey City… wait, no, Ocean City… he immediately pulled her into bed. Damn it, something about that color made her even sexier, fierier. It was exactly her style, perfectly her personality, and it made him want to do dirty, naughty things to her which overall isn't good. He really didn't need another reason to want her every second of the day.

Walking towards the booth he can see her deep, dark red ponytail just sticking up from the booth's backing while facing the other way, he has to wonder what's been up with her lately. For the past three days she's been awfully quiet, introverted, and anxious almost, and this very morning she disappeared before he and Sam even woke up. He called her but he realized she left her phone behind on the nightstand when he heard her 'Immigrant Song' ring tone in the room. This was a move which he knows is purposeful on her part. She never forgot her phone, ever… unless she wanted to.

He slides into the booth and settles in directly across from her. Sitting with his hands folded and forearms flat on the table's surface, he stares at Lizzy while she continues to read something on her laptop with her earbuds in. He leans forward with eyebrows high and plenty of annoyance when she ignores him, his face expectant as he tries to grab her attention. Instead of answer, she holds up her index finger to ask him to wait. Dean, a little offended, wrinkles his brow and leans back into the booth, arms draped over the backing. When she finishes reading what she was in the middle of she drops her finger, pulls out her earbuds, and looks at him.

"What?" Her tone is completely flat.

"Seriously? Eating alone?" Dean questions her as he looks at her untouched, small bowl a fruit and half-finished orange juice. "Or rather,  _not_  eating alone?"

She shrugs. "Didn't want to get hassled by Dr. Howard and Dr. Fine. You two have been all kinds of up my ass lately."

Dean considers a witty rejoinder to her remark but decides to shy away from doing so. Wrong timing. "We're a little concerned and I think we should be."

"Or you're both overreacting over nothing and it's annoying." Lizzy arches an eyebrow at him in challenge.

"We're not overreacting. You've been off and sooner or later you gotta get outta this funk. You're making me a little sketched here."

"As always…" she rolls her eyes.

"So talk to me and make me stop worrying then."

Lizzy looks up at him with discomfort and plenty of anger. He's been on her nonstop for days to open up and it feels like a cruel joke. All this time, nearly three years, and she used to hate the fact that he never really wanted to get into serious conversations. Hell, he never even used to ask her how she was doing. Now that she just needed some time he won't leave her alone. Fucking irony.

"Sorry Freud," Lizzy huffs. "But I was just looking for a little peace this morning. No Winchesters pestering me." She turns her attention back to her computer screen, the laptop she treated herself to after getting tired of prying eyes always seeing everything she's looking at on Sam's computer. And she's tired of the one laptop between the three of them breaking down with Dean's still-going love for Busty Asian Beauties here and there. She's still trying to figure out that weird fetish….

"That's all it was?" Dean wonders, knowing she's lying through her teeth. With her heart always on her sleeve, Lizzy couldn't hide when something was wrong… ever. She's completely transparent.

"Yup," she brushes off and picks up a fork. If she's going to try and get him off her back, she needs to eat. She spears a piece of cantaloupe and pops it into her mouth as her waitress walks up to their table.

"G'mornin' hon," the middle aged and rather plump woman says brightly to Dean. "What can I getcha?"

"Uh, eggs, scrambled, toast, bacon, and a coffee." Dean orders his default breakfast as he's too concerned with his girl at the moment to think about what else to eat.

"Not a problem," the woman smiles and disappears.

By the time she's gone, Lizzy is already staring at her computer again and ignoring him.

"Alright, I'm just gonna level with you here," Dean starts while leaning forward over the table and speaking low. "I know something's up with you."

"Oh do you?" Lizzy vies with narrowed eyes. Like this was a surprise for her. She can still feel his emotions. He's been concerned about her for days.

"I do. And it's freaking me out a little. L, you're the only one who holds their shit together out of this little group but the past three days… you've been  _weird_."

"Weird?" She keeps questioning him, hoping that she can somehow wear him down and make him give up. She's done it before.

"Yes, weird!" he harshly whispers so that he doesn't shout. "You've been eating less, you've had your face glued to that computer almost every free second you've had. I mean, come on! I tried to bring you to bar last night and you said no!"

"I didn't feel like being out with people and drinking."

"I know! And that's weird!" Dean takes a deep breath and leans forward a little more to keep himself quiet. "We haven't had sex in, like, three days."

"Here you go, hon," the plump waitress announces and puts a plate of food in front of Dean with a big smile.

"Ha, uh, thanks," Dean answers, hoping she wasn't listening to him.

"Wow, three days," Lizzy says very flatly once the waitress left their table, making fun of his concern over such a short time without fucking.

"L, that's like a drought! Two days, yeah, maybe, but three when we haven't been that busy? That's unheard of."

Inhaling deeply and letting it out with her eyes closed, Lizzy peers at him with a little bit of pity. She knows she hasn't been easy the past three days.

"I'm a fucking girl, Hot Shot. I'm emotional. Get over it."

"Bullshit," Dean shakes his head. "You only get super emotional when you're at your 'time of the month' but that isn't happening right now."

"How do you know that?" Lizzy as to ask. What, does he keep track of her days?

"Well, every time Flo's in town you become a grade-A bitch for a couple days and you haven't been a bitch. You've just been really distant," Dean tells her what they all know. She's an emotional person as it is so when she gets her period Sam and Dean both duck for cover for a few days. "Also, the bathroom trash is looking pretty empty."

"You checked the trash?" Lizzy wonders with annoyance at his tactics.

"I had to," Dean answers with sorry eyes. "You aren't talking to me."

The hurt expression on his face makes him look so small, so vulnerable, that it causes Lizzy to feel awful that she's been so off.

"I'm sorry I've been so difficult," Lizzy stubbornly tells him, hating to admit that she's been mean. "I'm still worried about Jesse and, I don't know, you're right. I've been in a funk."

As usual, Lizzy found herself bonding with the little antichrist they ran into two weeks ago and she really was worried about him. And hunts with kids always affected her extra hard. It sounded like a plausible excuse for her poor mood so she runs with it.

"I'm sure he's fine," Dean says calmly. "That kid can do anything, kill anything with just a thought. Fuck, he turned Cas into a G.I. Joe. He'll make it just fine."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"I am right," Dean winks at her as he finally picks up his fork. "I'm always right."

"Lucky me," Lizzy sarcastically responds while turning back to her laptop. "So I think I found something."

"What, like a job?" Dean asks with a mouthful of eggs.

"Yes, a job," she answers as she turns her computer to face him.

"But that's Sam-work," Dean tells her as he takes a bit of bacon, knowing they both usually let Sam find the new hunts. Neither of them were very studio or patient enough for hunt searches.

"Not this time," Lizzy answers, pointing to the screen. "LA. Some elderly people disappeared."

"Could just be senility," Dean tried to rationalize as he begins skimming the article. "Grandma went for a walk to find the cat she forgot died a year ago and got lost."

"Could be, but I doubt three senile old people would have had the presence of mind to carve a likeness of themselves out of a tree trunk to leave behind before they wander off into the world."

"What?" Dean asks with a scrunched up face as he scrolls through the article with three pictures, each one a missing person.

"Yeah, I know. This article from a local LA newspaper is pretty fucking strange. Something is definitely up and I want to check it out."

"You find this shit this morning?"

"Yup."

"Nice," Dean compliments. "Good work."

"Thanks," Lizzy answers a little more brightly than before as she closes the computer and gathers it up. "I'm gonna go see what Sam thinks."

"What? You're just gonna ditch a guy and make him eat all on his lonesome?" Dean asks incredulously while looking for her company. She's been so far away that he was enjoying what little he's managed to get out of her this morning.

"Sorry dude." Lizzy gets up, things in her hands and untouched fruit still on the table. "See ya' in a few." She heads towards the door and doesn't look back.

"Yeah…"

* * *

"I agree, this definitely looks like something to go check out," Sam tells her the second he reads over the article she found.

"I know," she concurs wholeheartedly.

"Doesn't make sense at all, though."

"Right? I mean, carvings of the missing… that's some seriously fucked up shit."

"You're telling me. I've never heard of anything like this." Sam starts clicking away on his own computer, sitting opposite Lizzy on her own laptop like they're playing a game of battleship, and soon he realizes the table they're at is shaking. He looks underneath it and sees Lizzy's knee bouncing a mile a minute. With a smirk he brings his head back up and peers at her.

"What?" Lizzy exasperatedly asks him when she catches him staring at her.

"You nervous or something?"

"No," she says quickly. "Why?"

"You're shaking the table." Sam smiles at her and she stops. "You seem nervous."

"I'm not nervous, Sam. Shut up." From Dean's brain to her mouth.

"Ok," Sam nods as he looks once more at his laptop. The quiet that descends upon the small room irks him. He tries to let it go but he can't. "Lizzy, do you want to talk…"

"Oh my God! Are you kidding with that!?" Lizzy shouts at him, making Sam's eye go wide in surprise with her tone. He hates that tone. It's terrifying. "What the  _fuck_  is wrong with the two of you!?"

Staring at her for a beat while dumbfounded, Sam rediscovers his voice. "Um, I don't know…"

"Three years, Sam! Three fucking years of feeling like I'm shouting at two massive brick walls, and now  _both_  of you want to talk to me!?" Lizzy stands, shoving her chair away from the table as she does, and shuts her laptop. "Can't deal with you two anymore. You're fucking impossible."

Sam keeps him mouth shut as Lizzy grabs her duffle and heads for the bathroom. A few seconds after she slams the door so hard it makes him jump a little, he hears the shower start and finally lets out the breath he'd been holding since she yelled at him.

He's at a loss with her. Whatever is going on with Lizzy, he and Dean are both highly concerned and for the first time ever, she's actually shutting them out. This can't be good.

* * *

"Hey," Dean says in a low tone when he gets back from the diner. He sees Sam sitting at the table with Lizzy's laptop in front of him. "What're you doing?"

"Do you know Lizzy's password?" Sam asks with a furrowed brow as he stares at the screen.

"Ah, no," Dean admits with hesitation. "She never told me it."

"Damn it," Sam quietly complains.

"Why are you trying to get on her computer?"

"Because I want to figure out what's wrong with her and maybe her browser history will help," Sam says, frustrated while running a hand through his hair. "She yelled at me."

"Why?"

"I said she seemed nervous."

"And she yelled at you for that!?" Dean asks incredulously.

"Oh yeah.  _Yelled_. With the scary voice."

"Damn it, I hate that voice," Dean grumbles as he looks over to the bathroom door. They both hate the scary voice. She uses it only when at her most angry. "She been in there long?"

"Yeah," Sam answers while looking at his phone to check the time. "Like twenty minutes."

"She'll be out soon then," Dean tells Sam as he walks to the table and shuts Lizzy laptop. "Not gonna get my balls chopped off for trying to hack into her computer. I doubt you want to either."

"Good thinking," Sam agrees, turning his attention back to his own computer. "I think she was on to something though."

"With the missing geezers?" Dean asks, looking back to the bathroom door when he hears the shower turn off.

"Yeah," Sam laughs quietly. "It's definitely an interesting case. I think it's worth looking into."

"Wouldn't mind heading back to California," Dean adds in. "Some sun, some relaxed attitudes… maybe L will loosen up out there."

"It's gonna be about a two day drive with an overnight stop though," Sam adds in. "We should head out soon."

"Sounds good to me," Dean answers, ready to get into the car. A little music, a little driving, his spirits should lift after that. "Just let me grab a shower before we go."

"Sure."

Dean grabs his duffle off the floor and heads for the bathroom door, knocking quietly.

"Yeah?" Lizzy calls out from the other side.

"I'm jumping in the shower," Dean gives her a heads up and turns the door knob. It's locked.

"I'll be right out, hold on," Lizzy answers to him.

Dean shares a confused look with Sam. Usually when Dean wanted into the bathroom she let him right in. Hell, they've showered together uncountable amounts of times, so her locking him out is just plain weird behavior for her. Add it to the ever growing list.

The bathroom door opens and Lizzy walks out. "All yours," she smiles up to him and plops down onto a bed and rifles through her things.

"Thanks," Dean drawls out and heads into the shower. Now he's more than worried.

* * *

 


	5. We Need to Talk About Lizzy

* * *

"Hey," Dean says in a low tone when he gets back from eating all by his lonesome at the diner. He sees Sam sitting at the table with Lizzy's laptop in front of him. "What're you doing?"

"Do you know Lizzy's password?" Sam asks with a furrowed brow as he stares at the screen, typing in his best guesses over and over.

"Ah, no," Dean admits with hesitation. "She never told me it."

"Damn it," Sam quietly complains.

"Why are you trying to get on her computer?"

"Because I want to figure out what's wrong with her and maybe her browser history will help," Sam says, frustrated while running a hand through his hair. "Something is seriously up with her."

"No shit," Dean grumbles while taking a seat at the foot of his bed.

"Dude. She yelled at me."

"Why?"

"I said she seemed nervous."

"And she yelled at you for that!?" Dean asks incredulously.

"Oh yeah.  _Yelled_. With the scary voice."

"Damn it, I hate that voice," Dean comments as he looks over to the bathroom door. They both hate the scary voice. She uses it only when at her most angry. "She been in there long?"

"Yeah," Sam answers while looking at his watch to check the time. "Like twenty minutes."

"She'll be out soon then," Dean tells Sam as he walks to the table and shuts Lizzy laptop. "Not gonna get my balls chopped off for trying to hack into her computer. I doubt you want to either."

"Good thinking," Sam agrees, turning his attention back to his own computer. "I think she was on to something though."

"With the missing geezers?" Dean asks, looking back to the bathroom door when he hears the shower turn off. Just as he thought.

"Yeah," Sam laughs quietly. "It's definitely an interesting case. I think it's worth looking into."

"Wouldn't mind heading back to California," Dean adds in. "Some sun, some relaxed attitudes… maybe L will loosen up out there."

"It's gonna be about a two day drive with an overnight stop though," Sam adds in. "We should head out soon."

"Sounds good to me," Dean answers, ready to get into the car. A little music, a little driving, his spirits should lift after that. "Just let me grab a shower before we go."

"Sure."

Dean grabs his duffle off the floor and heads for the bathroom door, knocking quietly.

"Yeah?" Lizzy calls out from the other side.

"I'm jumping in the shower," Dean gives her a heads up and turns the door knob. It's locked.

"I'll be right out, hold on," Lizzy answers to him.

Dean shares a confused look with Sam. Usually when Dean wanted into the bathroom she let him right in. Hell, they've showered together uncountable amounts of times, so her locking him out is just plain weird behavior for her. Add it to the ever growing list of things she's been doing lately that freak him out.

The bathroom door opens after a minute and Lizzy walks out. "All yours," she smiles up to him and plops down onto a bed to rifles through her things.

"Thanks," Dean drawls out and heads into the shower. Now he's more than worried.

* * *

"Ok, so this might be a little bigger than we thought," Sam announces as he continues his research on his laptop in the passenger seat of the car.

"What'd you find?" Dean wonders from behind the wheel, glancing over at the screen in front of his brother.

"Well, the three missing elderly people is one thing, but there have also been some missing infants."

"Aw, what?" Dean complains, hating the way this situation is sounding already. He reaches over the back of the seat and swats Lizzy's bent up knees to get her attention. She dove into the back seat the second they left the motel and ever since, for three hours straight, she's been lying down across the back with her eyes closed and her IPod blasting into her ears. When she feels Dean hit her knee she opens her eyes and sits up, pulling out her earbuds to listen.

"What's going on?" she asks while leaning her elbows on the seat back and looking at Sam.

"You might've stumbled onto something pretty big here," Sam starts to tell her. "The first elderly person disappeared about two weeks ago, just a day before the first infant disappeared."

"Infant?" she asks with surprise. She didn't come across anything about missing infants in the same area.

"There's been three others since, four in all," Sam continues. "All this has happened in the same ten mile radius as the elderly disappearances, all of it in one neighborhood."

"Where?" Dean asks.

"In the historic Filipino district of LA. Must be the hunting grounds for whatever it is that's doing this."

"Are there carvings left behind of the babies?" Dean wonders, looking for a definitive link.

"Uh, not that's been reported. But still, what are the chances they're  _not_  related."

"That's so wrong," Lizzy sadly says, her face registering her concern. "Old people, fine. They've had a good run, but newborns? Fuck. They got a chance to be anything."

"And by the way, what the fuck goes after old people  _and_  babies?" Dean wonders aloud, never having come across something that does such a thing. "That's a pretty wide variety."

"A refined palate for sure," Sam flatly jokes.

"That's not funny," Lizzy tells him, her face stern along with her words.

"Sorry," Sam apologizes while scrunching up his face, looking quickly to Dean with his awkward reaction, and going back to his computer. "It might just be that whatever is doing this only goes after the weak."

"That's some pretty pussy shit right there," Dean complains. "This thing is a fucking coward if that's the case."

"The elderly people were taken from assisted living homes," Sam continues. "They each lived at a different one though, so no help there."

"What about the kids?" Dean pries further.

"They're all different. Two were taken from the same hospital a day after they were born and the other two from their homes. None were more than a week old."

"Can you imagine that?" Lizzy bemoans, the horrific ordeal hitting her hard. "Something praying on the completely defenseless like that. Those parents, what they're going through… we have to figure this out."

"We will," Sam assures her. "But we're gonna have to figure out what's doing this first."

"I'm calling Bobby," Lizzy immediately says, pulling her phone out of her back pocket and speed dialing him.

As she talks to Bobby, relaying information to him from Sam, their go to guy himself is a little lost at first. When he doesn't recognize a culprit right away either, the hunters know it's bad.

* * *

"L," Dean calls into the back seat a few hours after Sam's update, hoping not to get her attention. She's had her eyes glued to the screen of the computer for an hour straight, her earbuds in and music playing so loud that he swears he can tell she's listening to Zeppelin from where he sits. "Lizzy, hey."

Once again, nothing. Perfect.

"Good, alright Sammy. Drop the research for a second," Dean asks of his brother as he turns up the volume on the Clapton tape he had playing to hide their conversation further. He needs to get to the bottom of things with Lizzy and right now was as good a chance as he was going to get. Once they stop for the night and are all in the same motel room, he won't have the chance to do this without her being onto him.

"Yeah, sure," Sam shrugs off.

"Can you do like a symptom check or something, on Lizzy?" Dean begins to explain and Sam is already on the same page as he is. They both want to know what's going on with her very badly and the window of opportunity is perfect.

"Alright," Sam answers once he has a new browser open. "Uh, what the hell am I putting in?"

"How about being schizo and not talking at all?"

"Don't think those are symptoms, Dean."

"Ok, try moody as fuck then."

"Moody…" Sam types in. "What about her back? Hasn't that been bothering her?"

"Yeah but that's just an old dance injury," Dean answers looking back over his shoulder to insure she isn't listening. "And that ghost pushed her into the edge of that table a couple days ago. I think that aggravated it."

"What else then?"

They both sit quietly for a moment thinking it over. Besides being unpredictable with her mood, there really hasn't been much.

"She's had like three headaches in the past week, hasn't she?" Sam comes up with. "What about that?"

"Yeah, that's good. Put that in." Dean waits until Sam stops typing. "What's it say?"

"Give me a second." Reading through the search results, Sam finds some possible options. "Ok, so could be one of a few things that sound plausible."

"Try me," Dean asks of his brother, ready to solve the mystery of what the fuck is up with his woman.

"One is Celiac disease."

"Sounds scary," Dean worries as he glances at the screen.

"It sounds like not what Lizzy has though," Sam explains as he further reads. "Symptoms do include moodiness and headaches, but this disease is all about the body's inability to process certain types of foods."

"Which means…."

"Our motel bathrooms would have been destroyed by now with the crap she eats." Sam smiles over at his brother.

"Gross," Dean answers back with a disgusted face. "Sounds awful."

"It is awful from what I'm reading."

"Next up?"

"Uh… well, you're not gonna like this one."

"I'm not gonna like anything that could be wrong with her. Just spit it out."

"Pregnancy."

"What!?" Dean asks quickly while swerving slightly, the word making him nervous already.

"You heard me," Sam answers, reading off the symptoms. "Mood swings, headaches, fatigue… she hasn't been tired lately, has she?"

"No." Dean's eyes refuse to leave the road as he sits rigidly in the driver's seat.

"Ok, good. That's a big one. Also says bloating and eating habits changing are other symptoms."

"She hasn't been eating a lot," Dean quietly says, knowing he's ticking off another box on the very scary check list.

"Or at all," Sam adds, the heaviness of this conversation getting to him now.

"Wait!" Dean calls out when something dawns on him. "She's on the pill, dude. She can't be knocked up."

"She been taking them all at the same time of day, every day?" Sam wonders, remembering when he was with Jess and she was on the pill. She had to take one every day at the same time for it to be completely, one-hundred percent effective.

"That I've seen, yeah."

"She'd tell you if she didn't… or like, missed one?"

"I hope so," Dean remarks. "I really don't think that's it."

"Ha, wouldn't surprise me though," Sam quips quickly. "All you two do is cheat Mother Nature's intended course of action."

"Shut up. Another option?"

"The last one I have is depression," Sam returns to his computer. "Mood swings, lack of appetite, headaches, disinterest in formerly loved things…"

"That explains the lack of action I've been seeing in the sack," Dean grumbles about his rapidly disappearing sex life. "I'm fucking dying over here."

"It's only been a few days!" Sam rebuts.

"Yeah, a few days in which she's been around me the whole time! I mean come on, that's like waving a donut in front of a cop and not letting him eat it!"

"You'll live," Sam assures as he keeps reading the article on depression.

"But for how long?" Dean drearily asks. "She wore those tight, black yoga pants to bed last night. Do you know how much fucking will power it took to not get inside those things?"

"Yeah, yoga pants are kinda your kryptonite, or at least one of your kryptonites," Sam adds without looking, clicking away and growing more concerned by the second.

"Especially on her," Dean says, his eyes suddenly far away along with his thoughts. "Such a fucking perfect ass. Mm."

"Shit, Dean, I gotta say… this sounds right." Sam looks over at his brother with a sad and worried face and pulls Dean out of his dirty thoughts.

"Depression?" Dean asks with a little disbelief. "She's always the miss fucking sunshine of this group. Glass is always half full. How would this have happened?" His eyes drift to the rearview mirror to glance at her clicking away on her laptop in the backseat, completely oblivious to their conversation. Her face concentrated as she works, she looks no different than she ever does in the moment. She looks like his Lizzy, the one who acted like she always did, but it's like she's been a stranger lately.

"I don't know , man," Sam tries to rationalize. "This job isn't easy and we both know what a toll it can take on people. Maybe after all she's seen it's finally caught up to her."

Dean nods, knowing how true it is. With all that's hanging around her neck who wouldn't walk away completely weighed down.

"So what do we do about it?"

"We try and get through to her," Sam shrugs while he starts reading more on his computer. "We have to be understanding, know that if she lashes out at us that it isn't really her doing it… that would explain her yelling at me this morning." He makes a hurt face, remembering how weird it was and how much he hated it. "Basically, offer her help when she wants it, let her cry if she's gotta, and if it gets worse seek professional help."

"Professional help?" Dean asks with disbelief.

"Well, yeah. Like a shrink."

"Oh, yeah. I can see it now," Dean bites back. "She can complain about the demon that killed her parents, vent about losing her sister to vampirism, and then talk about how the rest of her family will die when some angels jump up their asses. I'm sure that'll go over well." He washes a hand down his face and sighs. "Fuck."

"Yeah, I know."

"We should talk to her about this."

"We?" Sam says, eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"Yeah, we," Dean says to him. "She sometimes listens to you more than she listens to me for whatever reason and you have to live with her just like I do. You should be a part of that."

Sam nods and fights what he feels like would be an inappropriate smile. It's so good to be back in his brother's good graces now and to be considered so important and close to Lizzy that she'd trust him with something so personal.

Both sit with the discovery for a second. They never really figured something like this would happen to Lizzy. She was a rock, too tough to let something like this get to her. They never really had to worry about her too much. Now they find themselves having no idea what to do about the situation nor how to help her. This isn't on their comfort level.

* * *

The rest of the day consisted of Sam and Lizzy doing quiet research while Dean drove them closer to their destination. Over the course of seven hours they've collaborated on a list of possible creatures that could be at fault but until they get to LA and do some poking around they won't be able to narrow it down any more.

"That's what she said," Lizzy absentmindedly says at the same time as Michael Scott does on the television while she's buried in her computer once more.

"L, come grab some dinner," Dean calls over to her in the lightest tone he can manage from the table where he and Sam are eating pizza.

"I'm ok," she answers without looking up. She plopped down on one of the beds right when they checked in and hasn't moved yet. Dean had thought that her putting a rerun of The Office on was a good sign as she's been in love with that show for years but she's barely paid attention to it.

"Lizzy?" Dean tries again to get her attention. She looks up with a very blank face. "Just one slice, to make me happy."

She sees the worry lines deepening around his eyes as he looks at her. He just wants so badly to be helpful and make sure she's taking care of herself. As hungry as she isn't, she gets up with a sigh.

"Only because I like you," she says without a smile and pulls a slice of pizza out of the box.

"Thank you," Dean happily says to her, so glad she's going to eat something.

She sits on the edge of the bed and stares at the TV while eating very slowly. By the time Sam and Dean nearly finish the rest of the pizza Lizzy makes it down to the crust of her one single slice.

"Beers?" Sam asks the room as he leans down into the small refrigerator in the room.

"Yeah," Dean answers as he starts clearing the table from their take-out dinner.

"I'm fine, thanks," Lizzy refuses once more, just like the past few days. She moves back up to the top of the bed to sit against the headboard and hides once more behind her laptop in order to ignore the rest of the room.

"Hey. Could you maybe put the computer away for a second?" Dean evenly asks her as he sits next to her on their bed. "Sam and I want a minute with ya'." He doesn't say the dreaded word  _talk_. She seemed to have shut down when they used it the past few days so he avoids it.

She closes her eyes for a quick second. She knew she'd have to deal with this sooner or later, but she wasn't ready just yet. And she was hoping to talk to Dean only first, but oh well. She shouldn't have waited so long anyways. It's her fault.

"Ok guys," Lizzy says while closing her computer and dropping it on the nightstand. "Go ahead."

"We're just a little concerned, as you already know," Sam starts, sitting on the other bed facing her. She's got a hunter to each side of her now and hopes this isn't going to turn into an attack-Lizzy kind of situation. "You know we care about you."

"Captain Obvious," she nods and Sam smiles nervously.

"We just need to make sure you know that we're here for you," Dean adds in. "No matter what's wrong, we're always gonna stick with you."

"Filing this under stuff I already know, guys." It comes out harsher than she intended it to.

Sam sighs. "Lizzy… are you… uh, are you ok?"

Looking between the both of them she sucks it up. "Not sure yet."

"Look, L," Dean starts while taking her hand. "We know, ok?"

"You know what?" her face pales instantly.

"About what's going on with you," Sam explains. "And it's nothing to be ashamed about."

"Yeah, I know…." Lizzy says discernibly, never having thought that shame would be part of the equation for her right now.

"Good." Sam nods, not having thought she'd be so accepting of her depression.

"Happens to good people all the time, right?" Dean adds in lightly.

"Sure does," Lizzy responds with narrowed eyes and growing confusion. What the fuck are they talking about?

"Just know that whenever you need to talk or… just… have a good cry or whatever, we're ok with that." Dean smiles small at her as he struggles through the serious and uncomfortably emotional conversation.

Lizzy lowers her brow and looks between the two of them once more. Again, what the fuck are they talking about?

"Depression can hit anyone at any time and with all you've been through…" Sam pauses for a moment. "We're kinda surprised that this didn't happen earlier. You've been really strong."

If they weren't being so damn understanding and sure of themselves, she would have laughed. Depression? If her shitty life hadn't thrown her into a pit of despair by now, it wasn't ever going to. But here they were, trying so hard to help her when she clearly needs it, being so sweet and kind… she's a lucky hunter, if those even exist.

"Thanks, guys," Lizzy says to them, genuinely touched with their display of affection. "I know I've been a pain in the ass and I'm sorry about that…"

"Don't be sorry," Dean quickly adds, not wanting her to blame herself for anything.

"I really do appreciate your concern, both of you. I'm very fortunate to have two people who care that much about me,  _very_  fortunate."

"Well, we already know how lucky we are to have you around," Sam smiles to her. "Just returning the favor when we can."

Lizzy nods and fights the urge to cry. God damn emotions.

"Hey, uh, would it be weird if I just wanted to watch TV in bed right now?" Ok, so maybe she's taking advantage a little by using the guise of depression for her own selfish wants. So what? Plus, she is pretty tired.

"Sure," Dean answers while getting up. He leans over her and drops a kiss on her forehead. "Go for it."

Lizzy pulls back the covers and settles in with the remote in her hand. As she half-watches the random reruns she realizes now that she really has to talk to Dean tomorrow. He deserves to know what her problem really is.

* * *

 


	6. Someday Never Comes

* * *

Waking up in pain, Lizzy looks at the clock on the wall. A little after two in the morning. Her lower abdomen is killing her and immediately she starts to panic. Springing out of bed, she strides quickly to the bathroom and shuts the door behind her.

Lizzy's fast movements make Dean wake up instantly. He just catches a glimpse of her running to the bathroom before she manages to close the door almost silently. After a quick second he sits up and waits for her to come back out and see if she's ok. The problem is that she doesn't come out. He waits patiently, thinking maybe she just needs a second alone. He's brand new to the whole depression thing, though he'd put money on it that if a psychologist ever got ahold of him he'd find out he's been at least a little depressed for a long time now.

Holding his breath and straining his ears, his heart rips in two. He can hear her crying. Shit.

Getting up as quietly as he can, Dean creeps to the door in his t-shirt and boxer briefs and listens. She's definitely crying, and not just crying. She's sobbing.

Rapping his index finger knuckle on the door lightly three times, Dean puts his ear to the door. She doesn't respond. He turns the knob slowly, happy to know that she didn't lock it this time, and cracks the door open.

"L?" Dean whispers into the door.

"Dean," Lizzy quietly cries out, her voice almost pleading for him. That's all he needs to hear.

He pushes the door open as silently as possible, turning around to shut it with a nearly unheard click in order not to wake Sam before looking around the room. With the sight inside, he panics.

"What… L! Are you hurt!?" The sink has the cotton shorts she had been wearing to bed in it along with her underwear, both stained red with blood. Lizzy is sitting in the bathtub with her knees drawn up to her chest. She's looking up to him with the most devastating expression he's ever seen from her.

"Dean…" is all she gets out before succumbing to sobs again.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean softly asks while sitting onto the tile floor next to her. He can feel his heart hammering hard in his chest when he looks into the bright white tub and sees the small red trail of blood making its way from under where she's seated towards the drain. "You're bleeding."

Lizzy nods. "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Dean asks while reaching a hand to her cheek. She closes her eyes with the contact, making fresh tears fall.

"I should have said something… I didn't know how. I…."

"What should you have said?" Dean asks with a wrinkled brow and complete alarm.

"It's your right to know, but I couldn't… I was so scared. So fucking scared. And I didn't know what to do about it yet."

"Please, Lizzy. You have to make sense. What's happening with you?"

"I am… I  _was_ … pre… fuck," she chokes out, the words killing her. "Shit, I was… pregnant."

"What!?" Dean nearly shouts. "You were… what?"

Lizzy nods again and it all starts clicking for him. She  _was_  pregnant,  _was_  being the operative word.

"Oh… L," Dean starts, the pit in his stomach growing by the second.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you," she apologizes again with utter sorrow. "I was fucking terrified…. And I didn't know what… what to think or what to do with... didn't know how I felt… afraid of what you'd say and what we would do about everything…."

"Hey, calm down a minute," Dean says to her, her breathing jagged and labored with her crying. "L, everything is still alright."

"No it's not. No… I…"

"I'm not mad at you, Lizzy," Dean assures her softly. "You were freaked out. I love you and I'm not upset that you didn't say anything."

"S' not it," she cries as she peers quickly at the red color contrasting the bright white tub. "Knew you wouldn't be mad."

She lifts her eyes to look at him again, a deeper pain written in them than before.

"Dean, I… damn it. I wanted it."

And that's the moment his world cracks in half.

"I wanted it so bad." She cries even harder when she admits it out loud. She'd already made her decision. "That was  _ours_ … we did that and I wanted it, to keep it."

Reaching forward over the edge of the tub Dean wraps his arms around her shaking frame. She grabs at him so hard it hurt, her hands fisting at the back of his shirt.

"It's ok," Dean tries to calm her, his hand running down the back of her head. "L, it's gonna be ok, I promise."

"This is not how this is supposed to turn out." Lizzy presses her face to the front of his short, feeling her tears soaking into the fabric.

They sit like this for a long time, how long neither of them know. Lizzy finally finds a way to quiet her sobs once she's feeling protected and no longer alone. The knock on the door pulls them back to reality.

"Everything ok?" Sam quietly asks.

"Need a minute here, Sam," Dean calls back with a sigh before looking back at Lizzy. "How long did you know?"

"I can't…" Lizzy barely gets out. "Not now…"

"Hey, that's fine, ok?" Dean soothes to her. "We'll talk tomorrow, when you're ready."

Lizzy nods thankfully. She can't handle going through all that right now. She was all prepared to have a completely different talk with him tomorrow, one filled with a little bit of hope for the most likely shitty and scary future. Now her talk is going to be all apologies and depressive explanations. Maybe it's a good thing that the guys had done their depression research. They might need it now.

"I'm going to get your stuff," Dean tells her, his hand once more on her cheek. "You should clean up and get some rest, ok?"

Lizzy nods again. Clean up. Clean up what could have been. Wash all that hope away and let it down the drain. Fuck.

"I love you," Dean tells her again, kissing her cheek and standing up. "Take your time."

One last nod from her and he leaves. She doesn't move for a few minutes, just sits with reality. Crushing disappointment is all she can manage to feel. And she's completely heartbroken to her core.

* * *

"What's going on?" Sam asks while standing up off his bed the second Dean leaves the bathroom. His brother gives him a despondent look but says nothing. He grabs Lizzy's bag off the floor and walks back to the bathroom, only opening the door enough to place it on the toilet. Once the door is closed again, Dean puts his back to it and leans against it as he feels off kilter a bit.

"Dean?" Sam tries again and once more he gets a look from his brother that shows how destroyed he is.

With his hands on his hips as he looks over to Sam, the situation finally hits Dean for exactly what is it. Shaking his head as he wills the tears to stop forming, he can't speak. What does he say? How does he explain this to Sam? He can't even attempt to come to terms with this for himself in the moment.

"Shit," Sam worries aloud as the shower is heard turning on. He's so lost right now. "Man, you gotta fill me in here."

Running a hand down his face when the drops make their way down their cheeks, he looks over to his little brother who just wants to help. "We were wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"She's not depressed," Dean sniffs in once, his voice quiet, almost childlike. "She was pregnant."

"Holy crap," Sam immediately answers. He assumed after their talk earlier that Lizzy was depressed and took it for face value when she all but admitted it. He mulls it over however and it does makes sense. Aside from the birth control pills, it fits what Lizzy's been going through. But why is Dean crying over this? "Well, this isn't the worst thing to happen. We could figure out a way to make this work. Lizzy could get out while we…"

" _Was_ , Sam," Dean sighs loudly. "Was."

Sam's heart stops as the whole picture gets clearer.

"Oh," is all he manages at first. "I'm…. I'm sorry, man."

"Yeah," Dean answers back, looking away. He knows how absolutely implausible that situation would have been right now, Apocalypse looming and all. He isn't even sure he could be around for his own kid, not knowing Michael's intended tactics to get his mitts on him. Hell, he didn't even know she was pregnant until right now, but it still hurts. Damn it, it hurts so fucking bad. And knowing how much Lizzy wanted that and how much this is hurting her….

He's pulled out of his sad train of thought when he's very unexpectedly pulled into a hug.

"Dean, I'm really sorry," Sam quietly says in a very rare display of affection. It catches Dean so off guard that he doesn't move at first, his arms hanging down by his side. Eventually he does what he can, hugging his brother back as new tears fall for Lizzy and her pain as well as his own.

"Thanks, Sammy," Dean struggles out and backs away. He takes a few deep breaths and once more washes a hand down his face. "Gotta stop being such a fucking baby before she comes out here."

Sam nods and says nothing, knowing Dean's trying to be strong for Lizzy when he might be crumbling just as hard. His big brother is tougher than most and he knows he'll be everything Lizzy needs right now, but Sam has to have his concerns about what this will do to him in the long run.

* * *

Turning off the water after a very long shower, Lizzy sighs. She found a way to stop crying now, but she feels like she's constantly on the verge of starting again at any second. This is awful. It hurt both physically and emotionally at the same time. She remembers vaguely when Lou's mom Jane went through this once when she and Lou were little. Jane disappeared for nearly a week, not leaving her room and slipping into a dark place very quickly. Her own mother sat her down and explained it the best she could to an eight year old what was happening. Lizzy wishes Lou could be with her through this. Her sister could really help get her past this whole thing without a doubt.

Pulling the shower curtain open to reach for a towel, she gasps immediately.

"Cass!" she calls out with shock to see him standing in the bathroom looking right at her before she closes the curtain again. This is the last thing she needed right now. "What the fuck do you want?"

"You're hurt," he explains. "And I felt your pain so of course, I came as soon as I could."

Covering her face with her hands as she stands naked in the shower she fights the new tears with a vengeance.

"Hand me a towel?" she ask of him quietly. "And my bag?"

"Certainly," the angel answers, grabbing the items hastily and passing them through the edge of the shower curtain.

"Thanks." Lizzy sighs and dries off. "You still have the car angel-Lojacked?"

"I have to look out for you." It was a simple answer that had such heavy meaning behind it.

"Thanks for coming but there's nothing you can help me with."

"I have to wonder if that is the truth or your stubborn nature speaking," Castiel challenges as he knows how many times she's refused his help at first when he's offered it. He knows something is wrong, very wrong. It's physical, it emotional, and it's really doing a number on her.

"Both," she chokes out and once more her fluctuating feelings win out. She starts crying once more as she scrambles to get some clothes on.

Castiel stands in place and waits for her to reemerge out of the shower. It takes a few minutes for her to do so but eventually she pulls the curtain aside and steps over the edge of the tub. Now in sweatpants and her favorite Van Halen t-shirt her father gave her in high school, her red eyes peer at the angel.

"Let me help you." It's more a demand than a question.

"Cass, you really can't," Lizzy cries as Castiel walks over to her and places his hand on her shoulder. With a suddenly concerned face from him, she knows he's figured it out already.

"Elizabeth, I am sorry for your loss." It's flat and emotionless, but somehow it hits her hard. He really does care and he is sorry she has to go through this. She can feel it from him.

Lizzy just leans forward and presses her face into Castiel's trench coat, the crying turning into sobbing once more. She really can't stop it from happening no matter how hard she tries.

"You must have faith," he explains to her as he slowly and awkwardly brings his arms around her shaking frame. "It may not seem like it but I can guarantee this happened for a reason. It is not your time."

"It'll never be my time."

Her small voice makes him realize how much he's learned to feel since knowing her. He's seen this happen to so many women in his lifetime, but this time it's affecting him. As much as he knows it truly isn't her time for a family, he still feels bad. Seeing her like this makes something pull in his chest, or in Jimmy's chest. He isn't sure which.

"You should not say such things."

"Why not?" Lizzy wonders.

"Just… have faith."

Lizzy stays like that, somehow actually getting comfort from the angel that is normally cold and stone-faced. Besides Dean, no one could possibly understand her so well and it's actually nice to have him there.

"You should rest," Castiel suggests, feeling her completely drained energy level. "And heal."

"Thank you for coming, Cassie," Lizzy cries up to him with a completely forced smile.

"Yes, well… it has always been my privilege to look after you." Castiel smiles at her sadly. "Elizabeth, you have to hear me. You need to believe."

Looking at him strangely, she tries to understand what he's attempting to let her in on.

"What do you mean?"

"I cannot say more than that," Castiel tells her. "Just please, have faith."

He disappears from the room and leaves her alone again. She sits with the words for a moment before opening the door of the bathroom to go back into the main room. She finds Sam and Dean with a bottle of beer each sitting on their respective beds facing each other over the gap between them. They both look over at her at the same time, pity written in their faces.

Without a word she drops her bag and heads for the whiskey bottle on the table. Fuck beer. Beer isn't strong enough for this one. She pours out a hefty glass and sits next to Dean on their bed.

"Figure it doesn't matter now," she says depressingly as she tips the glass at Dean and takes a very large gulp. She then leans against her man, her head on his shoulder, and looks at the floor.

Dean presses a hand to the side of her head and pulls her in tighter. Neither know what to say because in this situation, there really aren't words to say at all.

Sam reaches across the gap and takes up Lizzy's free hand and holds tight, silently telling her everything he verbally can't in the moment. She squeezes back and fights the fresh wave of sorrow.

"At least the two loves of my life are still with me, right?" she says to her men and it's the last thing she says until much later the next day.

* * *

 


	7. Always Coming to Terms with it All

* * *

It took another day of driving to get to LA. Dean offered to let Lizzy take some time where they currently were to rest up and recover as much as possible, but she declined. Sam then tried to tell her they could easily call some other hunters to take care of whatever it is they stumbled upon, but once more she said no way. She insisted it'd be good for her to get back at it and occupy her mind with something else. Plus, infants being taken from their families? Right now, with how hard this scenario is hitting home with her, this monster better fear the day she comes across it.

They found a rundown place a few miles out from what they've determined is the creature's hunting grounds and settled in for the night. It was decided that Dean and Lizzy would head to the hospital and look into the missing infants (that was Lizzy's choice) and Sam would go to the elderly homes and see what he could find there.

Dean, still waiting on Lizzy to be ready to talk to him, went out to work on his car for a bit, looking for the much needed distraction. As much as he preferred to do oil changes at Bobby's as he had everything he needed in one place, sometimes he was nowhere near Sioux Falls when his baby needed some loving and he would never deny baby some loving.

Lying under his car while the oil starts draining, he hears quiet footsteps coming closer to him over the soft sound of his father's Johnny Cash mix playing through the open Impala windows. He already knows it's her without looking so he scoots out and stands up.

"Can we talk?" she asks him, hoping that he can pause his work for a moment now that she's finally got him alone and found herself in a good enough place to speak to him. She had a comfortable sweatshirt on, hands buried in its pockets, and her most worn-in, ripped up jeans. Her face looks young and slightly guilt-ridden. Dean thinks she looks like a kid, like the kid he met during their time travel to her hometown. Lizzy could always do that, no matter how much of an ass kicker or dirty talker, no matter how tough or sexy or downright scary she could be, she always had that girl-next-door quality. She'll always be a bit of an innocent and sweet young thing to him.

"Yeah, of course," he answers as he wipes his hands on a rag. He closes the hood for now and pats it, gesturing for her to take a seat.

She climbs on and, taking a deep breath once he sits next to her, she starts in. "First of all, baby, I am so, so sorry I kept you in the dark like I did."

"I assume you had your reasons," Dean tells her while grabbing her hand and sandwiching it with his own, making sure she knows that no matter what she tells him, he's going to be fine with it and he's going to be understanding.

"I did. I was…  _scared_ ," she says while looking up at him. "It felt very wrong keeping the news to myself, and I know it was wrong too, but… I, I was so confused over how I felt and I thought that once I told you, you were going to absolutely freak, like get super weirded out and just drive off for a while or something. I hate when you do that, you know that. I needed to be in a good place with everything so that when I told you I could help you get past the initial… shock, or whatever."

"You didn't need to be so focused on me and what I thought, L. This should have been more about you anyways."

"No way," she explains her perspective instantly. "That was a total fifty-fifty, me  _and_  you."

Dean has to appreciate the way she sees it. Even if she was the one going through it physically she wanted him to know it was about them both.

"So I, uh, I found out four days ago," she hurriedly admits, getting it over with.

"Right when you started acting weird."

"Yeah," she nods. "Remember when we stopped at that gas station in Kentucky and I was in the bathroom for a while? You made fun of me, saying something about me dropping the kids off at the pool?"

"I have a feeling I'm about to feel real bad about that," Dean says to her while peering at her.

"I was taking a pregnancy test. Had to wait for the results. I was like a week late at that point. I figured at first I missed my period due to stress. That's happened to me before. But when I started feeling sick…"

"You were sick?" he interrupts, surprised to hear she hadn't felt well. He never saw it.

"Oh yeah," Lizzy nods. "I threw up a few times when you luckily weren't around. It was gross. I felt sick pretty much all day every day."

"Which is why you weren't eating," Dean says with obvious discovery.

"Exactly." She looks at the pavement below with shame for how she's behaved. He noticed almost everything, he knows her so well. She now realizes that she was naïve and a bit stupid for assuming she'd get away with hiding her secret without suspicion.

Dean keeps quiet but pulls an arm around her shoulders to bring her closer.

"Once I knew, I panicked. I now know real fright now, Dean." She looks up to him with sorrow. "This whole world is fucked right now. I don't even know if any of us are gonna make it out alive at this point none the less be there for a child in the future. Everything is such a mess and our lives are so tangled up in it, I just didn't… I know that bringing a kid into such a dangerous situation is a bad idea."

"It  _is_ ," Dean agrees completely with her. "But sometimes you can't help that. This wasn't something we set out to make happen."

Lizzy nods and looks away for a second.

"How  _did_  this happen?" Dean asks her. He can't figure out how they'd be irresponsible enough for this to occur.

"That vamp that we knocked off right before we passed out at that motel and Zach popped in to fuck with you?"

"Yeah…"

"I forgot to take my pill through the exhaustion of it all, so I missed a day. I took it the second I realized my mistake and did as I was always told. Take it easy with sex for a few days, which is recommended when that happens, but apparently that wasn't enough. It screwed up my system just enough to let this happen."

"You kept that from me too?"

"It wasn't important, I thought. Happens all the time all around the damn world, chicks forgetting their pills. If I missed more than one, I would have told you, but one isn't supposed to be a big deal." She looks back up at him. "Really learned my lesson there."

She sighs loudly while seeing his concentrated yet concerned expression.

"In the three days I was acting off, I was trying to figure out what I personally wanted before I let you in on it. I thought long and hard, thought of… getting rid of it…. Honestly that seemed like the most logical answer with everything going on but I, I just knew I couldn't. I couldn't do that. That was you and me, something  _we_  did, something with so much potential… something I already fell in love with. I couldn't bring myself… to… to, um…."

"Hey, it's ok," Dean tells her once more when he hears her voice cracking and he hugs her into his chest. "You know, I doubt I'd be able to let you go through with ending it, even if that's what you wanted." He doesn't think he'd have the guts to terminate such a wonderful thing.

"I had a feeling. I mean, I know what I  _should_  have done, but I knew what I wanted to do so much more. And I knew deep down that you'd agree with me."

"I would've, absolutely."

Sitting in silence for some time, they both just take a minute to think things through, especially Dean who now has a lot to process.

"You really aren't upset with me?" Lizzy asks up to him, still surprised that he wasn't mad for her holding out on telling him.

"Not really. I mean it sucks and I do wish I knew before you, uh… before I found you last night, the way that I did. But out of the two of us, you handle things much better than I ever have, or ever will. I'm sure you did what you thought was best in that situation. And you're right, by the way. I would have lost my shit at first."

"Thought so," Lizzy sighs with absolute relief as she melts into him a little more. "God, I love you so much, which is why this was so fucking hard to deal with. What we have, it's so big. I want to share that and grow on that… that could have been our kid, our  _family_ …."

"I know how much you want that so I know how much this just blows," Dean tells her, kissing her forehead. "I sorry you have to go through this. It's completely unfair."

"Such is life," Lizzy answers flatly. "I'm used to the shit end by now. Why should I think I'd get the clean end of the stick this one time?"

"You shouldn't."

"No shit," she responds with obviousness before digging a little deeper. "You think that's the closest we ever come to getting the white picket fence?"

"You don't want my answer to that." Damn, it hurts to think that way, but right now it's the only way they can think. It's not in the cards for them. Sure they'd have done what they could if they found themselves having a baby, but they would never purposefully put a child in that situation, in that life. Dean swore he'd never have anything to do with bringing up a child in the world of hunting and they aren't getting out of hunting.

"Yeah," Lizzy responds, still finding her way to some kind of acceptance of the whole hunting-is-permanent thing. "So I think I need to find a doctor tomorrow, just to make sure everything is ok and all. That I'm ok."

"Makes sense. We can do that after we check out the hospital. Maybe while we're there they can give us some names of docs around here that specialize in… that…"

"What? Vaginas?" Lizzy huffs a small laugh.

"Sure." Dean nods his head and smiles slightly, happy to hear her laugh even if it was just a tiny, barely audible one.

"Sounds good to me."

"We're ok, L. We always will be." Dean steps down from his car and stands in front of her. "Just please don't ever shut me out like that again." He cups her face in his hands and looks in her eyes. "I mean it. No more hiding shit that's hurting you."

"Well hello pot. I'm kettle," Lizzy jests quietly. "You about to call me black now?"

"Ok, so we'll both work on that," Dean submits, knowing he's being just as hypocritical as she tells him he is.

"I'd really like that." Lizzy sends him a genuine smile, the first he's seen in so long.

Dean kisses her lips, also a first in what feels like far too long, and makes sure she knows he'll never stop being there for her as long as he's still kicking. He then pulls her into a tight hug, Lizzy responding immediately and pulling him into her hard.

"I love you, L," he tells her. "More than you know."

"I have a good feeling that I do know."

"I just hate that I can't give you what you want."

"What  _we_  want," Lizzy corrects. "And clearly you can."

"Yeah, I guess that's true," Dean nods, now knowing as fact that he is able to produce children. "With all the shots to the nuts I've taken in my life I'm kinda surprised."

"Hell, you're boys beat almost perfectly taken birth control pills, abuse from fighting off evil shit for years… fuck Dean, you have super sperm if you ask me."

"You might be right," Dean admits when he considers it. "God damn I am one manly son of a bitch, ain't I?"

"You're something alright," Lizzy says much more seriously that the joke warrants. He really is. She's one lucky in love, unlucky hunter. For the first time she says to him what he always says to her. "I so don't deserve you."

* * *

 


	8. Attempting to Move On

* * *

"Excuse me," Dean smiles to the woman sitting in her office as he knocks on the frame of the opened door. She looks up from behind her large, dark-wood desk and smiles.

"Yes?" she asks, taking off her glasses a she looks up at him.

"Are you Dr. Aquino?" Dean asks her as he takes a step inside the room of the hospital, Lizzy following close behind.

"That's me," she nods, putting her pen down and leaning back in her chair.

"I'm Agent Plant, this is Agent Bonham," he explains as they both hold out their bunk badges for the doctor to see. "We were hoping to take a little of your time to talk to you about the missing infants."

"Oh, yes," she sadly says while pointing to the two seats across from her desk. "Please, sit down."

The hunters each take a seat while the middle aged, dark haired doctor sighs loudly with obvious concern and puts away the file she'd been working on.

"It's been awful," Dr. Aquino immediately admits. "I'm actually really glad you're here."

"That's nice to hear," Lizzy says with a small smile. "We don't get that too often."

"Well, being the head of the maternity ward I'm more than concerned. I am willing to take any help we can get."

"What can you tell us about the two missing newborns?" Dean dives right in and wastes no time. He's nervous about having Lizzy here in the first place. With everything still so fresh he thinks the maternity ward will be tough for her to be in. He hopes this won't take too long.

"They both went missing a few days within each other," she explains while getting up and walking to a large filing cabinet. She pulls out the top drawer and starts flipping through the manila hanging files. "They were both very healthy babies, one boy and one girl."

"Were they both delivered the same way?" Lizzy pries, looking for a connection.

"No," she answers as she sits down with two files in hand. She opens the top one up and hands it to Lizzy. "Laylay Castro was born through natural child birth. Everything went smooth as can be."

Holding open the file, Lizzy looks down at the photo of the small baby girl clipped to it. Her eyes were closed and she looked like she was yawning at the time. Only a few hours old, she was still cute as hell and Lizzy had to smile a little before the sadness set in. She was the one who insisted that she take this end of the investigation but now she's a bit worried that it was a bad idea as she looks at what could have been her future.

"Doon Bautista was a tough case. After some complications with mom we had to perform an emergency C-section," Dr. Aquino explains, handing the file to Dean. "Mom was a bit worse for the wear, but Doon was also perfectly healthy."

"Ah, Doon and Laylay?" Dean wonders with a scrunched up face. "What's with the names?"

"They're traditional Filipino names. We are in a predominantly Filipino neighborhood so most of our patients are of Filipino dissent, much like myself."

"So that's the only connection these two have?" Lizzy wonders. "They're nationality?"

"I'd say so," Dr. Aquino confirms. "I know both families quite well through the community and I don't believe they know each other."

"When did they go missing?" Dean asks while looking at the picture of Doon. What the hell kind of monster goes after the most helpless of all humans? After putting faces to the list of victims, Dean wants this thing's head on a stick. This bitch is going down.

"Laylay disappeared on the seventh, Doon on the ninth."

"And it's been quiet since?" Dean asks.

"Thankfully, yes. We upped the security in the ward, especially in the nursery since that's where they went missing from. No one gets in without proper credentials and all volunteers have been asked not to come in for now."

"Do you have security cameras?" Lizzy asks hopefully.

"Yes, but we checked them. We're pretty sure someone tampered with the videos as there's nothing suspicious on them."

"We're going to need copies of both videos from the seventh and the ninth," Lizzy lets her know. "Also, we're going to need copies of these files."

"Not a problem," Dr. Aquino promises. "Anything I can do, I will. I'll have my secretary get everything you need, full access."

"Wow, thanks," Dean says with surprise. Full access was a rare occurrence for them.

"Don't thank me; just get the asshole that did this."

Lizzy has to smile at the doctor's unexpected use of language. They share the same sentiment.

"We'll do everything we can, I promise you that." Dean knows what he says is the truth and starts to stand, wrapping up the visit.

"Um, before we go," Lizzy starts, getting Dean to sit right back down. "Um, I was wondering if you could help me out with a more personal matter, if that's alright with you."

"Is that normal for Federal Agents to do?" Dr. Aquino challenges with a lifted eyebrow.

"No, not really," Lizzy smiles. "But this is kind of an off the record, personal request."

"What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you could recommend a local OB/GYN," Lizzy explains, knowing she's being far too private for an FBI agent, but oh well. This was the best bet in her circumstance. They never know any good doctors because they are never in one place long enough to find one.

"Hmm, ok," Dr. Aquino says with narrowed eyes. "Is there something  _I_  could help you with?"

Lizzy looks to Dean and shares an expression of hesitance. Neither know what to say at this point. This was new for them.

"I promise full confidentiality," Dr. Aquino assures with Lizzy's clear worry. "You're trying to help me and my families, the least I can do is help you in turn."

"Well, ah…"

"Agent Plant, would you mind stepping outside please?" The doctor clearly has reservations about getting into such a conversation with another person in the room.

"Oh, um, no," Lizzy says while grabbing Dean's forearm to be sure he stays, even though he didn't look in the least like he was going anywhere. "Agent Plant can stay."

"I see," Dr. Aquino smiles slickly as she quickly understands. "Does the bureau know about you two?"

"Not really," Dean answers her. "Which is why we aren't using our insurance for a documented and traceable doctors visit if possible." Good cover if he did say so himself.

"I completely understand," the doctor says with a smile. "What's going on Agent Bonham?"

"Lizzy," she answers, wanting to be on a first name basis with the kind woman. "And this is Dean."

"Flores," the doctor says her own first name to them both.

"Well, ah, two nights ago I miscarried," Lizzy begins in a steady voice that she hopes to maintain.

"I'm so sorry," Flores says with a concerned look.

"Thank you." Lizzy feels Dean take her hand and she smiles over to him quickly. "I found out just a few days before that I was pregnant and then two nights ago I woke up cramping and bleeding."

"Oh good," Flores sighs with relief.

"Excuse me?" Dean asks with the odd reaction.

"I'm sorry if that sounded rude," the doctor apologizes immediately. "It's just, I've been noticing something very weird lately."

"Weird how?" Lizzy wonders.

"Like medical anomaly weird. I work at a free clinic in my time away from here, specializing in families with no insurance. Recently there has been a rash of miscarriages that have been unexplainable."

The doctor looks nervous talking about it.

"How are these miscarriages so different?" Lizzy asks quickly.

"There are no symptoms," she explains. "No bleeding, no pain, no anything. One day these women are pregnant with the sonograms to prove it and the next, it's like they were never pregnant at all. I have never seen anything like it and there's nothing like it in documented history. I checked all US medical databases."

"Whoa," Lizzy says with horror.

"I know. I had to tell these women when they came in for normal, issue free checkups that they were no longer with child. I've seen three woman that this has happened to and a fellow doctor I know very well said she'd found a case herself. I have no idea what the hell is going on."

"Were you going to tell us this?" Dean has to ask suspiciously, thinking it would have been noteworthy enough for the FBI.

"No. I thought it was too damn weird. I did put a call into the CDC, but of course nothing came of that."

"Well it's well noted on our end now." Lizzy squeezes Dean's hand to let her know she's a little freaked out by this new information.

"Good… good," Flores smiles. "So, back to you. What other symptoms have you experienced?"

"Moodiness, headaches, no appetite, sickness… that's about it."

"That's a good thing in this case," Flores explains. "This may have just been a natural occurrence. The percentage of women who experience a miscarriage is about seventeen percent so it's not that uncommon. Was this your first pregnancy?"

"Yes."

"Do you have diabetes or thyroid problems?"

"No."

"Reproductive issues?"

"Not that I know of."

"Smoke, drink, or use of drugs to excess?"

This is where Lizzy pauses. "Well, our job isn't always easy and I may drink a bit more than I should."

"Are you an alcoholic?"

"I wouldn't say that, no." Even if she has joked about being one in the past….

"Did you stop when you knew you were pregnant?"

"Immediately," Lizzy assures. She hadn't had a drink until the night she lost the pregnancy.

"Then this could just have been nature doing what it does." The doctor sends her a reassuring smile. "You did nothing wrong. It could have been an instable pregnancy to begin with, or a chromosomal anomaly that just never had a chance. As long as what you're experiencing right now is what you would during a normal period, maybe a little heavier, you're most likely fine. If however you do try again and you miscarry once more, I would recommend you see a doctor for testing to find the cause."

Lizzy smiles small but when the smile never reaches her eyes the doctor gets concerned. She looks over to Dean and sees him carefully watching Lizzy. He looks so hurt. They were not coping well with this.

"I want you to have these," Dr. Aquino says as she reaches into her desk drawer. She hands over two pamphlets.

Dean just short of scoffs at the offering.

"Sounds lame, I know," Flores says when she catches his expression. "But give them a look through. One is good for just giving you information all about what a miscarriage entails. The other is for a support group. Don't roll your eyes this time." She points at Dean accusingly with a smirk. "I promise, it's a good one. I used to run the once a week meetings until I got promoted here at the hospital."

"Busy lady," Lizzy mentions, impressed by this woman's drive to help.

"Too busy for my own good," she remarks back. "The people who go to these meetings have all been there and a lot of times just hearing how not alone you are in this, sharing stories, makes it easier to get past."

"Thank you," Lizzy tells her. "Really, you've been so helpful."

"Not a problem." Dr. Aquino looks them both over as they stand up to go talk to the secretary to set up everything they need from her and watches them closely. She can tell from the little things, like the way Lizzy's body language always leans towards Dean and the way Dean's eyes always follow her very caringly, that these two were in deep. They had something good, they really cared about each other, and they are mourning this loss.

"I wish you two the best," Flores says to them before they leave. She grabs her business card from off of her desk and holds it out to them. "If you need anything else, for the bureau or otherwise, be sure to give me a call."

"Thanks doc," Dean smiles as he takes the business card from her, knowing this woman could be really handy to know right now for more than one reason.

* * *

The musty smell was enough to knock him on his ass the second he walked through the Alexi Manor's front door. Sam can tell immediately as he looks around at the out of date, faded furniture and torn, worn carpeting that this wasn't the place you move your parents to for the last leg of their lives if you love them. This would be the last place he'd let a family member live out the twilight of their life in.

Just then he feels a weak hand pinch him on the ass. Sam jumps with the very unexpected assault and turns around sharply. The four and a half foot, white haired woman with a walker is looking up at him with a toothless smile. She winks at him and he awkwardly nods and smiles back before heading for the front desk to get away. What the hell is it about old ladies being in love with him?

"Good afternoon," Sam greets the older woman behind the desk. He flashes his badge. "My name is Agent Page. I'm here about the missing persons report."

"Ok," the woman answers flatly without looking up as she picks up the handle of the phone on her desk. She presses a couple numbers and waits. "Hey Judy. I got an agent here about Mr. Cruz." She listens for the answer. "Sure."

Hanging up the phone, she finally looks up to Sam who is smiling down to her, hoping to get her to lighten up. She has quite the grumpy mood from what he's seen so far.

"Have a seat over there," she points to an upholstered bench that has seen much better days. "Judy will be down."

"Thanks," Sam answers with a begrudging smile as he walks to the bench. He drops down onto it and falls a good foot further than he thought he would as the tired cushioning has clearly lost all life it used to have. His knees nearly level to his mid-chest, Sam tries to adjust and find a comfortable way to sit on the busted seat, but is unsuccessful. Eventually he gives up and just sits still, dealing with his discomfort as he waits. He grabs a couple informational pages left on the antique, nicked table in the lobby and laughs as he looks at the pictures of new facilities that are bright, clean, and clearly stock photos.

"Are you the person looking for me?" a rough, clearly smoke-worn voice asks and Sam looks up to see a very wrinkled, middle-aged woman with her hands on her hips.

"Yes," Sam answers as he replaces the informational fliers and struggles hard to get himself back on his feet. "I uh, I'm Agent Page." He holds out his hand and instead of shake it, the woman turns and gestures for him to follow her.

"I assume you're here about Ramos Cruz." Her pace is steady and her back is hunched. Sam follows close behind her as he passes open door after open door of residents. Some are in bed, some in wheel chairs, other just milling around their own dark and unwelcoming rooms.

"That I am," Sam answers, his eyes darting all around the facility. He hates this place. He's put off by its depressive feel already. "What can you tell me about the day he disappeared?"

"It was any other day," she shrugs as Sam gets the distinct feeling that he's inconveniencing her with his presence. "Ramos woke up in a terrible mood just like every other day. He swore at the staff for getting his food wrong, he claimed one of the orderlies was trying to steal his books, and then after lunch, which he threw on the floor for being tasteless, he went down for his usual mid-afternoon nap."

"Sounds like a difficult guy to manage," Sam comments as they take a left into a disheveled office. There is no desk, just a rectangle folding table covered in papers. Judy takes a seat behind it on a metal folding chair as Sam stands by the door. There is nowhere to sit for him, no chairs other than Judy's.

"That man was a thorn in all our sides," she wearily tells him. He takes a second to really look at her and starts to think that maybe she wasn't an angry or off putting person after all. Maybe she's just worn from her job.

"What happened after his nap?"

"Nothing. He was gone." Judy rifles through the papers and once more almost ignores Sam.

"Did you search the building?"

"Of course," she sighs out. "Checked everywhere. All his favorite hiding spots as he was known to disappear. Even checked the basement that had been padlocked shut. He just vanished."

"Could he have maybe walked out the door?" Sam has to ask.

"We keep everything locked down for our dementia patients," she admits while pausing her paper shuffling. She looks up at him with a very weary smile. "This has been a hell of a week. I'm sorry for my attitude. Let me get you somewhere to sit…"

"No, I'm fine," Sam says stepping forward with his hand out to stop her. "It seems this whole thing has put you under a lot of stress."

"Putting it lightly," Judy laments. "This disappearance, along with the other two in the area, has had my phone ringing off the hook. Media attention is focused on our home and now the state officials have their eyes on us. Now, clearly…" she sweeps a hand around the around the room to call attention to her crumbling surroundings. "We have not received enough funding to keep this place in tip top shape. The state couldn't give a crap and are coming to inspect soon so our ass is on the line. These people have no families and nowhere else to go so I can't afford for this place to go under. I have no idea where they'll live if this place gets shut down."

She scrubs her hands down her face and Sam begins to feel quite bad for the overtaxed woman.

"Why don't I get out of your hair then," Sam offers. "You don't need the hassle. I'll give Mr. Cruz's room a quick once over and if you have that wooden carving still I'd like to see it…"

"You're kidding, right?" Judy looks at him with annoyed disbelief.

"No," Sam draws out with confusion. "The report said that there was a wooden carving left behind in the likeness of Mr. Cruz."

"Then I'm gonna assume that whoever put together that report for you didn't do his research very well at all."

"What do you mean?" Sam questions while completely lost.

"I mean there was no carving left behind," Judy rolls her eyes. "Some newspaper jockey looking for a front page break added that detail in himself. It's all a lie created to get attention."

"Huh," Sam says aloud. "Why would someone make such a blatant lie like that up? And why such a specific detail?"

"Couldn't tell you, but I know who wrote it," Judy answers, grabbing a newspaper from the bottom of a stack of papers. "Jose Villanueva. Thanks to him I haven't been off of the phone for days. You want answers, you need to ask this embellishing ass."

"You know, I might just do that," Sam tells her while taking up the paper, upset by the man already for being so flagrantly untruthful. "Could I still check out Mr. Cruz's room?"

"Be my guest. Same hall we came down, third door on the right."

"I'm sorry to have taken up you're time when you're so busy," Sam says, doing his best to stay on this woman's good side. "I'll be in touch if I have any more questions."

Just then the phone rings and Judy sighs loudly.

"I'll let you get to it," Sam says, quickly slipping out of the office and heading to Mr. Cruz's room.

* * *

 


	9. A Vintage Porn Lover and Tommy-Boy

* * *

"I think we should go to this," Lizzy says to Dean as they walk down the bright white hospital hallway. She's reading over the pamphlet for the support group that Doctor Aquino gave them as they go.

"Aw, I don't want to go to that," Dean complains instantly. "People sharing their feelings and crying and expecting you to talk to them about personal stuff and hugging… sounds like my biggest freakin' nightmare."

"Dude, I'd rather sit through fucking Fever Pitch again than go to this," Lizzy assures him, and it's the truth. This sounded awful. "I hate that movie. So fucking lame. Way to take the Sox winning the World Series for the first time in nearly a century and turn it into the worst fucking chick flick ever. I swear if I ever meet Drew Barrymore I'm gonna slug her right in the face just based on principle."

"Hey, focus," Dean calls her back to the issue at hand. "Then tell me why the  _hell_  we would go to that?"

"To find some of the women who've had those strange, symptom free miscarriages," Lizzy tells him in a matter-of-fact tone. "Maybe we can talk to some of them if we go, get some info out of them about what might have happened. I got a feeling these things are all related."

"Yeah, I'm getting that feeling too," Dean answers as they get close to the door for the nursery. "Whatever is screwing with this town is doing one bang up job of it. It's like this thing wants to…"

He stops short when he realizes he doesn't hear Lizzy's heels clicking on the tiles next to him anymore. When he turns around he sees her looking through a viewing window. The softened expression she wears and the longing that's hidden deep in it is clear as day. Shit.

Walking over to her, Dean stands at her side and looks in. He sees the two rows of small, clear plastic beds, each holding a newborn. Some have on pink knit hats, others blue, and all are bundled tightly in warm, soft blankets. They all look so tiny, so innocent, and so damn vulnerable.

"Why would anything want to hurt them?" Lizzy quietly asks with her arms crossed over her chest while shaking her head.

"I couldn't begin to understand it," Dean responds, slipping his arm around her frame.

"They're so small and helpless…. They've never even had a chance to do anything wrong yet." Lizzy turns into his side and brings her arms around his middle with the heaviest sigh he's ever heard from her.

Dean looks down to her with concern. She's worried about their safety of course but it's much, much more than that. Looking into this viewing window is a living reminder of what could have been for them and with their loss so fresh and recent, Dean doesn't want her to have to go in there. It'd be way too painful for her, he knows it.

"I'm gonna go check out the room, ok?" he says to her calmly. "You should probably head back and grab everything from Flores' secretary. She'll have it ready soon."

This is where normally Lizzy would tell him to bite her and stubbornly head into the room first. She hated being weak in any way and showing it. But this is different. She knows he's trying to help her avoid something that might hurt so much to go through and he's absolutely right. She really shouldn't go in there. Not right now.

"Ok," Lizzy answers quietly with a nod and kisses him on the cheek. "Thanks, Hot Shot." Giving one last look in through the viewing room, her heart heavy as she bites back to emotions, Lizzy makes her way back to Dr. Aquino's office.

* * *

Ramos' room can be best labeled as gross Sam decides as he walks into the missing man's dwellings. The bed, now stripped of its bedding, is stained and lumpy. The large, floor length curtains framing the one window in the room are dusty and faded and the smell… oh, the smell. Sam is beginning to think Ramos has an issue with bladder control in his later years.

Carefully poking around the room, Sam doesn't find many personal effects left in it. Just an old, weathered bible, a crossword book, and a crucifix on the wall above his bed. Sam then notices the open closet and walks to it. Pushing the sliding door open the rest of the way, the inside is empty save for the few wire hangers left hanging on the bar across the small area and a tiny safe sitting on the floor. Picking up the square safe, he's surprised by its heft. The safe is old, made of heavy metal. It's the real deal and Sam thinks he could get a pretty penny for it at an antique dealers. Come to think of it they have been a little low on cash lately…

"Ramos always was one paranoid son of a bitch," the dark haired, rotund man now standing in the doorway comments, making Sam whip his head in the newcomer's direction. "Thought for sure that we were all out to steal from him but honestly, he had nothing worth taking if you ask me."

"He's starting to sound like quite the character the more I learn about him," Sam remarks to the man. "Agent Page." He holds out his hand in greeting.

"Agent!?" the man with distinct Filipino features responds with surprise. "Wow, didn't think this missing person case was so big."

"It might be," Sam keeps it simple.

"I'm Jason, by the way," he responds, shaking Sam's hand.

"You knew Ramos well?"

"Of course," Jason responds sadly. "He told me I was out to get him every day I volunteered here. Quite the character indeed."

"Any idea what he kept in here?" Sam asks while placing the safe on the bare bed and crouching down until he's eye level with it.

"Not a clue, but he was careful to keep it away from others," Jason explains. "Said it was really valuable. And that we were all gonna take it. Did I mention he was pretty insane?"

"Huh." Sam looks the numbered knob over and knows he can crack it. Looking a Jason briefly, he decides that the volunteer is harmless enough and he leans in. His ear close to the lock mechanism, Sam closes his eyes and listens as he turns the knob. Jason, watching silently for the two minutes it takes for the hunter to get the lock to click open, huffs with surprise.

"Holy crap," Jason says, floored by the display. "They teach you that at the academy or something?"

"Or something," Sam smirks while receiving a very curious and, oddly enough, very frightened expression from Jason suddenly. "Alright Ramos… what were you hiding away in here?"

Opening the old metal safe door with a squeal, Sam look inside with shock.

"Seriously?" he complains as he pulls out a small stack of magazines. "This is what he was guarding with his life? Playboys?"

"Whoa," Jason says, impressed. "Those are old… like collector's items old."

Sam takes a quick look at the covers. 1959, 1962…

"Holy hell!" Jason shouts as he pulls one from the stack. "1953 Marilyn Monroe cover! This is the first issue ever put out." He leafs through the magazine with wonder while Sam stands at his side, growing increasingly uncomfortable with Jason's porn-leering in such close proximity to him.

"Um, you really seem to be enjoying that," he remarks.

"The human body is just so captivating. It's beautiful, really," Jason explains while staring at an early picture of Marilyn with too much happiness before looking up to Sam. "Not always, of course," he gestures to his own out of shape physique.

"Right," Sam comments while gathering up the stack of ten or so old magazines. "Uh, I think I'm good here…"

"Do you mind if I keep this one?" Jason suddenly questions the agent. "It's got to be worth a ton and honestly, I'm a huge Marilyn fan. Curvy chicks are my style, man." He lands a weak elbow into Sam's side while wagging his eyebrows.

"Knock yourself out," Sam tells him, rushing to get out of the home after finding nothing helpful. He tucks the magazines into his jacket as he heads out the door, to save himself the disgusted looks he'd get for carrying porn around.

"Thanks, man!" Jason shouts after him, never peeling his eyes off the glossy pages.

* * *

Awkward. Holy fucking awkward. Dean's pretty sure he's never been in a more uncomfortable situation in his life and considering what his life has looked like that's saying a whole lot.

"Relax, agent," the maternity ward nurse says with a smile when she sees his suddenly stiff behavior once inside the nursery. "They're not gonna bite. They don't even have teeth yet."

Dean smiles and laughs it off but he doesn't relax at all. The nurse that escorted him into the nursery, as no one but hospital officials are allowed in unattended, starts doing her usual work checking on the infants in their beds. One of them begins to cry and Dean peers at the tiny human making more noise than he could have ever assumed something so small could make. He doesn't really have much experience with babies, the last one he dealt with being Sam and that was twenty-five years ago.

"Oh, you're alright," the nurse coos as she picks up the little boy, cradling him close. "So much noise, my goodness."

Trying his best to ignore the nurse and screaming baby, Dean surveys the room. Two cameras are perched in two opposing corners of the room and judging by the angles they are aimed they should cover the entire room or close to it. Good. Now he's glad Dr. Aquino is forking copies over.

"You're just hungry, huh?" he hears the nurse say to the crying infant. "Well, let's fix that."

Looking at the two doors in the room he sees that they are locked at all times, needing a keycard to open them.

"Has this keycard system been in place for a long time?" Dean wonders to the nurse.

"As long as I've been here," she smiles back. "And I've been here for years. We all have one, it's part of our I.D.s, see?" She points to her badge clipped to the bottom hem of her scrubs. "I hate to ask, but you mind holding him for a second?"

Dean's eyes blow wide as he looks at her with alarm. "What!?"

"I need to put together his food and I need two hands to do that…" She doesn't wait for an answer to her question and walks to Dean, dropping the crying boy into his unready arms. "He does better when someone is holding him and it's been a while since he's had that kind of contact."

"Oh, no, I don't…" Dean stutters through but before he knows it the infant is in his hands.

"I'll work fast so he won't be howling at you for long," she grins and walks to a counter along the back wall. "His mom's been a bit out of it after her C-section surgery so we get to feed the little guy in here, which is fine by me. He just needs a little human contact here and there, that's all."

"Why doesn't dad come down and do it?"

"There is no dad," she sadly informs him, making Deans heart bleed a little for the poor little guy. Having a missing parent is tough. He'd know.

He looks down at the continually crying baby in his arms with wonder. The kid couldn't weigh much more than six pounds and he's so small it seems impossible. His little face is angry as his tiny voice screams and suddenly Dean wants to do anything he can to make it better for the kid. He hates seeing him like this even if they're just met. "Come on, dude. Suck it up. You gotta be a man about this."

"You have any of your own?"

"Huh?" he asks, not having heard what the nurse said over the cries. She turns around and grins wide.

"I'm gonna say no," she laughs with his overly ridged posture. "No kids."

"No," Dean grins back. "Haven't even held a baby this small since my brother was born."

"Long time ago?"

"He's like a half foot taller than me now."

"Then I'd say it's definitely been a while," she laughs again, walking his way with a small bottle in her hand. "It's like riding a bike, really. It all comes back to you. You want to do the honors, agent?" She hold the bottle in his direction and waits.

Shit. Should he? Is that weird? He doesn't even know this kid and he's definitely not his father. But the poor dude doesn't even have a father there for him. This is weird, right?

"You're very trusting," Dean wearily says to her. "Especially with what's been going on around here."

"You're a government agent investigating the issue at hand," the nurse says to him. "If we can't trust you, who can we trust?" She holds out the bottle a little closer to him.

Swallowing hard with another quick pause of contemplation, he hesitantly takes the bottle.

"Just give him a second to adjust and latch on. He's still young and learning after all."

Looking down to the little infant still crying, maybe even louder than before, Dean goes for it. What the hell, right? The kid is already in his arms anyways. After a full minute of the hunter's waning patience, the baby starts to eat.

"No shit," Dean whisper to himself as he watches. He vaguely remembers feeding Sam when he was a baby, but it wasn't an often thing and he was never allowed to feed him when he was this small. Watching with total awe, Dean smiles. "There you go, dude."

"He's eating?" the nurse wonders.

"Oh yeah, like a freakin' champ," he grins out, never taking his eyes off of the baby. "I don't even think  _I_  eat this fast."

"He has to fuel up for all that sleeping and pooping he's got to do," the nurse laughs back.

After a short time the newborn finishes his meal. Dean watches as he just lays in his arm contented and looks around the room, eyes searching around though never able to focus on anything.

"What's his name?" Dean wonders over to the nurse, wanting to know what to call his new friend.

"That is Thomas."

"Well alright Tommy Boy," Dean says down to the now content baby. "I'm Dean. It's nice to meet you."

Dean takes one of Thomas' small hands that is just peeking out of the top of the blanket bundling him and shakes it with just his index finger once the infant has a weak and tiny grip on it.

"Usually that little bugger is a mover and a shaker," the nurse tells Dean while walking over to check on him. "He must like you to stay still for so long."

"That's good," Dean smiles, the moment getting more and more comfortable for him. "He seems like a good guy."

"He is. And now all he needs is to have his diaper changed…"

"And that's where I make my exit," Dean huffs as he hastily hands Thomas back to the nurse.

"That's what I figured," she laughs right back.

"I think I'm all set in here," Dean tells her as he gives the room one last once over. Nothing under the counters or machinery. Nothing left out in the open. Nothing at all to see. The place was secure and spotless, and now he has to wonder if this was an inside job.

"Who has access to this room?" he asks while heading to the door.

"Just the maternity ward doctors and nurses," she answers while unbundling Thomas on the back counter of the room. "Oh, and volunteers but I guess that's a thing in the past now. Shame really. We could always use the extra set of hands, as you just found out."

"When were volunteers taken off the list of people granted access?"

"Right after Doon disappeared," she says heavily.

"Ok," Dean says quietly. He glances down at Thomas as he kicks his little legs once they're uncovered. What a cool kid, he has to think to himself. Fucking knows how to get what he wants already. Dean appreciates his style. "Thanks for the help."

"Right back at you, agent. Come by anytime!"

Walking out the door and down the hall, Dean heads back to Dr. Aquino's office. A list of people who have access to the nursery would be more than handy right now.

As he passes by the viewing window on his way back, he pauses for just a couple seconds, feeling an odd pull in his heart. He's not a baby kind of guy as it is, the little things freaking him out with how fragile and small they are. But being in there wasn't half as bad as he assumed it would. He actually didn't suck with Thomas either, something that surprised him a bit.

Damn, maybe he shouldn't have gone in there himself.

* * *

 


	10. Anna Freakin' Nichole

* * *

"Decently successful day for once," Dean comments once the three hunters have gone over their findings from the day back at their motel.

"On your end maybe," Sam mentions while reading through the list of people who have card access to the nursery. "I, on the other hand, didn't come across too much."

"Dude, you got the name of the guy spreading false info on the missing elderly people. That's pretty damn important," Lizzy comments while reading over the partially false article once more on her laptop.

"That's true. And I came across these." It's then that Sam plops down the stack of Playboys he took from Ramos' safe onto the table he and Dean are seated at. "I  _was_  pretty productive, wasn't I?" He grins as he watches Dean's reaction.

"What!?" Dean lights up and reaches for the pile instantly.

"Where the  _hell_  did you find those," Lizzy asks in a laugh.

"Ramos was a collector," Sam answers. "I found them in an old iron safe he had. He was paranoid that people were trying to take them from him." He then reaches into the middle of the pile across the table and pulls out one volume in particular before dropping onto the top of the stack. He doesn't say anything, just smiles at Dean wide.

"No way!" Dean stares at the issue with shock.

"What?" Lizzy has to know as the two are clearly sharing a moment over porn which is definitely out of the ordinary for them.

"Anna Nicole," Dean says with wide eyes and pure glee on his face. Lizzy is pretty sure that's the face he would have had as a kid on Christmas morning.

"Ok…" she responds, not understanding.

"It's Anna freakin' Nicole," Dean repeats while opening the issue. Lizzy looks to Sam for an explanation now that she's sure Dean won't be providing one.

"It's the issue dad kept in his duffle at all times," Sam smiles with the memory. "Let's just say we, ah, both know this issue from cover to cover." He scratches the back of his head with slight embarrassment.

"God damn she was hot, wasn't she?" Dean mutters while turning the magazine sideways to study the centerfold he hasn't laid eyes on in so long. "I couldn't begin to count the amount of times I must have jerked it to this very picture in the bathroom of motels all over this country."

"Lovely," Lizzy laughs, loving witnessing the raunchy yet somehow sweet stroll down memory lane.

"First naked woman I ever saw," Sam comments.

"Oh, we are so keeping this," Dean comments while still leafing through the pages.

"Well, while you two continue to get your rocks off, I'm gonna head out." Lizzy stands up off the bed, suit still on, and closes her computer.

"Where you going?" Dean asks, looking to her with wonder.

"I have a couple questions for our dishonest journalist. I know where we can find him on a Sunday afternoon such as this."

"You do?" Sam says with surprise.

"How did you figure that out?" Dean asks with narrowed eyes.

"Made a call to his office when I ran out to the car a few minutes ago and got his assistant."

"And someone just told you were he is right now… on a day off?" Sam skeptically asks her.

"Sam-I-Am, if I say the right things and use the right tone of voice I can get anyone to tell me anything… even over the phone." She smirks and Dean just shakes his head no while at a loss. Sometimes she's so good he worries about how it is exactly that she pulls these kinds of things off.

"Where is he?" Sam wonders with wide eyes.

"Sports bar about ten blocks from here," Lizzy says. "His assistant said he goes there every Sunday and holes up with his laptop in the corner booth while he gets drunk."

"Hell of a way to spend a Sunday," Dean remarks. "Alone at a bar? With a laptop? I bet this guy isn't socially awkward at all."

"Well, I'm willing to find out if he is or not right now," Lizzy says as she pulls her suit jacket back on.

"I'll go with you," Sam offers immediately as Lizzy pops her heels back on despite her feet killing from being in them all day.

"You sure you want to head back out, not take it easy?" Dean asks Lizzy.

"Oh yeah. The more I'm out and busy the less my brain can take over and think about… things."

"Alright," Dean nods his understanding though worries she's taking on too much too soon. "I'm gonna stay here and check out these security videos then."

"Good luck with that," Lizzy says in jest, knowing how boring watching security footage can be. She gets too antsy form it usually and has to take breaks and do something to get through.

"Yeah, thanks," Dean says back lowly as Sam and Lizzy head out the door.

* * *

"That must be him," Lizzy says to Sam as she points to the back corner of the bar at a man with his face in a laptop. They start to head his way as Lizzy shifts her weight on her feet. "Thank God we found him tonight. I really wasn't looking forward to wearing this fucking suit again tomorrow. My feet kill."

"Aren't women supposed to be able to wear those things without complaining?" Sam nods down to her shiny, patent leather heels.

"Yeah, fucking crazy ones who like to impose self-inflicted torture. I've been wearing boots nonstop for so long now that I can't hack this anymore." Lizzy keeps walking through the pain without showing an ounce of discomfort in her gate.

"Isn't it better to look good than to feel good though?" Sam asks her with a smile.

"So says the  _man_  who made the first pair of pumps," Lizzy grumbles.

Sam huffs a quick laugh as they approach the journalist's booth. Once they're standing in front of his table, Sam clears his throat to get the man's attention. Looking up at the two suited people in front of him, Jose looks a little nervous suddenly.

"Mr. Villanueva?" Lizzy asks to confirm that he is actually who they are looking for.

"Yes."

"I'm Agent Bonham, this is Agent Page." Insert usual badge flash from both hunters. "Mind if we sit down and chat for a minute?"

"I'm thinking I don't have much of a choice." Jose shrugs and the hunters slide into the booth. "What's this about?"

"It's about your front page article on the missing elderly people." Sam stares him down, knowing that Jose is well aware of why they are there to talk to him.

"What about it?" Jose asks as he closes his laptop and takes a big gulp from his pint.

"Well, let's just say we found some inaccuracies with your information." Lizzy stares at him with a lifted eyebrow, challenging the stranger to come clean.

"A little extra intrigue never hurt anyone," Jose claims with an edge. "Our paper has been sinking, just like all periodicals lately. Print is nearly dead so sue me for trying to get people to buy a damn newspaper." His angry and annoyed attitude surprises both hunters.

"Ah yes, but in the process of trying to drum up some business you mislead a couple of FBI agents who have much better things to do with their time than check up on bunk newspaper reports," Lizzy says with a little anger.

"Shouldn't your department do a better job with their research then?" Jose fights back. "Maybe fact check before sending their people out?"

"Listen smartass…"

Sam holds a hand out to Lizzy, preemptively stopping her remark, to make sure she keeps her fire for Jose's flippant attitude in check.

"Look, Jose, we just want to know why you put such a specific detail into the article." Sam tries a new approach. The journalist is definitely not going to be intimidated by them so maybe they need to take it easy and befriend the guy. "It's kind of a strange thing to just pop in there."

"I don't know," Jose honestly answers. "I just remember my grandmother mentioning shit about the boogeyman coming to get bad people and leaving carvings of them behind when I was just a kid. It was some Filipino ghost story or something from back in the old days."

"Boogey man, huh?" Sam wonders aloud. Filipino lore. It's somewhere to start.

"Yeah, but then again she was a little batshit crazy by the time I was just five, so she might have been making it up all together."

"Well, thanks for nothing Jose," Lizzy says as she stands up. "I'll let you continue drinking while writing you're next full of shit article."

"Thanks, doll. You've been sweet," Jose caustically returns while opening his laptop again. Sam and Lizzy start to leave the bar, seeing as the guy was barely helpful and an almost complete waste of time, when Lizzy stops short.

"Whoa," Sam says, stumbling into her. "What?"

"The Pats are playing," Lizzy says, looking up at the big screen over the bar. "Shit, I forgot!  _And_  they're playing the Jets!? Fucking A, we are  _so_  staying."

Lizzy sits down right away at a bar stood and settles in, raising her hand and motioning for the bartender to head her way.

"Uh, we're in the middle of a case," Sam reminds her, walking to stand at her side.

"A case that's at a dead end for now," she returns as the bartender heads her way.

"But we have a lead to check on."

"So we'll text Dean to do it. He can check out the Filipino lore himself." Lizzy is already pulling her phone out of her blazer as Sam starts to think that he won't win this one, as per usual with Lizzy.

Sam sits at the stool to her right and looks over at her, using his expression to inquire about an explanation.

"Don't look at me like that," she quickly says before the bartender asks for her order. "Two beers please."

"No problem," the bartender returns and heads off to get them their drinks.

"Then don't dodge a hunt like this and I won't," Sam responds quickly.

"Not dodging a hunt, dude. I just haven't watched a Pat's game all season," Lizzy tells him.

"It's only week two!" Sam laughs with her dramatics.

"And I missed the season opener!" Lizzy returns quickly. "This is what I love to do. No matter what we were in the middle of, Louie and I always took time on Sundays to watch the game. It's one of the few things we still had left once we started hunting that could keep us in the real world. And damn it, I fucking love my Patriots, you know that. You gotta give me this, Sam. It's been a shitty ass week."

Sam contemplates what she asks of him as two beers are plopped down in front of them. Lizzy starts typing out a text and suddenly he feels like he might not have much of a choice. She's looking pretty comfy in her bar stool.

"Alright," Sam gives in as he grabs his pint glass and takes a seat next to her. "But only this game and then we head back and help Dean. No Sunday Night Football."

"Aw, see? There is a little fun guy buried in there somewhere."

"Don't be a bitch," Sam smiles and takes a big sip. He watches the big screen TV for one play and makes a face. "I think I've been hanging out with you for too long."

"Why do you say that?" she looks up from her phone.

"Because I hate the fucking Jets now as much as you do. It's like a learned behavior."

"That'a boy. Knew you'd see the light sooner or later," Lizzy smiles as she pushes send.

_Hey Hot Shot. Still out for a bit. Will bring dinner back. Check Filipino lore for creature that takes old people and babies!_

* * *

Dean pauses the nursery footage when his phone beeps. Pulling his cell out of his back pocket, he checks the message.

_Hey Hot Shot. Still out for a bit. Will bring dinner back. Check Filipino lore for creature that takes old people and babies!_

"Filipino lore?" Dean grumbles to himself. Weird, but at least they have a lead of some kind.

The security footage was a waste of time he now realizes. Dr. Aquino was right, something definitely tampered with it. The time signature in the bottom corner jumped a full ten minutes without warning around three in the morning the day Laylay disappeared. The same thing happened at eleven at night the day after Doon was born. Other than some creative editing, something that anything with half a brain could pull off, there were no other helpful hints in the video. Once more, however, Dean has to seriously consider that whatever is doing this is linked to the hospital. Someone on the inside has to be responsible. He's glad they have that list of names with access to the nursery now.

He wonders what Sam and Lizzy are following up on as he closes the video on Sam's laptop. Those two only had questioning that journalist on the docket for the night so now he hopes they found something else to look into.

With the list of hospital workers on one side and list of possible creatures responsible for the disappearances on the other, Dean sighs loudly. When did he become research bitch? It all happened so fast that he hates how stuck he is with the task. Plus, Sam's so much faster at this than he is. He always knows right where to look. Dean constantly feels a little lost when doing research, even if he would never admitted that aloud… ever. The whole thing makes him feel stifled and sedentary and, more importantly, bored out of his fucking skull.

Dean sighs heavily. He'd rather be drinking, or kicking some ass, or maybe even finding some alone time with Lizzy. It's been nearly a week, a  _week_ , and he's starting to feel like a monk or something. He'll be patient with her though, knowing sex will probably be a little scary for her when they get back to it. That is, after all, what got them into this mess in the first place. Hell, he's a little bit hesitant himself. Nothing he can't get past if he finds himself horny enough, of course.

Opening a browser on the computer, Dean gets inspired. He types in a very familiar URL address with glee. He may just have a way to hold off until Lizzy's ready after all.

"Well hello ladies," Dean smirks while typing in his password. The main screen of pops up. A slick smile spreads across his face. "Long time, no see."

No matter how much action he gets from Lizzy, he still has his little kinks that she just can't quite fulfill. This is the big one.

"One of these days I'm getting L into a kimono…"

* * *

 


	11. The Dirty Talking Slut and The Deadly Tongue

* * *

"You got to be fucking kidding me!" Lizzy shouts at the screen with anger. "Holding!? Are you fucking blind!?"

Sam huffs a laugh as he starts to think that maybe they've been drinking a little too much. He's starting to feel a bit foggy.

"Fucking refs," Lizzy grumbles with another sip from her fourth beer… or is it her fifth… who knows really.

"I forgot how obsessed you are with football," Sam remarks with Lizzy's growing anger at what she views as the third bad call against her team.

"Fall, dude. There's nothing better," Lizzy says with love. "Granted, fall in Los Angeles really isn't the same as at home, but still. Football, crisp air, apple pie… shit, it's amazing. Yes! I'll take it!" Lizzy cheers in a partially happy manner to the screen. She'd much rather have seen a touchdown but oh well. A field goal still puts points on the board. "Bryce! Two more!"

"What?" Sam asks in a slight panic. "That wasn't even a touchdown."

"I said we do a shot every time the Pats scored, not every touchdown," Lizzy points at him, reminding him of the rules.

"Jesus, I'm gonna be tanked."

"Hey, them's the rules, big guy! This is what Lou and I used to do, so buck up buckaroo!"

The bartender pours two more shots and slides them over.

"Thanks dude!" Lizzy smiles and hands Sam one of the glasses. "Hey, at least I didn't pick tequila, right?"

"Thank God," Sam agrees as they clink shot glasses and down the whiskey in them. "Also, thank God we walked here." He makes a patented whiskey face.

"No shit, huh?" Lizzy laughs. "And by the way, drinks are on me today." Lizzy grins wide and holds up a brand new credit card for Sam to see.

"Lita Ford?" Sam smiles wide at the name on the card. "Really?"

"Sure as shit. I'm in this life for good by now, right? It's about time I popped my credit fraud cherry."

"Well, yeah, but Dean and I have so much fraud to our names that it's fine. We're good with taking the hit and leaving you out of it, especially since in the eyes of the law we're, you know… dead."

"Call it my own financial freedom then," Lizzy explains. "Got my laptop with it and now I'm gonna cover our Sunday Funday with it."

"You're crazy," Sam responds, but grins all the while.

"Mm, love that man," Lizzy completely changes the subject when she gets a great shot of Tom Brady on the sidelines. "Look at the ass on him."

"I'd rather not," Sam responds, downing more beer.

"Oh come on! That man is fine. You can't tell me you don't know that just by looking at him. Be secure in your manhood, Sam!"

"I'm secure enough, thanks."

"Then admit it."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"And what do you get outta that? My embarrassment?"

"Kinda," Lizzy admits with a mischievous grin. "But that's was half of the fun of hanging out with Lou, especially on Sundays when we'd take time off. I never get to be like that anymore, you know? All I have are dudes around me. I miss talking shop with her."

"Shop?" Sam questions, almost afraid of what  _shop_  means for her and her sister.

"Yeah, shop. Hot boys, clothes, football, our families and memories, guns we want to get, sex… Oh I miss talking sex with her the most."

"Why is that?"

"Because she was awesome! Louie had zero shame whatsoever. She told me everything and anything, as did I. Some of our most interesting conversations were centered on sex."

"She told you everything, huh?" Sam nervously wonders as he takes a large gulp of his beer.

The Cheshire cat grin that slowly makes its way across Lizzy's face unnerves him even more.

"Pretty much," Lizzy answers shortly and looks back to the screen, letting Sam sit in his paranoia for a little longer.

"She ever, you know… say anything? About me?"

"Of course!"

"Jesus Christ," Sam says with his eyes closed. Not cool Lou, not cool.

"Hey, she knew all about Dean and his little kinks from me, so why shouldn't I know yours?"

"Oh no," Sam complains with his palms pressed to his eyes.

"Oh yes," Lizzy laughs right back. "Trust me, you're nothing compared to your brother from what she told me so relax."

"I'd hope not," Sam fights back. "Dean's ridiculous. And that doesn't make me feel any better."

"You really need to stop buying your panties in such a small size. They're so tight they're cutting off your circulation and making you grumpy."

"That's cute, Lizzy," Sam remarks. "Keep it up."

"Calm down, ok? I highly doubt you two never discussed anything about Louie and I behind closed doors."

"Well Dean never keeps his trap shut so I might know some stuff about you," Sam admits.

"Ha! I knew it!" Lizzy laughs hardily. "Now you gotta tell me!"

"No way," Sam nearly shouts with how uncomfortable this conversation has gotten.

"Wow, half drunk and you still won't get that stick outta your ass," Lizzy disses.

"Stop telling me I have a stick in my ass…."

"Then lighten up and pull out that stick in your ass, Sam!" Lizzy laughs once more and Sam's done with the insults. He has plenty of ammo for this conversation so if she really wants to go there then he will go there.

"Ok. Fine. I can play this game," Sam smirks and sips his beer. "So I hear you have quite a knack for using the English language creatively."

Lizzy's face goes serious for a second as she looks at him with narrowed eyes. "Go on."

"Apparently you dirty talk like a pro."

"Oh no. I'm polite and sweet as pie between the sheets," she jokes, knowing he's trying to rattle her cage a little with what he knows.

"Not from what Dean's said."

"Yeah, ok you got me. My favorite medium to work in is filth sometimes… only when the mood strikes of course."

"From what he's told me, you seriously need to wash your mouth out with soap."

"Ooh, maybe I should make Dean do that to me next time," Lizzy smiles wide with a glint in her eye at the suggestion and looks back to the TV. "See, I knew you two talked to each other."

"No. Like I said, Dean talks and I have no choice but to listen."

"Ha, that sucks."

"Tell me about it."

"So I guess it's my turn," Lizzy tries to think back on what Lou told her.

"Doesn't have to be your turn," Sam huffs.

"Oh yes it does. Now, if I recall correctly, the one and only Mr. Samuel Winchester has quite the thing for, let's say, going out to eat." The silence from him paired with the rosy color creeping across his face makes Lizzy bust a gut right then and there.

"That's not  _that_  weird," Sam shakes his head and guzzles the last of his beer.

"Um, normally no it's not weird for a guy to do that. But it  _is_  weird if you never,  _ever_  have sex before getting a girl off with your mouth first," Lizzy tell him with a big smile. "I mean, please don't get me wrong here. I don't know too many women who would be upset with you on that…"

"Lou sure didn't mind," Sam quips with an arched eyebrow.

"I'm sure she didn't!" Lizzy giggles. "But she said you did that every time you guys hooked up so I gotta know… is that, like, a requirement? Do you have to, like seriously  _have_  to, do that before you bang a girl every single time or is it just a coincidence?"

"Lou and I didn't really hook up all that much before she…" Sam stops himself. "But, uh, honestly, I just like doing it.  _Really_  like doing it." Sam shrugs trying to brush off the moment.

"But why?" Lizzy pries even further, knowing she's pushing him most likely too far for his own comfort. "What is it about working out that tongue of yours that gets you off so much?"

"Um, I'm not sure," Sam truthfully wonders as he thinks about it. "I never really thought about it. It's just… fun, I think. It's a turn on for me. I like seeing women enjoy themselves like that."

"Well I must commend you on that, my friend," Lizzy says with a pat on his shoulder. "That is one hell of an excellent sexual quirk to have."

"Why thank you," Sam smiles to her as a fresh beer is put in front of him. Their bartender is getting used to them now and is definitely angling for a good tip by keeping the booze coming.

"No, let me thank  _you_  on behalf of the whole female race, especially since Lou raved about your skills," Lizzy looks at Sam with a happy smile and tips her glass to him. "Man it feels good to talk like this again. I haven't had anyone to talk to like a friend for so damn long." She takes down a big gulp.

"What about Dean?" Sam tries to excuse.

"Yeah, we talk but he's Dean, you know? He's different than a friend. I mean he's like the best friend I could ask for, but it isn't like Louie. He's my dude and that's a whole different thing."

Sam nods understandingly at what she says. It does make sense.

"And right now, lord knows I could use my best friend back." She really could.

"Well, I don't think I've ever had a real friend besides Dean my whole life," Sam comments after he thinks about it. "Never had friends growing up because we always moved. All I had was my brother. Had a couple people back in Stanford, but that's been gone for years now."

"Well then, I guess we'll just have to settle for each other from now on," Lizzy grins while raising her glass to him. They cheers and sip their beers. "And I'm glad I can talk to you like this again… now that the whole, uh, attraction thing is done."

Sam nods once more with her words. He did find a way to stop looking at Lizzy in the wrong light. For a while there he got his emotions so fucked up that he was finding himself attracted to her, even wanting her. Luckily that's a thing of the past.

"That  _is_  done, right?" Lizzy further wonders. Sam was a vault usually and she never tried to press the issue with him too much. She knows he held a lot of guilt and embarrassment over it also.

"Oh, yeah. It's done."

"Good."

They watch the game in silence for a little bit, drinking their beers and enjoying each other's company. Finally they are in a good place. They were the friends they should have been all along. No weirdo attractions, no distrust or secrets… just good friends.

"I have more you know," Sam quietly says, feeling the buzz of the alcohol making it easier to talk to Lizzy like this. Maybe she's right. He does need to lighten up. And it does feel damn good to converse with someone not named Dean for once.

"More what?" Lizzy wonders, her booze addled brain a little lost for a moment.

"Shut the fuck up, you little slut," Sam says in a demanding tone and Lizzy's eye blow wide. Fucking Dean and his big fucking mouth. He told Sam about that. Sam starts laughing his ass off with her very surprised reaction. "Lizzy, I swear I never pegged you as a chick who'd like to be a little degraded now and then. Never in a million years."

"You know they say that people are the exact opposite of their personalities when in bed," Lizzy informs him. "That's why I like to sometimes, um, get told what to do I guess and you are not the strictly sensitive, love-making type people most likely assume that you are."

Sam considers this theory. "Yeah, you might be right there."

* * *

Sitting back against the headboard of his bed, remote in one hand and beer in the other, he can hear Lizzy giggling outside the door.

"What the fuck?" Dean quietly says to himself as the door unlocks.

"No fucking way, dude!" Lizzy laughs out as she stumbles through the door.

"I swear!" Sam answers with a big, dumb smile as he follows her in. "That's what she told me."

"There's no way that chick said that… hi baby!" Lizzy loudly greets as she sees Dean lounging.

"The hell have you guys been?" Dean asks as he sits up tall and watches them walk in unsteady on their feet. "Are you two drunk?"

"Oh yeah," Sam answers as he further loosens his tie and makes his way clumsily to his bed. He flops down onto it, his hair rebounding into his face as he does. "Too drunk probably." The room starts to spin a little as he looks up at the ceiling. "Ok,  _way_  too drunk… definitely."

"What the hell? I thought you were out working?" Dean's anger sets in immediately. He stands up and surveys Lizzy and Sam's behavior. Fuck, they are completely shitfaced.

"We were," Lizzy explains as she pulls off her heels that were hurting her still. "Oh God! That feels so much better!"

"Such a pussy," Sam comments with Lizzy's complaint and she throws her shoes at Sam, hitting him first in the stomach and then missing his head by an inch with her second shoe as she laughs.

"Fuck you, slut!" Sam calls out as he continues to stare at the ceiling. He grabs the shoe that hit him in the gut and blindly throws it back at her.

"Ow!" Dean growls through gritted teeth when the shiny black pump hits his shoulder. "Wait… did you just call L a slut?"

"Oops," Sam huffs a laugh Lizzy grabs her stomach with the giggles.

"Doesn't look like you got much work done," Dean remarks, irritated by their drunken status.

"Doesn't look like you got much done either!" Sam laughs as he points to the Anna Nicole Playboy lying out on Dean's bed.

"Ooh!" Lizzy says while pointing at Dean with a surprised face when he gets caught.

"That was just… I was done with my end of the research by then," Dean excuses, though he wasn't. He started out with his usually Busty Asian Beauties, but ended up in a nostalgic mood. He finished his work once he'd had his fun.

"So were we! We talked to the journalist just like we were supposed to. Then, once I saw that the Pats game was on, we decided to stay at the bar to watch. They fucked the Jets right in the ass by the way. It was beautiful," Lizzy explains with enthusiasm. "Look, I even brought you back food like I said I would!" She holds out a white plastic bag with a Styrofoam container in it with a proud smile.

"So you text me to get to work on research while you and Sam got wasted?"

Lizzy just stares at Dean for a second with confusion. Why was he so mad?

"It's not a big deal…" she starts.

"Oh yeah, not at all," Dean caustically responds. "Sounds like you had a grand old time while I was stuck here."

"Dean, you do that to me all the time," Sam defiantly says, looking to defend Lizzy as much as he can. He sits up and stares at his brother for a second. "You've gone off to drink without me plenty of times. Calm down, man. It was just a few hours."

"A few hours of me doing all the leg work and climbing the freakin' walls."

"Hey," Lizzy stumbles a little and walks over to stand in front of Dean. "I needed a little bit of time for once. Life has sucked recently…"

"Tell me about it," Dean spits out as he's beginning to think she's forgetting how much the miscarriage has affected him too.

"And I just wanted to have some fun. And when was the last time I got to watch a Pats game? Or hang out with just Sam?"

"I can't remember the last time we did that," Sam answers while lying back on his bed once more. "So long ago…"

"But so fun," Lizzy adds before looking back to Dean. "It was good for me. And it made me think about good times with Louie in a really good way. And for two hours, I never once thought about… everything you and I are dealing with right now. Hot Shot, this wasn't about excluding you. This was about me. Maybe I was being selfish but I'm never shell fish, you know that."

"Shell fish," Sam mutters out as he laughs over her drunken mistake.

"Eat me, Sam!" Lizzy shouts back and realizes her misstep immediately. "No wait! You'd like that too much!"

The two howl their laughter again and the happy moment, one were Lizzy and Sam are just being normal and enjoying themselves, and maybe even acting like siblings, makes Dean instantly feel like a jerk for getting mad. As much as this affected him, he knows she's having a much harder time with it. One thing Lizzy can't handle is the what could have been scenarios and the self-blame she puts on herself. She still feels it's her fault that Lou died, she still thinks she could have done more to keep Dean out of the pit and Sam out of Ruby's clutches, and now all she can do is think that it's somehow on her that she lost the baby. Maybe she did need some time for fun.

"What's in the box?" Dean asks in a lighter tone, nodding to the plastic bag in her hand once Lizzy wipes her eyes and calms her laughter.

She smiles up at him. "Double bacon cheeseburger with onion rings."

"That's my girl," he grins a little and takes the bag from her. "Alright, I can forgive for not inviting me then."

Lizzy pushes up on her tiptoes and kisses him sweetly in thanks his for understanding. "Chiefs are Sunday night football you know. Starts in like twenty minutes."

"Guess I should get some more beer then," Dean says to her as he puts his dinner on the table and grabs a motel key.

"You know how much I love you, right?" Lizzy grins wide at him and Dean winks at her once before leaving.

"You know how much I love you, right?" Sam says in an overly mocking voice, making fun of her and Dean's loving moment.

"Don't be a jerk," Lizzy laughs over to him while turning on the TV.

"I thought you were supposed to be a badass," Sam calls her out while closing his eyes. He should never have agreed to so many shots.

"Excuse you, but I am a badass," Lizzy says right back, taking her blazer off. "And for your information, badasses have hearts too."

"They also make lightweights drink more than they should," Sam complains as he drapes his forearm over his eyes. Spinning, spinning, spinning….

"You're admitting you're a lightweight?"

"Yup."

"I'm sorry," Lizzy says with a scrunched up face. She forgets sometimes that Sam doesn't drink nearly as much as she does.

"Don't be sorry. Just make the room stop turning in circles and we're even."

"Oh man," Lizzy chuckles as she walks to the small refrigerator and grabs him a bottle of water. She also grabs her ibuprofen from her bag before sitting down next to the giant man lying across his bed in peril. With a pained look she pats him on his knee twice. "Sit up dude."

Sam does so and looks at Lizzy with a dumb, sweet smile.

"Sam, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten you to drink so much."

"S'ok," he tells her. "It was good, you know? You smiled for like hours so… worth it."

"You're too nice for your own good," Lizzy scolds him, dropping some pain pills into his hand.

"I'm starting to see that." He downs the pills.

"Thanks for sacrificing your wellbeing for me," Lizzy says with a hand on his arm. "Lou was right all along. You really are a sweet guy."

"Jesus, what is with you and the touchy feely crap tonight?"

Lizzy laughs at this. "Well, there are several modes of Drunken Lizzy. There's the angry drunk, the horny drunk, the chick-flick drunk…"

"At least you're not the depressed drunk," Sam adds his two cents while lying back down. "I don't like that one."

"Kiddo, neither do I." Lizzy gets up with a smile and starts grabbing more comfortable clothes to wear for the night.

"Don't call me kiddo," Sam complains quickly. "You think you and Dean will be ok?"

"We'll always be ok. We're meant to be ok." It was true. Nothing could tear them apart, they know that now. Only death will be able to break them up.

"No, I mean tomorrow."

"What about tomorrow?" Lizzy wonders over to him, her sweatpants and t-shirt in hand.

"The support group," Sam clarifies while turning his head to look over to her. "That could suck."

"I'm sure it will," Lizzy says seriously, having let herself forget about going to that tomorrow.

"I think it'll be good though," he adds. "Dean doesn't deal with shit very well. Maybe that will help him."

"Or it'll piss him off so much he starts throwing punches."

"One or the other," Sam laughs. "How're you doing with it all, Lizzy?"

Instead of answer, she ignores his question and pretends not to hear it. Lizzy heads into the bathroom to change and once the door is closed she drops her clothes on the floor and sits on the closed toilet seat. Face in her hands, she sighs. She may have given herself a couple hours reprieve, but it didn't take the pain of everything away. She's still bleeding and will be for a day or two more, which just makes it worse. It's a horrible reminder every second of the day. She'll admit that she's relieved that she won't be responsible for yet another life during the Apocalypse, but the sadness of not having that life she really wants is overwhelming.

Not so shockingly, she drank away her worries for a little while but, as always, it was just a temporary fix.

* * *

"You went too hard on him," Dean comments to Lizzy as the fourth quarter of the Chiefs games starts. She looks up confused but understands when Dean nods at Sam while bringing his arm around her shoulders. Once she gets an eyeful of the sprawled out mess of a man she gets it. The poor guy is passed out, legs hanging off the bed and still wearing his fed suit. And snoring quietly, a surefire sign of how drunk he is. Sam never snores when sober.

"I think you're right," she answers back before turning her attention once more to the television just in time to catch the next play. She leans against Dean and they sit together on their bed, backs against the headboard.

"I'm assuming he drank just as much as you did?" Dean huffs a laugh.

"Less."

"Such a rookie. We need to get his tolerance up or something. A dude that size passing out like this, that's just sad," Dean smirks at his brother's resting form while sipping his beer. Sam's hangover is going to be nasty tomorrow and when Sam gets hungover he gets pukey. It won't be pretty. "And you're the one that gets to deal with him in the morning."

"No," Lizzy groans her complaint.

"Hell yes," Dean returns. "This is all your fault."

"Hey, I didn't force the booze down his throat…"

"But you put it in front of his face and made him feel like he had to drink it."

Lizzy looks at him with annoyance. "Are you calling me a bully?"

"Just saying, you swept the legs," Dean says with a shit eating grin.

"Don't compare me to the Cobra Kai, ok?" Lizzy answers back. "And I did  _not_  bully Sam into drinking."

"You keep telling yourself that," Dean laughs as he kills the last of his beer. He gets up. "One more?"

"Sure," Lizzy answers, downing the little left in her own bottle and handing the empty to him. "And I can't take care of the hungover Sasquatch tomorrow. You and I have to go to that meeting."

"Fucking awesome," Dean sarcastically remarks as he pulls two new beers from the refrigerator. "Can't wait to be in that comfortable and not at all awkward situation."

"Me neither," Lizzy says with distain. "But it could be wicked helpful to talk to the women that had those weird miscarriages."

"And that's the only reason I'm going," he tells her while handing over a fresh beer and sitting back into his spot next to her.

Lizzy smiles small at him before Dean turns his attention back to the game. She begins picking at the label of her beer before taking her first sip.

"Maybe it'll be helpful for more than just the case though," she quietly suggests while she gages his response.

"Seriously?" Dean asks her incredulously.

"Yes, seriously," she answers back. She sits up and faces him, crossing her legs Indian-style. "I mean, the whole thing couldn't hurt to go to for personal reasons, right?" After Sam mentioned how good the group meeting could be for them she realized how right he might be.

"I highly doubt that singing Kumbaya in a circle with a couple strangers is gonna make me feel like everything is ok."

"It won't be like that," she says and swats his arm for his pessimism. "I'm just saying that I think we can benefit. I'm not doing well, I'll be the first to admit it. This has thrown me for a pretty hard loop and I'm sad, and pissed, and, and… damn it, I'm so disappointed it fucking hurts, Dean. It hurts a lot. And knowing you the way I do, I don't think you're alright either."

Dean nods while looking down at his beer. "Not really."

"Didn't think so." Lizzy drops her hand onto his knee and Dean looks back up at her. "An open mind is all I'm looking for right now. Don't go in assuming the worst and who knows, maybe it'll help us through."

Sighing, still very nervous and doubtful of the meeting being anything but awful and uncomfortable, Dean gives in to her. How could he say no to her right now?

"Fine."

"Thank you," Lizzy smiles and kisses him in thanks.

"But I'm not hugging anyone!"

She laughs quietly at his irrational fear and settles in next to him once more.

"Swear to freakin' God," he warns while bringing his arm back around her shoulders. "If anyone hugs me I'm ditching your ass there."

* * *

 


	12. Kumbaya, My Lord, Kumbaya

* * *

"We're sitting in a circle," Dean whispers with fright.

"No one has a guitar though," Lizzy answer back while surveying the room as her nervousness grows. "We might be safe."

Sitting on a cold metal folding chair each, Lizzy and Dean sit upright and rigidly as they scan around the circle of people in the church basement. Lizzy's shoulders are tense and her hands are folded in her lap, clasped together almost painfully tight, while her leg bounces a mile a minute. Dean, sitting to her left, has his back straight as an arrow and is not leaning against the back of his chair. If his hands were to grip his knees any tighter he's dislocate his own knuckles. The two of them look scared stiff and, given the environment, they're reminiscent of a couple straight out of a crappy, CBS sitcom in a comically tense situation.

"Welcome everyone," the very kind woman holding a clipboard in her hand greets as she takes one of the only empty seats left in the circle. "It's good to see that so many couples have decided to come to this meeting today. It just goes to show that none of you are alone in this experience."

"I'm making a run for the door," Dean whispers in a panicky tone as he leans over to Lizzy.

"You leave me here alone and there will be  _massive_  repercussions," she warns right back.

"My name is Johanna," the woman in charge continues. "I have been in your place a few times before in the past so I feel I can completely relate to what you are all going through. Through these meetings I hope to open up your eyes a little to the fact that so many people deal with the loss of a pregnancy every day. Sharing experiences and airing fears and worries will hopefully help you walk away in at least a little bit better a place than when you walked in." She smiles warmly to the group and reads over her list of names on the sign in sheet attached to the clipboard.

"Ok, fuck this," Lizzy whispers to Dean as she grabs his forearm. Sharing? Airing fears? Hell no! "We both make a run for it on the count of three."

Lizzy may be the usually open and emotionally talkative person, but this is too damn much for even her. Everything they just experienced only three days ago is too raw and new and speaking aloud about it, to strangers none the less, is her personal hell at the moment.

"One…" she starts the countdown. "Two…"

"I see we have a few new couples joining us today."

"We're so screwed," Dean laments, knowing they weren't getting out that easily now.

"Lizzy Ford and Dean Plant," Johanna calls out and looks up at the group. "Where are you?"

Very slowly Dean and Lizzy raise their hands, not getting them any higher than their shoulders.

"We're all very happy to meet you two. We also have Lola and Enrique Reyes."

The couple sitting right next to Lizzy raise their hands just as hesitantly as she and Dean did.

"It's great to meet you two also."

Lizzy and Lola make eye contact and smile sheepishly at each other, feeling each other's misery and discomfort. The Reyes' look quite awkward in the situation also.

"What I would like to do first is listen to the stories of our new members to find out where they are in their process of finding acceptance. That way the people in this room who can relate can share with them what they've learned and how they've progressed over time."

"Oh God no," Lizzy says under her breath, her heart rate peaking. Dean, who is white as a ghost over the idea of having to talk aloud to these unknown people, grabs her hand tight. It was not only to calm her nerves but to calm his own as well.

"Lola, do you mind sharing your story with us?" Johanna looks over to Lola expectantly, followed by the rest of the room. It's very intimidating and Lizzy, though super relieved to not have to speak first, feels the woman to her right's pain.

"Um, ok," Lola starts while swallowing hard. "Well, Rique and I had been trying for a long time. We uh, weren't successful for nearly a year. Seemed like a constant uphill battle."

"It was the same for us," another woman speaks up. "My husband and I had been trying for nearly three years before we were successful. We both know how difficult and absolutely frustrating that can be."

Lola nods slowly. "It was bad. But about two months ago we found out we were finally pregnant and it was so exciting. We were over the moon." Lola looks over to Enrique sadly before turning back to the group. "It felt like the effort and patience was so worth it. My mother cried for an hour once I told her she was so happy. Two weeks ago we went in for a routine checkup and the doctor…." Shaking her head, Lola grows quiet when the emotions take her. Her husband starts speaking for her.

"He said Lola wasn't pregnant anymore," Enrique explains. "We don't know what happened. We never saw this coming. She never had any symptoms or anything."

Lizzy squeezes Dean's hand with the information. Lola was exactly who they were looking for.

"When the doctor told us, it was awful," Enrique continues. "We went from so excited about the future to just crushed in the matter of minutes."

"The worst part was the disappointment," Lola continues. "It broke my heart. I loved him or her, even if it was only a month in when it happened…"

Lizzy's own heart begins to ache as she hears Lola's words. She felt the exact same way. Letting go of Dean's hand, she goes with her compulsive need to show the woman some kind of support and grabs Lola's hand instead. Not expecting the gesture, Lola looks over to Lizzy with tears in her eyes and accepts the kindness offered to her.

"I'm so sorry," Lizzy tells her, not knowing what else to say.

"Thank you."

"Lizzy, it seems you can relate to Lola," Johanna speaks up as she watches their interaction. "Has your story been the same?"

Lizzy stares at Johanna immediately with fear filled wide eyes and swallows hard. She glances at Dean once, seeing how worried he is about her having to speak, but she sucks it up. Lola was strong enough to share her experience so she can be too.

"No," Lizzy answers truthfully. "It was very different."

"How was it different?" Johanna pushes, clearly seeing Lizzy's reluctance.

"Well, I… ha, I feel kinda like I don't belong here," Lizzy admits, her anxiety gripping her. These people probably all wanted kids from the jump and here she is about to whine about losing something she never tried for in the first place. "I feel like most people here were planning a pregnancy. I wasn't."

"You mean you and Dean weren't trying to start a family?"

"No, not at all," she tells Johanna and the group. "I got pregnant by accident. We've never tried before. Now isn't really the time for us."

Johanna smiles small at her. "Sounds like you changed your mind though."

Lizzy nods while glance over to Dean once more, her barriers slowly lowering. "It's like what Lola just said." She squeezes the woman's hand and looks at her. "I was already in love. Head over heels and all." She can feel the tears collecting along the bottoms of her lids.

"Dean, how did you feel about Lizzy being pregnant?" Johanna asks.

"Oh, ah, I didn't know," Dean simply answers.

"You didn't know?" Johanna pries with surprise.

"Yeah, Lizzy didn't tell me," Dean says and quickly realizes that he's making her look bad unintentionally. "I mean, she had just found out herself and needed some time to think things through before telling me. Like she said, this wasn't planned or anything. And it was only a couple days."

"I still shouldn't have done it, kept it from him," Lizzy adds. "I was freaking out. This was a shock in every sense of the word. I didn't know if I was ready, or if he was either, or if we could handle that at this point in our lives since our lives right now are so… um, hectic. I was scared."

"And that's ok," Dean further explains. "I get that. I would've been terrified too."

"It's good that you're so understanding, Dean," Johanna observes.

"No shit," Lizzy remarks and the group lets out a quiet, tension breaking laugh. "I am  _very_  lucky to have him, trust me. Only Dean would be that accepting of my holding out like that."

"Well, I'm usually the one making the bad decisions in this relationship," Dean smiles over to her and takes her hand. "I owe her one. Or a million maybe." He's warming up to the situation quite quickly. Ok, so this whole support group thing wasn't as frightening as he thought it'd be.

"Yeah, that's  _very_  true," Lizzy smiles right back, once more the group sharing a quick laugh.

"So how did you finally tell him?" Johanna asks.

"Oh, it wasn't good," Lizzy grimaces. "He found out I was pregnant the night I miscarried. I never told him before it happened because I… lost it… just a few days after I found out I was pregnant to start with. I never had the chance. I still feel so guilty about not letting him know earlier once that happened."

"And you know I'm not mad," Dean once more checks with her. He hates the idea that she'd possibly think he'd hold a grudge over that.

"I know," Lizzy says while a tear works its way down her cheek. She couldn't help it. This was one hell of an emotional experience and hearing Dean be honest and open for once, impossible to get through without crying a little. Dean reaches over and wipes the tear away for her, hating seeing her so sad.

"My husband and I weren't trying either," another woman from across the circle speaks up and offers her own support. "It was a total surprise to us too. Once we knew and we talked about it though, we realized we wanted to have the baby. We realized that's exactly what we wanted."

"That's how I felt," Lizzy says, feeling the weight lessen with the shared moment.

"Once we knew," the woman continues. "We were very excited. We felt so lucky that it was happening whether we planned it out or not and, even though we felt completely unprepared and that our lives weren't where they should be for a child, we wanted to make it work."

Lizzy and Dean both nod, understanding what the woman was telling them completely.

"So did I," Lizzy adds while looking over at Dean. "I wanted to find a way to make it work so bad."

"I would have wanted that too," he returns honestly.

"Well," says the very sharing woman, "I promise we can relate to you…."

* * *

Ok, Sam thinks to himself, this list Dean made is finally getting smaller.

While Lizzy and Dean were off trying to gather whatever they could from the support group, Sam's been on task, the current task being to narrow down their list of suspects and doing so without puking. He's sick as a dog still and it's almost noon now. No more drinking with Lizzy. When Dean is with them Lizzy can focus her hard drinking on her alcoholic partner in crime but without the distraction he took on the full brunt of her persuasiveness.

He's crossed out nearly every supernatural thing that didn't fit the profile. By now, he's only got one possible culprit left. It's one of the few creatures Dean came up with the day before during his Filipino lore search.

This monster was a new one for Sam, which is saying a lot. He's never heard the name before, not in his travels and definitely not in his dad's journal. If this is actually what is eating up babies and elderly people, then they'd better hope there's a lot of information about them out there.

Sam types 'aswang' into the search engine of his choice and immediately gets nearly 700,000 hits.

"Maybe Dean was on to something," Sam says to himself as he begins clicking on several sites that appear to be reputable enough. Very soon he realizes that the aswang is very, _very_  well-known overseas. This thing has several pages dedicated to the sightings and stories surrounding it's appearances in civilization and from the looks of things it's quite feared. The lore on it appears intimidating as every article he sees varies from the last. The word of mouth mythology surrounding it seems to have evolved several times over the course of its existence.

In no time at all, Sam's knows exactly what he has to do. He needs to find a solid resource for information on this thing. A resource that's clear, reliable, and always right. A resource that's been there and done that in almost all cases of supernatural anything.

"Hey Bobby," Sam greets once the other line picks up.

"Sam," Bobby greets right back. "What's going on?"

"What do you know about the aswang?" Sam asks, getting up and grabbing the bottle of ibuprofen from Lizzy's black medical bag.

Bobby sighs loudly with the mention of the creature.

"I can tell ya' they're very well known in Filipino lore," Bobby instantly answers. "Nasty fuckers too. Appetite to rival any creature out there, and a very specific diet… you telling me you've never heard of the aswang of the Philippines?"

"Ah, no. Can't say that I have." Sam pops three pills into his mouth and grabs the Gatorade Lizzy bought him before they headed out to down them.

"That surprises me. Those things have been documented for centuries."

"Well, I'm beginning to think we've found one."

"In the states?" Bobby questions disbelieving.

"Yeah. Is that weird?"

"Very. They tend to stay in the Philippines. Where are you?"

"Los Angeles."

"Hmm, a little odd," Bobby tells him. "But it makes sense. There's a huge Filipino population around those parts."

"Alright, hold on. How the hell do you know all this?" Sam has to ask as he sits down at his laptop and opens a Word document to start taking notes.

"Easy," Bobby answer in a matter-of-fact manor. "Killed one years ago in California with Rufus."

"Of course you did," Sam smiles, knowing he should have assumed it. "Well, I'm all ears, Bobby. Tell me everything you know."

* * *

Both Dean and Lizzy let out a simultaneous sigh when Johanna brings the meeting to an end. It was a long one, and an emotional one, but they got through it somehow. They glance at each other with thankfulness. Lizzy gives his hand a squeeze as they never let go of one another for the remainder of the meeting. Dean flashes a quick smile back. They both know they got plenty out of the experience and they feel better about everything already.

"I'm gonna get that list of people from the meeting," Dean tells her, dropping her hand and standing up to do what they originally came here for.

"Ok," Lizzy nods, standing up also. "I'm gonna talk to Lola. I feel like she's a good source."

"You're probably right," Dean agrees with a sigh as he searches her expression . "Hey, ah, you ok? After all this?"

"Shockingly, yeah. I am," Lizzy tells him, her nerves coming down. "This might've actually been as helpful as it was a pain in my ass."

"I hear ya'," Dean smiles slightly.

"How 'bout you?" Lizzy wonders, brow lowered and very curious to see how he's holding up. Dean doesn't always deal well with heavy stuff… scratch that, Dean  _never_  deals well with heavy stuff… and this one is as heavy as it gets. "You, I don't know, better with everything I guess?"

Looking at the floor first, Dean peers into Lizzy's eyes and nods. "I am better. Still sucks but I'm doing better."

"Who woulda thought that talking it all out would help, huh?" Lizzy jokes to him while stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Not me," Dean answers with levity right back as he brings his arms around her shoulders. "And don't get too used to it. I'm done talking for a while."

"I'll allow it," Lizzy smirks and pushes up on her tip toes, her usual move when she wants him to lean down and meet her. She kissed him in thanks, knowing just how much worse this whole experience was for him than it was for her. The kiss, one that was a little more than innocent, helps them understand that they will, in fact, make it past this with flying colors.

"Ok, not the time or place," Lizzy smiles as she lowers herself and steps away from him. "Go get that list."

"Yeah," Dean agrees, standing with his hands on his hips and composing himself for a second. She hasn't kissed him like that in far too long. He missed that. "Alright, meet you at the car."

* * *

 


	13. The Really Helpful Volunteer

* * *

"Good," Sam cheers when the motel room door opens. They're back and he has so much to go over with them after talking to Bobby that he's antsy to get going.

"Hey," Lizzy grins as she steps inside, Dean following right after. "How'd it go in here?"

"Great," Sam smiles. "Thanks to Bobby, I know what we're dealing with."

"Really!?" Lizzy nearly shouts out as she moves quickly to stand next to Sam's chair at the table.

"It's an aswang," he tells the two other hunters.

"That weird thing I put on the list yesterday?" Dean asks as he looks over Sam's shoulder at the posted drawing of a grotesque monster on his laptop screen.

"Yeah, you were definitely on to something there and lucky for us, Bobby's put one down before."

"Have I mentioned lately how much I love that man?" Lizzy comments to the group as she kicks off her boots and sits down on her bed. "So spill it, Sam-I-Am. I'm ready to know what we're up against."

"The aswang is the feared monster of the Philippines," Sam explains as he turns his chair to face the rest of the room. Dean hands out some beers that he took from the refrigerator and takes a seat next to Lizzy. Making a disgusted face, Sam puts his on the table. His stomach churning at the sight of the beer bottle lets him know he's still not ready to drink again. "It's the story every mother told their child growing up to keep them in line and off the streets. It sounds like some bizarre mix of a bunch of other supernatural creatures. From what I read and Bobby told me it's like a shapeshifter but with shades of vampire, werewolf, and rugaru."

"Sounds eclectic," Dean jokes with a sip of beer.

"It is," Sam agrees with wide eyes. "And it's rare, very rare. They are always seen as human and they live very public lives."

"Hiding in plain sight," Lizzy adds.

"Exactly," Sam confirms. "Usually they are good people, religious and kind, even charitable. Their day jobs tend to be meat related, butchers or deli workers, maybe something at a food processing plant for meat based food."

"Gross," complains Lizzy. "So this thing is probably butchering and eating the missing people?"

"Long pig," Dean grins awkwardly at Sam, using his favorite word he's picked up through hunting.

"Yes Dean," Sam patronizingly says before getting serious again. "Now, Bobby told me that the lore on these things is pretty extensive but he was able to confirm or deny a lot of it for me. For example, the journalist who lied and wrote that the missing elderly people had carvings of them left behind clearly knew about the awsang. That's a false detail that's widely believed by Filipino people. He popped it in there for the old school believers. I doubt he even knows how spot on he was about all this."

"That guy was such a douche," Lizzy grumbles, still burning over his rude attitude towards her and Sam yesterday.

"Yes he was," Sam smiles before continuing. "However, everything else fit. The missing children and elderly are spot on. Weak, easy targets are what this thing goes after."

"So are the miscarriages related at all or do we have to hunt some other thing down?" Dean wonders. "Because I gotta say, after talking to some people today, that whole thing is pretty suspicious. Like not some medical mystery kinda thing but our kinda thing."

"Bobby thinks it's related. When he and Rufus came across one years ago he said that the aswang was to blame for the few lost pregnancies they noticed happening."

"I don't get it," Lizzy says with much confusion. "This thing takes babies and old folks, I get that, but how does it take the unborn?"

"Uh, it's kinda disgusting," Sam answers with a wrinkled expression. "And really disturbing."

Dean and Lizzy just stare at him and wait. He didn't want to have to explain it since it's so awful, but oh well.

"Alright, so you know how mosquitoes feed off of humans? It has a long, nose-like appendage called a proboscises and it sucks the blood out?"

"Yeah…" Lizzy says with a horrified face.

"Well, it's like that," Sam says. "It'll attack women it knows to be pregnant while they're sleeping. It then, uh, sucks the fetus out and feeds on it." His expression is one of sheer revulsion.

"Oh shit," Lizzy clamps a hand over her mouth. "That's sick."

"Yeah, I know," Sam returns. "The women don't remember it happening because this thing is nearly silent when it wants to be and it can move fast."

"So how do we kill this evil son of a bitch," Dean asks, his anger growing by the second. And he thought ghouls were nasty. This one takes the taco.

"Well, bullets don't work, neither do knives. And apparently they're insanely strong."

"Fucking figures," laments Lizzy.

"The lore says there are a lot of ways, but from what Bobby told me we have to stake and burn the bitch."

"Shit," Dean laments again. This is one fucked up creature and now they know they have to get up close and personal with it.

"Basically, it's a two part kill," Sam breaks it down. "First we have to stake it through the heart, then we have to burn it because if we don't it'll rebound from the stabbing after a little bit."

"So we know how to kill it, but now we have to find it," Dean comments as he stands up and grabs the list of people who had access to the hospital nursery off the table. "This has to be an inside job."

"Come again?" Lizzy asks.

"I think that one of the people on this list is what we're looking for," Dean says to Lizzy and Sam as he holds out the list for them to see. "I searched that nursery and there is no way in hell anyone or anything got in there without clearance. It had to have an access card and this is the list of everyone that'd have one."

"You sure?" Sam asks.

"Absolutely."

"This is good then!" Sam perks up. "The assisted living facilities I went to have high security also due to dementia patients. Not just anyone can walk into those places. If we can get lists of workers and volunteers from the homes we can compare the two. If someone pops up on both…"

"Boom," Lizzy finishes with a smile. "We have our aswang."

The air in the room gets a little less thick as the three hunters come to the realization that they've finally made some headway on this case.

"If we all suit up we can each hit one old folk's home and get a list," Dean suggests, heading for the closet he'd hung his suit up in yesterday. "Then we can meet back here, compare notes, and hopefully have our guy."

"Done and done," Lizzy says jumping out of her seat with excitement and stopping next to Sam really quickly. "Good job, Sam-I-Am!" She pats him on the shoulder and heads to grab her suit as well.

"Thanks," he says with surprise. "So I guess the meeting wasn't that helpful for the case?"

"Nah, the lady running it was like a clipboard Nazi," Dean explains. "I tried to get the list of people and their addresses off of it so we could interview some couples but she never put it down."

"But we did get to talk to one of the women who fit the pattern," Lizzy continues. "She said she had a weird dream the night before of a man being in her house and found her front door open the next morning. I bet that's our guy she's semi-remembering."

"Sounds like it to me," Sam answers. "So, um, was it still, you know, helpful? For you guys to go?" He watches Dean and Lizzy exchange curious looks.

"You know what?" Lizzy starts, looking back to Sam. "It really was. It definitely helped."

Sam just smiles and nods as Lizzy disappears into the bathroom with her suit. He's glad to see her look more relaxed, almost happy for once. Dean himself looks a bit less on edge also. That meeting must have been good for them after all.

* * *

Looking over the front of the Wildwood Retirement Home, Lizzy thinks Sam sent her here on purpose. It's beautiful, the building bright white and clean as a whistle. This place looks expensive, welcoming, and perfect. He sent her to the easy place, the one that wouldn't be a hassle and would be a quick stop. She smiles to herself. He's still worried about her and she appreciates his efforts to make her life easier.

Lizzy climbs the front set of steps as she hears the rumble of the Impala start to fade behind her. Her painful heels loudly click the whole way up and when she reaches the top she opens up the large wooden front door. Inside the wide open foyer that is brightly lit are a few residents milling around, chatting and whatnot. As she heads for the front desk, a plump man in a Raiders T-shirt and jeans that was talking to an elderly woman in a wheelchair rushes over to her once he spots her.

"Hi there," he says as he jogs to stand in front of her.

"Um, hello," Lizzy says, finding his sudden and hurried behavior odd.

"I'm Jason," he holds out his hand and shakes hers. "I'm a volunteer here."

"Agent Bonham," Lizzy tells him.

"Can I help you out with something?" Jason eagerly asks with a very welcoming smile on his face. He's a rather round man, weighing much more than she and having a considerable sized stomach. His hair is dark and so is his skin tone. His eyes look excited as he offers his assistance.

"Well, I'm just here to talk to the person in charge," Lizzy explains as she begins to walk past Jason. He side steps and stands in front of her once more, blocking her path to the front desk. She glares at him for a moment.

"I'm sure I could help you," Jason offers. "Janine is very busy right now. She's in the middle of planning a charity event for our home this month. She asked me to lend a hand down here in the lobby and do my best to keep people out of her hair."

"I don't think that includes me," Lizzy challenges as she pulls out her badge. She flips it open and shows it to Jason. "I'm sure I have clearance."

"Oh yes, agent," Jason agrees once he sees it. "You most certainly do."

"I won't need her for very long," Lizzy assures. "Just a quick hello and I need a list."

"List of what?" Jason pries.

Sighing, Lizzy wishes Jason wasn't such an eager to help kind of guy. "I need a list of people who worked and volunteered here starting a month before the disappearance of Rosa Chaves and covering up until now."

"Oh, Rosa," Jason sadly comments. "She was a wonderful woman."

"I'm sure she was," Lizzy smiles small. "Now if you could point me in the directions of the…."

"Come with me," Jason offers, waving her over as he begins walking. "I'll bring you up."

"Thank you," Lizzy says appreciatively and follows behind Jason on their way to the pair of elevators off to the side of the lobby. He presses the top button and places his hands on his hips, his foot tapping the floor a mile a minute.

"So, you're looking into the disappearances?" Jason questions, clearly making small talk.

"Yes," Lizzy confirms succinctly.

"Good," Jason says. "I don't want any more of our residents going missing."

"Neither do I."

"Do you think it has something to do with the missing babies?"

Looking at him with surprise, Lizzy thinks hard before she speaks. "I'm not really at liberty to discuss it with you."

"Oh, I understand, sorry. Just the timing seemed weird, you know?" Jason nervously looks to the floor. "A child disappearing just a day after it's born. So awful."

"Yes. It is."

"You have children?"

Lizzy looks away and stares at the elevator doors and in a flat tone answers him. "No."

"Me neither," Jason answers.

It grows a little silent for a moment.

"I'm really glad the FBI is looking into this," Jason answers as the elevator dings and the doors open. Once they're inside, he presses the top floor. "I'm probably overstepping my bounds here, but there's a rumor going around that women are having these strange miscarriages…"

"You're very talkative," Lizzy cuts him off with a curious look, trying to let him know she won't be discussing the issue with him.

"Sorry," Jason huffs as the exceptionally slow elevator crawls upward. "I just can't imagine thinking you're going to have a child and then suddenly you're not."

"Yeah," Lizzy huffs, her hand coming to her lower stomach absentmindedly. "Me neither."

Jason watches her actions, staring for a quick second at her hand on her stomach. An evil grin spreads across his face with the realization of what that means but Lizzy doesn't see it as she looks forward at the elevator doors.

"Um, do you have any leads?" Jason pries a little more.

"Some," Lizzy simply says, her nerves suddenly acting up a bit. He's a bit too helpful and a bit too curious for her liking.

"Are you getting close to figuring it out?"

Lizzy peers at the man with sudden fear. He's asking so many questions that it's making her uncomfortable and quite suspicious.

"No," Lizzy lies and looks away again. She reaches to her back for her handgun on instinct but before she can she feels a hard, intensely strong blow to the side of her head. Everything goes black.

Jason watches Lizzy's body slump to the floor and onto her back with a thud. She's out cold. Jason pushes the emergency stop button and crouches to the floor over her. He inhales deeply over her stomach.

"Mm," Jason grins out. "Stopping a hunter and getting myself an afternoon preborn snack. Talk about killing two birds with one stone." He lightly drags his fingers over the bleeding gash just above her temple before brushing her hair out of her face, really looking at the relaxed, dreamless look on it. He then slowly licks his reddened fingers, relishing the taste of her blood. "Beautiful."

* * *

 


	14. Tie Your Mother Down

* * *

Grabbing the takeout boxes from the back seat, Dean stands up with them in hand and shuts the back door of the Impala with a hip check. He then walks to the door of their motel room and kicks it twice, hoping someone beat him back and can open the door for him.

"Hey," Sam says while he opens the door for Dean. They both walk back inside and Dean kicks the door shut behind him. "You get the list?"

"Sure did," Dean answers as he drops the boxes on the table and grabs the folded piece of paper out from his suit jacket. "And it was easy for once. Cute little chick at the front desk. Chatted her up a little, told her she looked like Natalie Portman, threw her a wink and boom, list in hand."

"You say that with way too much pride," Sam remarks as he sits at the table by his open computer and starts looking through the boxes for what could be his meal.

"Just saying, I've been out of the game for a while and it's nice to know that this old dog's still got it's tricks," Dean smirks, sitting across from Sam. "L's still out?"

"Haven't seen her yet," Sam responds while tilting an open box Dean's way that contains a grilled chicken salad. Dean nods to confirm that it's what he got for Sam. "Should be back soon though."

"Better be," Dean remarks, opening his box containing a club sandwich with extra bacon and fries. "Her sandwich'll get cold if she isn't."

"She'll live," Sam huffs through a mouthful of lettuce. He unfolds Dean's list and lays it out side by side with the one he got at the sub-par retirement home from Judy and the list from the hospital.

"You better find something there," Dean says, wiping a glob of mayo off the corner of his mouth with his thumb. "I'm not getting my cheeks pinched by old ladies saying I'm cute again. My face hurts."

"At least for you it was the cheeks on your face," Sam quietly huffs as he furrows his brow while looking at the pages. "Huh. There's one name on all three lists."

"Bingo" Dean says, putting down his quarter sandwich and leaning forward.

"Jason Johnson," Sam reads. "Sounds nice and anonymous."

"No kidding."

"You know, I ran into a Jason the other day while checking out Ramos' room, the guy with the old skin mags."

"You think it was him?" Dean asks with wide eyes.

"Maybe," Sam comments while thinking. "If it was then there's a monster with a first edition Playboy out there."

"Marilyn!?" Dean asks his brother incredulously. "You let him have the Marilyn issue!?"

"Sorry," Sam says oddly while looking between the lists of volunteers. "Didn't know you were such a vintage porn buff."

"Not a buff, just a red blooded American guy, Sammy," Dean explains. "Respect your heritage, huh?"

"Back on topic, his guy is either a saint or our monster. He volunteers at the hospital  _and_  two different retirement homes."

"That's suspicious enough for me," Dean quips as Sam starts typing away on his computer, using the local police force's database to check out the guy.

"Jason Michael Johnson," Sam starts reading off. "Thirty-two years old, lives on Van Dellas Avenue in Los Angeles. Never been married. He owns a butcher shop…"

"What were the chances?" Dean rolls his eyes.

"And he's clean as a whistle… allowing him to volunteer anywhere since all his background checks come out spotless."

"We should check out his place," Dean recommends as he takes out his phone to call Lizzy.

"Oh, definitely," Sam answers, putting the addresses of Jason's house and store into his own phone.

"Damn," Dean says with a lowered brow after a minute. He pulls his phone away from his ear. "L didn't pick up her phone."

"Maybe she's talking to someone at Wildwood," Sam suggests.

"Yeah…" Dean says, troubled. He's getting a weird feeling, a feeling that's making him very nervous. He decides to text her and hopefully she can return it quickly.

"Just let her know where we're going," Sam says lightly, not concerned in the least. "She can meet us there."

Dean nods as he presses send.

_On to something. Need you to meet us. Call me back as soon as you get this._

"Let's head out," Dean says, ditching his food and pulling his keys out of his pocket. "We'll bring the stakes in the trunk that we were gonna use on the trickster. Should work."

"Ok," Sam answers, getting up right away and pulling his jacket on.

Dean clutches his phone in his hand for a second, willing it to respond to him with a call from Lizzy. It doesn't happen so he gets up and grabs his things.

"Maybe we should go check Wildwood," Dean suggests as he leaves the motel room, Sam following. "Pick her up first so she can come with us to this dude's house."

"You're being really paranoid, man," Sam tells his brother as he stops at the passenger side door. He leans his elbows onto the roof of the Impala and talks to Dean over it. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Dean admits as he pauses, still looking down at his cell phone, confusion mixing with a little fear in his voice. "Just getting a weird feeling."

"Like Lizzy found trouble or something?" Sam pries, trying to understand.

"Yeah, exactly like that," Dean answers, looking at his phone again. "She wasn't supposed to be gone this long and she never lets her phone go to voicemail on a hunt."

"Try her again," Sam suggests, his own nerves kicking in with Dean's solid explanation. Dean redials and holds the phone up to his ear. When his face goes a little white, Sam gets worried. "What happened?"

"Went straight to voicemail," Dean says staring down at him cell. "Didn't even ring. Her phone's off."

"Why would she turn it off?"

"She wouldn't, Sammy. That's the point." Dean opens the car door and hurriedly drops into the driver's side. Sam follows suit. "We're checking out Wildwood."

* * *

"Excuse me," Dean interrupts the woman sitting behind the front desk of Wildwood Retirement Home in a rushed voice. "I'm looking for an agent who came in here about two hours ago."

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry," the woman shakes her head no. "You're the only agent I've seen here today. We did have one who came in yesterday… oh! There he is." She points behind Dean to the front of the lobby where Sam is walking in through the front door after parking the car.

"No, there's a female agent working with us also. Agent Bonham," Dean quickly spits out, his panic growing by the second. He knows she came here, they dropped her here before heading to the other retirement homes. He and Sam both watched her head up the front steps before driving off.

"I'm sorry, but she never came in today."

Dean turns around to Sam as he walks to the front desk. In a very hushed tone he leans forward and tells him, "They haven't seen her."

"What!?" Sam nearly shouts, the alarm finally getting to him. "How is that possible?"

"I don't know," Dean answers, turning back to the front desk worker. "Could we talk to whoever's in charge around here please?"

"Sure, let me just call up to Janine," the woman explains, phone already in hand.

Taking a few steps away, Dean scans the lobby with his hands on his hips. "Where the hell could she have gone?"

"Excuse me young man," an elderly woman calls over to him from her spot at the side of the lobby. She is playing chess with another resident. "Are you looking for the pretty lady who came in here earlier?"

"Was she wearing a suit?" Dean questions, he and Sam moving closer to talk to the woman sitting in a wheel chair.

"Oh yes. She looked a lot like my sister when she was younger, but she had red hair. Very pretty, dark red hair. It was so unique!" She smiles up to them kindly.

"Do you know where she went?" Sam blurts out as he looks at the woman with wide eyes.

"Oh, one of our volunteers was nice enough to escort her up to see Janine."

"How do we get there?" Dean immediately asks.

"The elevator over there," the woman tells them, pointing to it. Both hunters take off almost immediately, but something dawns on Sam and stops him.

"Wait, volunteers?" he asks, turning back to the elderly woman. "She went with a volunteer?"

"Yes," she grins back up. "Jason helped her. He's such a lovely young man, so sweet. He loves to listen to my stories which I appreciated because frankly, I know most don't." She laughs lightly while Dean and Sam's faces fall.

"Shit," Dean swears under his breath while turning quickly and heading for the elevator. The second he reaches it, he jams his thumb into the button on the wall rapid fire a few times to call it down. As he waits he paces back and forth, the panic truly beginning to grip him.

"She's probably upstairs," Sam says to Dean once he makes his way over after thanking the woman for her help.

"You know that she isn't," Dean darkly returns, his fears hitting him harder by the second. Jason helped her, he was with her. Jason is their monster, he knows it. And now the monster has Lizzy.

The ding of the elevator arriving makes them both turn sharply to look at the doors opening. The second they part, both brothers rush into the small car. Looking quickly around the small area, Sam freezes and points to the floor by his foot. Dean leans down for a closer look, but he already knows what he's looking at. The small, red drop makes his heart jump into his throat.

"We gotta search this place top to bottom," Sam says as he pulls Dean up to his feet. "She might still be here somewhere."

Jaw clenched and anger boiling over, Dean nods once and pressed the top floor button with the word 'offices' next to it.

This Jason guy must have had one hell of a death wish.

* * *

Even before she can get her eyes to open, Lizzy can feel the pain radiating from the side of her head. Her temple is throbbing but for the life of her she can't remember why. Rolling her head to the side she feels slightly dizzy with the movement and she brings her hand up to cover over her injury by instinct. However, before she can get her hand to her head she feels something tug against her wrist and stop her.

"The fuck…" she whispers to herself when her arm's movement is restricted. She opens her weary eyes, blinks away the blurriness, and sees the rope tied around her wrist. She pulls two more times, testing its strength, and realizes quickly that she's not going anywhere.

"Why does the bad shit keep happening to  _me_ lately? Fucking A."

Taking a deep breath to calm her quickly growing nerves while also willing her brain back into functioning efficiently, Lizzy looks around her. Both arms are tied out to the sides of her head by rope with only a little slack to move. Her ankles are bound the same way and she's lying on a rolling hospital bed. One of her heels is missing but other than that her clothing looks the same as when she was in the retirement home. That means she didn't put up a fight. What the hell?

Shit, the retirement home, Lizzy thinks to herself. That's where she last was. She came in to get a list of workers and volunteers and then… what?

Her brain can't quite grab at what happened in the time between walking into Wildwood and right now. She keeps pushing her mind, fighting to get back what happened, as she surveys the room. Quite clearly she's in a basement. The grey, concrete walls and damp air give it away. The small room is very bare, nothing but the bed and her in it. One wall has a doorway, or more of an opening really. There is no actual door and she assumes it leads to the rest of the basement below whatever building she's currently in.

Taking stock of what she has on her, Lizzy's worry grows even deeper. While lying on her back she knows her gun isn't on her anymore as it isn't pressing into her. Also, it doesn't feel like her butterfly knife is stashed in her bra anymore which just raises the skeeviness of the situation to a whole other level. Someone or something would have had to reach inside her clothing to get it. Gross.

And then there's her phone. That should be in her blazer pocket and she is just assuming it isn't there either. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

And then the panic reaches eleven. She can hear a door opening outside her little partitioned off room, followed by heavy steps down what sounds like a wooden staircase. Lizzy begins pulling on her restraints in her irrational thinking when she knows someone is coming. It's futile at best as soon enough someone is standing in the doorway and she's no freer than she was when she came to. Looking over to the figure standing in the doorway, it all comes back to her.

"Hello again Agent Bonham," the larger man she remembers as Jason says to her while leaning against the wall with his arms cross. He peers at her with a look in his eyes that gives Lizzy a chill. "Good to see you're awake."

* * *

 


	15. The Dexter Monster

* * *

Sprinting down the stairs to the lobby of Wildwood Retirement home, Dean's heart races. He talked to Janine, the big shot in the place, and she confirmed that an Agent Bonham never came to visit her today. He then checked each floor for any sign of anything suspicious or of Lizzy having been there but he's come up empty handed. Every time he made his way down another hall or looked around another room only to find nothing, his hopes dropped even lower.

Jason has her. It's the one thought running in his mind right now. She must have let her guard down and Jason saw the opportunity. This isn't like her.

He sees Sam get off the elevator at the same time he reaches the bottom of the large staircase in the middle of the lobby.

"Sam!" Dean calls, getting his brother to turn his attention to him. They jog to meet each other.

"You find any sign of her?" Sam asks with sheer worry in his voice.

"No, you?"

"Yeah," Sam answers while holding up one shiny, black patented leather pump in his grip.

"Fuck," Dean grits as he clenches his jaw, the anger and fear threatening to topple him.

"It was by the loading dock in the basement," Sam explains. "It looks like she was taken out the back way. There was no sign of struggle but I saw a few drops of blood by the garage door." He sighs heavily. "She isn't here anymore."

"Damn it," Dean shouts, making the few residents around them flinch with his volume and the punch in his voice. Washing a shaky hand down his face, Dean looks around while willing his brain to get on task and stop playing the what-if game. "Jason. We have his address."

"Let's go," Sam immediately says, his feet already carrying him out the front door. Dean follows right behind and Sam goes into hunter autopilot and focuses in with concise determination. He was always good in situations like this. Dyer situations made the excellent, almost flawless hunter come out of him.

When they get to the car, Sam only needs to give one quick glance to his brother to know Dean's not on the same page. The utter terror on his face is tell-tale enough.

"Gimme the keys," Sam holds his hand out to Dean expectantly as he heads for the driver's side of the car.

Normally Dean would laugh in Sam's face with such a ridiculous request, even return it with some colorful language, but not right now. Dean hands the keys over without a thought.

Once in the car, Sam pops the address into his phone's GPS as quickly as he can. As he turns the key in the ignition, he looks over to his brother. "We'll get her back."

Dean doesn't answer, just starts straight ahead as Sam pulls out of their parking space.

"Hey!" Sam shouts out, finally getting Dean's attention. It was always his big brother who could control any situation, no matter how scary or insane or close a call it was. Right now, Sam has to take everything he's learned from Dean and use it to help reign in the usual leader. "She's fine. Lizzy is tougher than any other woman out there. She's not going down without a fight and you know it."

"I know." It's quiet and filled with doubt.

"We're not letting anything happen to her, Dean," Sam keeps it up. "Never. Nothing will ever happen to her if we have any say in it."

Dean nods with a clenched jaw.

"Get your head in the game, dude," Sam says, thinking he sounds a lot like his father did. "Grab the stakes in the back seat."

Dean does so, dropping the weapons by his feet when done.

"Chances are we'll find her at his house, and if not then she's at his shop," Sam rationalizes.

"Yeah," Dean roughly and hesitantly agrees.

"You with me?" Sam asks to make sure.

Dean glances over at Sam while pulling out his gun from behind his back. He checks the clip before snapping it back in with a metal click.

"Definitely," Dean very darkly responds, his voice gritty and filled with hatred. "This thing will fucking regret the day it went after L."

"Atta boy," Sam says, happy to know his brother is back.

* * *

"Fuck me," Lizzy complains as she watches Jason walk into the room, standing at the end of the bed she's tied to.

"Sorry honey. That's not really my style," Jason jokes. "But eating you… well, that's a different story."

"If you weren't my monster kidnapper I might actually find that funny." Lizzy takes a good look at him and sees that he's now wearing a white apron along with some heavy black gloves.

"You're ballsy, Agent Bonham," Jason tells her as he pulls her badge out of his pocket. He opens it and reads. "Or should I call you Joan?"

"You should probably call me death wish," Lizzy quips as she knows Dean and Sam are already searching. There's no doubt in her mind that they'll find her. "Since you seem to have one and all."

"Aw, you're cute," the monsters coos while looking at her with narrowed eyes. "You think I'm dumb."

"Maybe a little."

"Well I'm not!" Jason loudly tells her. "I know what you are."

"A supermodel?" Lizzy questions while copping an attitude.

"A hunter," he answers back. "The gun, the knife, the fake F.B.I. badge, the cheap suit you try to pull off as expensive… you're a neon sign."

"Well congratulations. You're clearly a little smarter than you look," Lizzy smiles through her nerves.

"And if you're a hunter, then I know that you don't work alone." Jason walks around the side of the bed and comes closer. "Someone has to be coming for you."

At this Lizzy keeps her mouth shut. This thing is well informed.

"Just as I thought," Jason smirks as he runs his gloved hand over the wound on the side of her head. Lizzy winces with the pain when his fingers press down, causing it to bleed all over again. "Guess I better make sure I get what I want out of you… literally." Popping his fingers in his mouth, he hums with the taste of her blood. "Elevated hormones, just as I thought. Delicious."

"What the hell are you talking about, sicko?" Lizzy had to ask with her confusion.

"Well, if you're a good hunter you already know," Jason informs her as he pulls a handkerchief out of his back pocket and begins rolling it up. "I assume you're aware of my eating habits by now."

"I don't…" Lizzy shakes her head before it finally dawns on her. Hormones. He thinks she's still pregnant. "No, you don't understand…"

"Yes I do," Jason returns. "And I have to say, a hunter having a kid? That's really irresponsible. Don't you know how dangerous that life is for a child to be in?"

"Pretty sure I know, but…" Before she can tell him how wrong he is the cloth in his hand is stuffed into her mouth and tied behind her head. The gag in place, she can only make muffled sounds with her voice.

"I think that out of the two of us you're the stupid one," Jason continues. "Hunters can't have kids. It's common sense."

Lizzy does her best to talk through the gag to let him know he's wrong, that she's isn't pregnant. He has to be picking up on whatever hormones are left in her system as she's still adjusting back to normal.

"Relax, would you?" Jason smiles with a hand on the side of her face. It was no doubt meant to comfort her in his own twisted way but instead she turns her head and shies away from him. "I'll take care of it for you. No future kid to worry about getting in the way of your work."

She tries one last time to shout out her protest, to let him know he's wrong, but the louder her voice and more frantic her actions, the wider the smile on Jason's face. He thinks he's torturing her, making her scared, but he's not. Lizzy just doesn't want the creature anywhere near her.

Jason cocks a fist and before Lizzy knows it, everything goes black once again.

* * *

The front door of Jason's house bursts open with a loud bang as Dean's foot crashes into it. The two hunters rush into the house, guns aimed ahead of them and stakes stowed behind their backs. Dean immediately makes his way up the stairs while Sam stays on the first floor, silently working together. No communication needed.

Dean checks each of the three bedrooms on the top floor. The first two are average, clean, and clearly unused. The last one at the end of the hallway is locked. Suspicious enough to give him a flicker of hope, Dean once more moves back a step in preparation. He thrusts his foot hard into the wooden door, splintering it's frame on impact. He walks inside the darkened room to find a quite leery scene.

The bed in the middle of the room is old, dirty, and disheveled, which isn't shocking for a creature. Most of the ones they've come across would be known as the opposite of cleanly and the places they dwell usually reflect just that. The desk in the far corner steals his attention, more specifically the shelf above it. Standing in a line on it are several books, the spines and their titles on them all exposed. Dean walks across the room once he knows it's clear from threat and reads.

"Sick fuck," Dean comments when he realizes the books are all on either the human anatomy, the art of rope bondage, or butchery. "We found a monster Dexter." His anger and fear hits a new level. "Damn it."

There is a photo album resting on the desktop. He opens it and starts leafing through the pages, all collections of articles related to missing people that Jason must have had a hand in making disappear. The first few pages are from decades ago, the 1920's. Flipping to the last filled page, Dean sees a printed copy of the same article Lizzy came across. The same one that brought them to Los Angeles.

"Souvenirs. Awesome," Dean complains as he closes the book. There is a bulletin board on the wall above the desk and under the long shelf. Scanning through them, he sees a business card for Jason's butcher shop and a picture of Jason with his arm around an elderly woman, both smiling brightly. He pulls the picture off the wall and pockets it before heading back down stairs.

"Upstairs is clear!" Dean calls out to wherever Sam is.

"So is the first floor," Sam adds as he closes a door in the hallway. "And the basement. Not a damn thing. Everything is perfect. Too perfect."

"Except for his bedroom," Dean comments, handing Sam the photo. "If the several volumes of 'Hacking Up Humans for Dummies' wasn't enough, he's kept articles of all the missing people he's eaten."

"Disturbing," Sam says with a disgusted face. "Isn't that kinda serial killer behavior and not so much monster behavior?"

"That's what I thought, but more importantly L's not here so we need to go," Dean answers, already halfway to the front door and tired of standing around. "We're going to that butcher shop."

Sensing the heightened fear from his brother, Sam tries his best to calm him. "She's ok, Dean. We're gonna find her."

"Yeah, and in one piece," Dean darkly responds, booking it out of the house.

"Dean!" Sam calls out to stop his brother as he walks to the coffee table. He pulls out a magazine with Marilyn Monroe on the cover from the middle of the stack and holds it up for Dean to see. "It's definitely him."

"The porn mag guy?"

"Yeah, the volunteer I met the other day. I gave him this," Sam says. "Shit. Shit, I talked to him."

"Look familiar?" Dean hands over the photo of Jason and the elder woman.

"Yeah… and that's the same old woman who talked to us at Wildwood. I think this is his next intended victim."

"You're probably right," Dean starts back for the door. Seeing how efficient, cunning, and experienced this monster is makes him more absolutely frightened for Lizzy by the second. "We gotta get to L."

* * *

 


	16. Sweaters for the Homeless

* * *

When the water splashes over her face, Lizzy stirs from her dark, dreamless sleep. She coughs out some of the liquid that had gone in her open mouth and down her throat as her head pounds even harder than before. Once she stops sputtering from the water, she inhales hard. Fuck, her head is absolutely killing her. Like before she tries to bring her hand to her injury but, like before, she can't get it there. The rope is still holding her in place. That's right. She's tied down and extremely well at that. Clearly Jason knows a thing or two about incapacitating a person. Her head is splitting in two, hurting harder than anything she can remember, and her body can't handle the pain at first.

"Where you going to tell me?" she hears an angry voice ask off to the side of her but she doesn't have time to register it as the pain churns her stomach.

Lizzy leans over the edge of the bed as best she can just in time. She throws up onto the concrete floor, her body reacting harshly to the pain in her temple. He must have hit her in the exact same spot as before. The feeling in her skull is now excruciating.

Spitting the last of the bile onto the floor and breathing hard with the exertion, Lizzy lays back onto the bed and tries to compose herself as well as she can. How long was she out? How have Dean and Sam not found her yet? "Shit."

"I'll ask you again," Jason's voice calls out to her, this time garnering Lizzy's full attention with its acidic sound. She turns to look at him. "Were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Lizzy asks, her breathing still ragged and voice harsh as she tries to put it all together. She feels like her brain is shattered and is having a very hard time putting the puzzle pieces back together correctly.

"You know what!" Jason accuses angrily and Lizzy starts to remember.

"Right," she foggily responds. "Not pregnant. You know, it was kinda hard to tell you with a gag in my mouth, asshole. Not sure how you expected me to fill you in."

"Watch your mouth, hunter!" Jason screams and leans down just an inch above her face. "You really ruined my day, you know that?"

"Oh, I'm so fucking sorry," Lizzy bitingly replies. "Especially when you've made  _my_  day just a basket full of sunshine and lollypops."

Jason's open hand slaps hard across her face the instant her remark is said. Her head whipping to the side, Lizzy can't help the painful groan from escaping her throat with the impact. Her head hurt enough; she didn't need the added assault. The dizzy sensation takes over for a quick few seconds, making her screw her eyes shut while she wills it away.

"You should know that I get pissed off when I'm hungry," Jason tells her, the ire fully obvious in his voice as he stands at the side of the bed she's in. "I had a lovely old lady lined up for dinner until you walked in and ruined my plans. And now that you have nothing to offer, I might have to make a dietary exception. I suggest for your own good that you _shut the fuck up_!"

Lizzy, against her stubborn and defiant nature, stays quiet while she recovers from the blow. It hurt like hell and even if she tried she wouldn't have been able to compose a solid rebuttal.

"Normally I try to avoid healthy, active people," Jason explains with disgust while running a hand down Lizzy's body starting at her neck. "The flesh is too tough, too chewy. Babies, now that's where the good stuff is. They're tender." His hand smooths down her chest and across her stomach. "Like veal."

"That's fucking gross," Lizzy groans as she regains her wits a little.

"What's gross is that I'm stuck with you," Jason returns, his hand dragging down her bare leg, making Lizzy squirm with discomfort. "You're in pique physical condition. You probably taste like shit."

"Why don't you find out? Eat me, ass-fuck," Lizzy says quickly and regrets it instantly. Fucking Dean and his mouthy attitude wearing off on her over time. That one, she's calling that one his fault.

"Wow!" Jason shouts with utter stupefaction. "You either have the most irrational case of brass balls I've ever come across or you're just fucking handicapped in the head." Jason pulls out a large butcher knife from behind his back and leans down close to her.

"Let's just call it plain stupidity," Lizzy jests lightly at her own expense while she feels the blade tip against the hollow spot of her neck. Swallowing hard, she can feel the point of the cold, metal knife jab her slightly with the movement.

"Who's the one with the death wish now, huh Jessie… if that is your real name?" he whispers in her ear. She feels the blade edge trail down her chest, taking the same path his hand did just moments before. "I bet it's not. Hunters always use fake names."

"Yeah, well… I'm new to the game," Lizzy quietly and nervously responds as the knife runs over her stomach, pressing down into her skin enough to make her nervous. She's been hanging around with the Winchesters enough to know that her own real name is a recognizable one by now.

"New or not, this is the last monster you're ever going to come across," Jason quips darkly while cutting into her skirt, splitting it down the middle. "My mother always told me it was impolite to play with my food." He waves the knife in her face and for the first time Lizzy actually looks scared. "But what the fuck did she know, huh?"

* * *

After picking the lock on the back door of Jason's butcher shop, Sam pockets his lock pick and pulls out his gun. Since there's a car parked out back they decided to take a more cautious and subtle approach this time. No stomping down doors. The two still-suited hunters head as quietly as possible inside, Dean walking in first. The two begin checking the store for people. The place is empty.

Dean makes a concerned face and nods for Sam to look at the front door. Hanging off of it is a sign that says 'Open', which means from the outside the sign is flipped and reads closed.

"It's only two," Sam whispers as he checks his watch. "Why would they be closed?"

"Beats me…" Dean answers but stops when they both hear something moving. They turn towards the sound and see a door just cracked open. Without communicating, Dean heads for it, Sam hot on his heels.

Prying the heavy door open very slowly and silently, they both see the crude wooden steps leading down to a basement. They can hear the sounds of someone moving even louder now that the doorway is open. Careful not to let their feet land heavily on the steps, the hunters silently make their way down to the bottom floor. Once there, they head into the very cold room off to the right.

"Don't move!" Dean shouts when he walks swiftly into the room. There's a man hunched over a long metal table with his back to him. He's wearing a white apron stained with blood.

"What?" the mysterious man asks as he starts to turn around.

"He said don't move!" Sam adds, standing tall next to Dean as they both keep their guns trained on the man. "Hands on your head!"

He drops something that makes a loud clank onto the metal tabletop before slowly bringing his hands to the back of his head, bloody gloves and all.

"Turn around," Dean demands and the man slowly does. "Where is she?"

"Where is who?" the now very confused and very frightened man asks once he gets an eyeful of the two large and armed men in front of him.

"You know who! Where is she!?" Dean booms as he recognizes that this guy isn't Jason.

"Listen, guy, I have no idea what you're talking about," the man says back to them. "I'm just here doing my job…"

"We're not fucking around here! Where's Jason?" Dean says as he gives the man a threatening look.

"My boss?" the guy says to them. "I don't know. I'm not his babysitter. I just work for him."

"Shit," Sam says under his breath. "Where is he right now?"

"I have no idea," the butcher shop worker answers. "Called a while ago and said he couldn't make it in today. Said he wasn't feeling too good. I've been stuck here by myself all day and I ran out of meat. Had to close up for a little to come down and prep some product."

Dean sighs wearily. This was the last shot they had. Where the fuck is Lizzy being held?

"You guys should check his house."

"He's not there. You have any idea where else he might be?" Dean asks, seeing that their two only known places of Jason's are coming up empty.

"Not really," he answers. "Um, can you not aim those guns at me now?"

Dean and Sam both lower their weapons and look to each other.

"What the fuck do we do now?" Dean wonders aloud while ignoring the innocent man, his head running a mile a minute on panic mode.

"We can turn the GPS on her phone on," Sam suggests.

"Can't. It's turned off."

"Call Cass then?" Sam tries again. "He can probably find her if he needs to."

"He  _has_  gotten past the rib carvings before…"

"Uh, are we good here?" the butcher asks, interrupting the two men in front of him with his hands still on his head. "I'd like to get back to work without pissing myself in fear."

Dean huffs an annoyed glance at the man before pounding his feet up the basement steps while reaching into his pocket for his phone. Sam peers at the man with pity.

"Uh… sorry… 'bout that," he quickly excuses and follows Dean.

* * *

"Jason, listen to me," Lizzy says in a slightly alarmed voice once she realizes the true danger of the situation she's in. "You do anything to me and I promise you the retribution will be ugly."

"Big threat from someone so helpless right now," he laughs, twirling his knife in his hand while clearly enjoying the fear he's putting into his latest victim.

"I'm trying to help you here," Lizzy honestly explains, seeing that this conversation is somehow holding off her captor at least for the moment. He's for once standing still and just listening to her. Keep it up, Lizzy. "My partners are  _not_  even tempered men. They find out what you did to me…"

"Yeah, not working," Jason grins his interruption. "I've been around for a long time. A  _very_  long time. I've personally watched the light go out in many a hunter's eyes at my own two hands. I've seen them come and I've seen them go. ..."

"But you've never seen ones like them," Lizzy very darkly warns. She stares Jason down with anger. "You don't want to mess with them. They've killed much worse, much scarier and much more powerful than you."

Jason's face lights up with glee. "Good," he says creepily, every one of his teeth showing. "I love a good challenge. It's been years since I've seen a formidable opponent or two."

"Wow, am I glad I'm not you right now," Lizzy shakes her head, immediately regretting it. Any movement of her skull seems to bring on a bout of vertigo followed by a good amount of pain.

"I could say the same thing about you," Jason smirks while pointing the gleaming and impressive sized butcher knife at her. "Do you know what I do for a living?"

Lizzy shrugs. "Make sweaters for the homeless out of human skin?"

"You just keep making this easier for me to want to fuck you up," Jason smiles brightly with a chuckle. "I have many jobs. I'm a part time maternity ward volunteer, I work with the elderly at three different homes… but you knew that already, didn't you?"

"Clearly."

"But those gigs don't pay," Jason explains while flicking her only remaining shoe off of her foot with the tip of his blade. "And a man has to make some kind of a living right?"

Lizzy narrows her gaze at him as he walks closer and stands right against the side of her bed.

"I'm a master at carving. A professional meat processor," he smiles. "I'm a butcher by trade."

"Of course you are," Lizzy sighs while leaning her head back onto the bed. God damn it, where are Dean and Sam? They've got to be close, right?

"Over the centuries I've hacked and carved my way through, oh, I've lost track of how many people," Jason fondly recollects. "I have to in order to eat but, you know, after a while, it started to grow on me. It became almost… fun."

"That's a sign of being a psycho, you know that right?" Lizzy's wide eyes watch Jason as he scans her form over with an absolute fascination.

"Call me what you will," he nods while never taking his eyes off her body. "But the pain, the screams… the total power I have when I can do whatever I want to a human, it's wonderful. It's a rush that nothing else can compare to. You know, being a monster has really turned me into, well, a monster." He taps the tip of the knife against his chin in contemplation. "Now the only question is…" Jason evilly grins out as he looks up into her eyes. "Where do I want to begin with you?"

* * *

 


	17. Carving the Beautiful Machine

* * *

"Hello, Dean," Castiel says as he answers his cell phone. He's finally getting used to using the ridiculous technology, even if he hasn't mastered it quite yet.

"Cass!" Dean yells into his phone, so happy the angel answered. Sam widens his eyes as he watches Dean talk before pulling him by the elbow towards the Impala parked on the street in front of Jason's butcher shop. If Cass was coming they had best not be standing in the middle of a busy road. A man in a trench coat popping out of thin air seems a little suspicious and attention grabbing in a very bad way. "We need your help. Lizzy was taken." They get into the car, Sam once more behind the wheel.

"What do you mean taken?" Castiel asks with an edge from the backseat where he suddenly appears. Dean takes a flashing second of thankful relief to see the angel there. He's going to want vengeance as much as Dean with his lifelong bond with Lizzy. Castiel will be good to have on their side right now.

"You knew where we were?" Sam asks with sudden surprise.

"Your car is still, as Elizabeth puts it, Lo-jacked."

"We found an aswang," Dean explains as he turns around and pockets his phone. "And the bitch got the jump on L. This guy is a nut job. We need to find her now!"

"But the rib carvings…" Castiel begins to explain why he wouldn't be of help but Sam interrupts him.

"You can still feel her though, right?" he asks. "Like right now, do you sense her?"

"Of course. She is not doing well. She is hurt."

"Hurt!?" Dean panics. "Hurt how!?"

"Right now, it is her head. I believe she was attacked there," Castiel tells him with a concentrated face. "But she's fearful. I think she is being threatened."

"Ok, so try and focus on that," Sam says to the angel. "If you can hone in on her really hard we might be able to follow it."

"I am not sure that will work."

"Try, damn it!" Dean commands to the powerful angel, receiving a very hate-filled look in turn. Castiel doesn't rebut the angry demand however. Instead, he closes his eyes and focuses hard on what he's feeling from her. Fright. He never feels this much fright from Lizzy as it takes a lot these days for her to reach this level of terror. And the pain that's coming from the side of her head is very strong, so much so that he's almost experiencing it as his own. He's even a little dizzy. He's zeroed in on her hard.

"West of here," Castiel says, the emotions and anguish pulling him in that direction, like it's radiating from somewhere else and pulling him in.

"West, ok," Sam says quickly, starting up the Impala. "That's a start, Cass. Keep your focus."

"Is she ok?" Dean has to ask as Sam starts driving them in the directions Castiel gives them.

"She is being brave considering the circumstances, but that is waning," Castiel says with his eyes still closed. "And quickly. I believe she is in immediate danger."

"Sammy, you gotta move," Dean says over to his brother, eyes pleading to get there to her sooner.

"Going as fast as I can, Dean," Sam says back. "We'll get there."

"Turn left," Castiel says suddenly and Sam follows his given direction, jerking the wheel hard and making the tires of the old car squeal. A silence grows in the small space as Sam drives as quickly and creatively as he can. Dean's too worried, too tense, and too scared to ask Castiel for any further information. He knows how strong Lizzy is but creatures are stronger than humans a lot of the time. He just prays she's hanging in there like the stubborn bitch she can be.

The quiet is broken when Castiel groans out in pain.

"What is it?" Sam asks quickly while glancing into the rearview mirror to see Castiel clutching his stomach, doubled over.

"It is Elizabeth," he answers in a labored voice, looking at the hunters with distress. "We need to hurry."

* * *

Screaming out into the cold, damp air of the small basement room, Lizzy can hear her own pain-filled voice echoing back to her off the walls. She recognizes how weak her yelling is making her sound but there isn't too much she can do about it. The sensation of the large, steel butcher blade dragging across her skin is awful. The straight line Jason makes from just under her ribs to her bellybutton is white hot. She can feel the blood begin to trickle down her sides in the knife's wake.

"Shit, ok, stop," Lizzy pleads the second the knife is taken away from her skin. Her blazer was cut off of her and tossed in pieces into the corner of the room minutes ago and all she has left is her already torn skirt, her underwear and bra, and ripped open white blouse, now spotted with red stains. She's sweating with the pain and rapidly coming to a very terrifying realization: Jason wasn't lying at all. He knows exactly what he's doing.

"What a baby," Jason remarks while unimpressed. "I'm just barely breaking the skin. If I wanted to really inflict some pain I would go a little deeper, cutting into the subcutaneous tissue and giving you some real problems. The body is really a fascinating thing, a near perfect machine. A thing of such beauty."

Lizzy just takes deep breaths and tries to find a good place to mentally be because right now she's letting her fears take over and with her history with panic attacks she's now at risk. Deep, slow breaths, she thinks. Just as Dean always tells her. Take control of it, make that panic attack her bitch. She'll be ok. She can handle this. She's better than this.

"Some machines are more beautiful than others of course," Jason comments as he moves up to stand behind her at the top of the hospital bed. He trails his fingers across her chest, following her collarbones. "You, my foul-mouthed dear, are quite the example."

Staring daggers at him as he leans over and hovers above her face, Lizzy feels her anger start to replace her fear once her breathing is getting under control. The only thing more powerful than her anxiety is her anger.

"Wish I could say the same for you," she bites back. She keeps running her mouth now to keep Jason talking. The more she talks to him and the more he keeps his attacks on the superficial side, the more time she has. She can live with scars. She's lived with plenty of them for years now. Lizzy just wants to get out of this alive at this point.

"I bet you get by a lot on your looks, don't you?" Jason says to her calmly. "Get what you want out of any guy? Shake your ass and get a free drink? Bat those eyelashes and get treated like the princess you think you are?"

Wow does he not know her at all. What assumptions. Lizzy stares at him with hatred for a beat before fluttering her eyelashes. "Did it work?" she asks with an acidic attitude.

In an inhumanly quick flash of gleaming metal, Lizzy feels a wet trail make its way down her cheek before the sharp bite hits her face.

"Not gonna be so pretty now with that big gash in your face, are you?"

"Fucking asshole!" she growls in his face as she struggles against the ropes tying her back. The rope rubs and burns her skin but she fights it uselessly anyways as it's all she has.

"That's gonna scar quite nicely."

Sitting by while he mangles her body is not something Lizzy can handle lying down, literally. "You're gonna die! I fucking swear!"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll get me good," Jason patronizingly returns with his confidence on high. He makes another, this time vertical, slash on the other side of her face, going slowly unlike before. She takes his time and enjoys the moment as Lizzy shouts out her frustrations.

"They're gonna rip you apart!" Lizzy spits right back as Jason finishes up and moves to her left side. He looks her over, enjoying his work so far, before taking up the sleeve of her white button down. "And I promise you they won't make it quick with what you've done. You'll suffer for this." She knows how true it is. She almost has pity for him with what Dean and Sam will do to him once they find her down here. She's starting to think they will be too late at this point.

"And if I told you how many hunters I've, let's say, taken care of in my life, you'd know why I'm not too concerned."

Slipping the butcher knife between her clothing and forearm, Jason lifts the knife quickly, splitting the fabric wide open.

"Well you haven't met these two yet because you're still breathing," she glares in a low growl as her dripping wounds on her face cover her complexion bright red. "Demons, monsters, even angels are scared of my family."

"Family?" Jason questions, lifting her arm to inspect it once he sees that it's covered in tattoos. "I thought they were your hunting buddies?"

"Same fucking difference," Lizzy says slowly as she leans up and stares with utter abhorrence into the monster's eyes. "When they see what you've done to me you'll wish you never saw my face… ugly gashes or not."

Jason finally pauses for a moment and Lizzy starts to believe that he might be second guessing himself and starting to take her seriously. She's wrong.

Lifting her arm up as high as the rope will allow, he asks her, "Who's this?" He points the tip of his blade to the large tattoo.

Lizzy's eyes scan over the image of Lou on her own forearm. She loved that tattoo. It's her favorite piece. It reminded her every day of the sister she misses and of what could happen at any given day in their lives. Lou died because of this job and Lizzy might be joining her soon. The image of her beloved best friend makes her want to cry with helplessness in the moment.

"It's no one," Lizzy lies as Jason smirks.

"Seems like someone," he challenges. "Looks to me like with all the dates and names and Latin verses on your arms that you don't get anything unless it means something to you. Who is this?"

"It was an idea I had. It's no one real." Fuck this guy if he thinks Lizzy's is going to talk about her Lou with him.

"I feel like you're lying."

"Why would I lie to you?" Lizzy caustically asks him, her teeth clenching so hard it hurt.

"Then you won't miss it," Jason smiles wide as he quickly brings his knife to the center of her wrist and slashes a deep line down the length of her inside forearm.

"NO!" Lizzy instantly bellows out from deep within herself. She isn't sure if it's the sight of Lou's image getting sliced in half almost ironically or the fact that she, just like her sister, is about to die at the hands of a thing that goes bump in the night. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…" she chants as she watches the copious amounts of rushing red blood trail in fast streams down her arm. The slapping sounds of the pooling liquid rapidly dripping onto the concrete floor below her makes her heart race with the realization. This is it. She's done. She's going to die. It's all over for her. "No, no, no, no, no…"

"Now there it is," Jason says, leaning over her from the side of the bed, a hand braced to the railings on either side of her. He comes so close that Lizzy can feel his breath on her cheeks. "It took a whole hell of a lot to get it out of you but that face right there, the panic and the emotions working overtime to accept what's happening, to accept imminent death… right now, you are truly, humanly beautiful."

"You're fucking sick!" Lizzy shouts to him with panicked fright before spitting in his face. She's already feeling a little weak but she mustered enough strength to disrespect him at least one last time.

"Eh," he shrugs, backing away a bit and running a hand down his face to wipe away her saliva. "Killing in cold blood just to survive will, over time, turn anyone a little bit on to the distorted side. I let the evil take me. I've found a way to enjoy what would nauseate most. Such is life."

"Oh fuck," Lizzy lays back in the bed and looks to the damp ceiling. She's going to bleed out. Dean didn't find her in time. Dean. "Oh no." She begins to freak out in a whole new way. "I can't leave him. I can't leave him behind!"

She leans up again and looks at Jason, a whole new perspective and attitude in place.

"You can't do this! You have to help me! You can't let me die!" The tears start pouring down as she finds the real reason for her to truly become horrified.

"And what would be your wonderful explanation for that?" Jason's heard it all before, every bargain and reason in the book from the desperate humans about to die at his hand, so his nonchalance is not surprising.

"He needs me," she explains, the blood loss already making her woozy. "He can't live without me. He'll… he'll… damn it, I can't leave him! Neither of them!" Hot, wet tears fall down her face and she realizes how desperate she's become with the thought of what she'd be leaving behind her. She can't abandon him like this.

"Heard this one before," the monster answers without surprise. "The selfless, Mother Teresa, I need to live to help others crap… such a stale plea, really."

"No, no," Lizzy answers, dropping her hands helplessly to her sides with her growing lack of strength. The blood makes a swiftly growing red stain of concerning size on the bed beside her. "No, he has to have me or he'll kill himself. I know it." The conversation they had just a few months before while she was cursed by that gypsy comes back clear as day. He told her that he'd never make it without her, he wouldn't try. Now she fears for a world without Dean in it to defend it. This can't happen. "Please." Her plea comes out weakly in a quiet, hopeless voice

"Aw, a hunter in love," Jason coos patronizingly. "How terribly cute."

"Cass, please," she tries another avenue. She knows he can't find her, that he can't come help her, but she hopes irrationally that he can hear her. He never has before, not since the rib carvings, but she's so desperate she has to try. She can't move on to the afterlife without making sure Dean knew. "Cass, you have to tell him I'm sorry."

Jason stays quiet, confused by her words. She's calling out to someone in a way he's never seen a victim do before. She might be insane, he thinks.

"You have to tell him for me," she cries. "Please, look after him. He'll kill himself. You have to stop him. He can't. Sam needs him." She cries, her sobs choking her voice as she feels her strength quickly leaving her. "He has to know I love him. Love him so much. I'm so sorry."

"I've seen desperation do some crazy things to people before," Jason tells her, his curiosity getting to him. "But you might be the craziest bitch I've come across…."

The loud bang heard from the floor above them stops Jason mid-sentence. Lizzy flinches just slightly with it, blinking the tears from her vision. She knows immediately what's going on. He came for her.  _They_  came for her.

"Dean!" Lizzy shouts out as loudly as her remaining strength could manage.

* * *

 


	18. And the Damage Done

* * *

"Dean!" Lizzy shouts out as loudly as her remaining strength could manage when she hears the movement coming from the floor above her. He came for her.  _They_  came for her. She already knows it.

"L!?" Dean shouts back when he hears her call out his name weakly. Castiel led them to a random house out in the suburbs of the city that was well kept, clean, and totally inconspicuous... that is until Dean saw the reinforced, sound proof basement door. Looks like Jason had a second property to use for his 'needs'. It took a few kicks but he managed to open the door. Dean pounds his feet down the steps, stake in hand and adrenaline flooding him. "Sam! Basement!" he shouts to his brother that is checking the second floor.

"Now you're fucked," Lizzy sneers darkly up to Jason with some of the last of her energy left. She's ready to see this monster go down for what he's done to her and so many others. He deserves absolutely everything that's coming to him.

Standing up from his hunched spot over Lizzy's laying form, Jason smiles with delight. "What an opportunity. You get to watch the man you love die right before you do. How twisted."

"No," Lizzy pants out, her strength disappearing by the second. "Dean… wait…"

She watches as Jason stands against the wall by the doorway, oversized knife at the ready, as Dean's footsteps can be heard getting closer.

"Knife," Lizzy says as loudly as she can manage. "By the door. Has a knife."

Dean could make out her words thankfully as the basement is nearly silent. She's warning him of what to expect when he gets to her. She's giving him the upper hand. Atta' girl.

The second Dean takes the first step into the small room he ducks under the quickly sweeping blade. Jason's butcher knife slices through the air and clashes against the concrete wall, causing sparks after it misses its mark. Dean quickly swings the butt of the stake into Jason's stomach like a bat, making him double over. Once he hits the ground, Dean kicks the creature in the stomach hard with his boot, making Jason groan with the impact. For good measure he lands a swift kick to his face immediately after, ensuring he'd be down for at least a few seconds.

"Dean."

He sharply turns toward Lizzy's quiet voice and looks at her for the first time.

"Shit." His eyes blow wide as he pauses where he is. The sight of her makes his breathing stop, his heart stop, his world stop. She's been mangled. Her face is bleeding from large, deep slices, one on each cheek. Her hair is a mess, matted with the blood dripping down her pallid face and the sweat coating her skin. She's tied in place, her wrists and ankles raw from the rough rope binds and her clothes, or what's left of them, are torn and open. She's bleeding from the long cut running down her stomach and, much more concerning, the deep and profusely seeping slice spanning her forearm. She's bleeding out as he stands there. He knows it. She's dying. "Fuck. L…"

Walking towards her to help, Dean's feet are swept out from under him. He lands on his stomach hard, his cheek bone hitting the cement under him hard and making him groan in pain. The impact takes some of the air out of his lungs and causing him to drop the wooden stake as he does. Breathing in as deeply as he can, he turns over onto his back to get a view of what's happening.

"I love a good fight," Jason says with evil glee, his nose trickling blood as its set at an off angle from Dean's foot. He brings the butcher knife overhead, grasping the handle tight with both hands. He plunges it down hard point first and Dean has to roll quickly to avoid getting stabbed through the chest. Scrambling to his feet, Dean backs up quickly, putting a distance between himself and the aswang. Jason now stands in the way of his weapon, blocking his path to it. Shit.

"Dean!" Sam calls out as he runs into the room, glancing at the scene. He sees the amount of blood on and beneath Lizzy and he huffs out his panic. Then he sees Dean about to be cornered by Jason, his only weapon on the floor and way out of reach.

Seeing Lizzy like that, what Jason had done to her, Sam's seeing red. His anger issue might actually come in handy right about now. He charges the monster with no regard for the massive knife in his hand, and tackles him into the hard wall. Sam then takes the opportunity of Jason being dazed from the back of his head getting smashed into the solid wall and grabs his wrist holding the knife. He slams Jason's hand into the wall but the monster keeps his grip tight. Trying again, this time Jason couldn't hold on. The metal blade clatters to the floor just as Jason takes a swing at Sam with his free hand.

Falling back a few steps, Sam's cheek throbs with the massive force of Jason's fist. This monster is damn strong. Jason takes the open chance and rushes forward with his hands aimed at Sam's neck. Right before he can reach the hunter, Dean steps behind Jason and links his arms under the creature's shoulders, locking him in tight. Dean holds him in place as Jason struggles, swinging and kicking in anger.

"You can't stop me!" Jason wildly proclaims as Sam steps forward, punching him square in the face to shut him up.

Jason's head reels to the side and before he can say anything or even recover from the forceful blow, Sam is landing another fist to the other side of his face. Then his chin. Then his already broken nose.

Sam, riding high on anger and revenge, pauses only to grasp onto Jason's face, his nails digging into his swollen cheeks as he forces the aswang to look at him.

"You did that?" Sam points to Lizzy behind him.

No response comes from Jason other than the mouthful of his own blood that he spits in Sam face.

Eyes wide with the offense, Sam starts in again. Dean holds hard onto the evil thing as Sam viciously and mercilessly attacks Jason. Uncountable blows later, Sam backs off exhausted and with fists covered in the aswang's blood.

Dean struggles to keep the Jason's large weight up as he wavers after the beating.

"Look at her," Dean growls in Jason's ear as he forces him to look over at what he's done. "You don't get to have her. You hear me!?"

Dean shoves the faltering body to the floor, Jason hitting it with a harsh thud. Sam passes Dean his stake and Dean stands over the struggling aswang. Without hesitance, he shoves the stake straight through Jason's heart.

"No one touches her," Dean growls with flared nostrils as he peers with utter hatred into Jason's eyes as the life begins fading from them. "She's mine!"

Jason drops back onto the floor, twitching with the attack on him.

"Help… Dean," Lizzy softly calls out. "Sam. Please."

"Sam! Torch!" Dean calls to his brother to grab the final step needed to put Jason down for good. Sam runs out the door to the duffel he dropped just outside the small room as Dean rushes to Lizzy's side.

"L, Jesus," he says with fear for her as he takes off his jacket. Looking her over he's seeing everything he cares about most drifting away far too quickly. The amount of blood terrifies him. No one, not even the strongest woman he's ever met, can handle this. There's no way this is really happening. "Lizzy, come on. Say something to me."

"Dean."

It's too quiet. Her voice is barely there as her eyes begin rolling back. Dean yanks his tie open and out from his collar as quickly as he can.

"Fuck," Dean complains with her condition as he uses his tie as a tourniquet, pulling it tightly around her arm just above the slice in it. He then takes out his knife to cut her loose. "We're gonna get you outta here, ok?"

Sam, homemade torch in hand, wastes no time in lighting up the barely alive aswang on the floor. One blast of fire and the creature lights up instantly with a deep, harsh bellow. Once his body is consumed by flames and sure to burn through, Sam runs to the opposite side of the hospital bed.

"We gotta go," Sam says with panic as he takes out a folding knife of his own to help cut the rope binds. She's bleeding to death and the fire will surely take a life of its own soon enough.

"I know," Dean lets out as he wraps her arm up in his jacket as tightly as he can. "L, talk to me. Say anything at all, doesn't matter what it is. I need to hear your voice, ok?"

"Mm," she sounds in pain when her limbs are freed. Everything hurts, yet nothing seems to hurt enough. She thinks she should feel more pain but she doesn't.

"Focus, Lizzy. You can do this," Dean tries again as he brings his arms under for form and lifts her up as gingerly as he can in his panicked hurry. "Look at me."

Fighting the drowsy, wonderfully comforting sleep that is calling her name, she pries her eyes open as best she can and searches.

"Look up," he tries again as he looks down at her and turns to head out the doorway of the small room.

She listens and quickly locks onto his green eyes when she's able to actually find them. He looks so scared. She must be a disaster to see.

"Good," Dean tells her as he begins following Sam out of the basement while carrying her. "Now you need to talk to me."

"'bout wha'?" she struggles out.

"Anything, baby," Dean tells her, his feet flying up the stairs to the first floor. "Pick anything."

"Dean, 'm sorry," she apologized quietly.

"Sorry for what?" he asks, only half listening as he approaches the front door of the house. As long as she's talking she's still with him and that's all he cares about.

"Don' wanna leave…" she tries to explain but it's coming out broken. "Gonna leave you… please."

"L, I don't know what you're talking about," Dean says to her as he leaves the building, though he's lying. He knows exactly what she's trying to tell him.

Sam opens a backseat door for him before rushing to the other side of the car.

"Don' give up… without me…" She's slightly aware that she might not be making any sense, but she's doing the best she can. He has to know this, has to keep going without her. "You… always fight…"

"Don't say that crap, L," he tells her, certainly not able handle hearing her giving up right now.

As Sam props the formerly lying down and seriously ailing Castiel up into a seated position on the other side of the backseat, Dean lays Lizzy down next to him with her head in the angel's lap.

"Snap out of it, Cass!" Dean shouts over to him, having seen the angel go downhill quickly along with Lizzy. "L needs you! Fix her!"

* * *

 


	19. Knocking on Heaven's Door

* * *

As Sam props the formerly lying down and seriously ailing Castiel up into a seated position on the other side of the backseat, Dean lays Lizzy down next to him with her head in the angel's lap.

"Snap out of it Cass!" Dean shouts over to him. "L needs you! Fix her!"

Castiel looks down into his lap at the woman who's eyes are just barely open.

"Elizabeth," Castiel quietly calls out. Once he tapped into her in order to find her, he got lost inside her state. He's been experiencing everything she has, from the pain to the fear to the losing battle against bleeding out. He feels weak and isn't sure he can do anything for her at this point. He needs to find his way back out of her being.

"Cassie…" she whispers up to him, her uninjured arm coming up to brush his cheek, her fingers leaving behind a smudge of her blood on his pale skin before dropping back down lifelessly. It took all her strength to simply do that.

"Cass! Come on!" Dean shouts once he's in the front seat of the car. "Sam, hospital! Now!"

Sam begins driving them to the nearest emergency room on the chance that Castiel can't pull it together.

"Help… Dean. For me," Lizzy says Castiel, asking for him to watch over the man she loves once she's gone before her eyes roll back again.

"Get you're shit together, Cass!" Dean angrily yells as he turns around in his seat and reaches over to grab Castiel's hands. "Help her!"

Castiel sluggishly peers up at Dean and sees the desperation in his eyes as the hunter positions his hands onto Lizzy's jacket-covered forearm.

"Listen to me. You love her too, I know you do," Dean says sternly to the angel. "And I can't help her right now. You  _have_  to. Please Cass, pull it together! Heal her!"

Castiel closes his eyes and concentrates on extracting himself from the depths of Lizzy's being. He needs to remember that he's her protector, the thing that has had the privilege of watching over her since before birth and right now, she's never needed him more. Lizzy is going to die if he doesn't climb out of this. His Elizabeth, his sweet, kind little girl turned strong, good-hearted savior will die before her time to truly shine.

He can feel the pain begin leaving him and his strength gathering in his grace. The knowledge that he can help Lizzy is what breaks him away and slowly he starts to feel like himself again.

"How close are we?" Dean panics when he sees Castiel struggling. He's starting to think the angel on her shoulder really won't be able to help her.

"Few more blocks," Sam swiftly replies, his voice just as worry-filled as Dean's.

"D'n," Lizzy barely gets out as she's losing her battle quickly.

"Right here, L," Dean answers as he reaches for her hand, the dread in his heart growing with her paling skin. He holds on hard and she barely has the strength to squeeze his hand back.

"Always… L've you…" she struggles through, needing to let him know one last time that no matter what happens, dead or not, her heart is all his.

"No! You are  _not_  doing that right now!" Dean angrily tells her and he realizes that tears are suddenly falling down his face as he's forced to see the moment for what it is. Their last. "L, please. You  _gotta_  hang on. You aren't leaving me."

"No." Even Lizzy isn't sure what she's trying to say now.

"Remember what you said? You said you would never leave me, right?" Dean reminds her of her promise. "So stay with me here. You can do this."

Lizzy's heavy lids drop closed and her hand goes slack in Dean's grip.

"No," Dean worries, his hand reaching to her bleeding cheek and shaking it. "No, no, no, Lizzy! Hey!"

She doesn't respond at all.

"Shit," Sam whispers as he peers at her through the rearview mirror as he pulls up to the emergency room bay. "Dean?"

"Lizzy! Come on!" his terrified voice calls out to her again, shaking her harder this time. "Stay with me!"

"Dean, is she dead?" Sam panics completely.

"Oh God," Dean fears when the car stops in front of the large glass sliding doors. "Cass! Please! Fucking help!" he screams in desperation.

Sam shoves the driver's side door open and stands up in a rush. "Hey!" he shouts to the hospital workers milling around the entrance. "We need help here! Somebody!"

Castiel, his abilities finally returning enough for him to function, looks out the car window at the medical professionals rushing to the car and makes a snap decision.

"Fuck!" Dean shouts with full ire when the angel disappears before his eyes and Lizzy's head drops lifelessly onto the back seat. "Shit! No, no." How could Castiel do this to her? How could he abandon her like this!?

Rushing out of the passenger seat, Dean sprints around the car and opens the door to the back seat. He hooks his arms under her shoulders, pulling her towards him as the E.R. workers reach their car. They begin helping Dean get her out and onto the waiting stretcher.

"What the hell happened?" a doctor asks the second he gets an eyeful of the severely injured woman with blood all over her, clothes torn to shreds, and a suit tie-tourniquet tightly around her arm.

"She was attacked," Sam answers when Dean doesn't. "She's bleeding out from a cut in her forearm."

"She's lost a  _lot_  of blood," the doctor comments as he takes out his penlight to shine in Lizzy's eyes. "She get hit in the head too?"

"I think so," Sam answers as the hospital crew takes over.

"Might have been a few times," he comments, examining the damage to her temple.

As the doctor starts rattling off a lot of medical jargon that Sam and Dean don't understand in the least, they start wheeling her swiftly into the building and down a long hallway. Sam follows behind the group but Dean doesn't let go of her uninjured hand even once on the trek. He keeps up pace with the medical workers, staring down at the person he knows better than himself but can barely recognize. The completely slack facial features, the stark white lips blending into her ghostly skin, the blood and slices marring her perfect face… this isn't happening. It's not real. This is not how this is supposed to happen. It's too soon for one of them to go down. They haven't had enough time yet.

"Sir, you need to wait here," a petite nurse says to Dean with a hand pressing to his chest, forcing him to stop walking. As the stretcher keeps rolling he loses his grip on Lizzy's hand. It falls heavily off the edge of the stretcher and hangs there as she's rolled into a small room.

"I need to stay with her," Dean quickly assures and takes a step forward. The nurse stands in front of him and blocks his way into the curtained area.

"We need all the space we can get in there…"

"I'm not leaving her," he determinedly says as he watches the group of medical professionals swarm Lizzy's unconscious form.

"For her benefit…"

"She's my wife!" Dean practically screams at the petite woman just trying to do her job while stepping into her personal space. "I have to be in there!"

"Dean," Sam calls out to his brother, seeing the meltdown happening. He grabs his brother by the bicep and pulls him back a little. "We need to let them do what they have to do."

"The best thing you could do for your wife right now is fill out the necessary forms," the patient woman tells Dean as she grabs a clipboard and stack of five forms. She holds them out for him to take. "We will be down to update you as soon as possible."

Sam grabs the paperwork when Dean just blankly stares over at the doctor and nurses hooking Lizzy up to machines and IV lines.

"We'll do everything we can, but for now…"

"A-positive," Dean blurts out suddenly when his brain pops some very useful information into his thoughts. "She's blood type A-positive."

"That's excellent to know," the nurse tells him.

"I'm O-positive," he frantically continues. "She lost a lot of blood. If you need blood, I can give her blood."

"We will absolutely keep that in mind," the nurse assures. "Does she have any allergies, specifically to medications?"

"Um… I, ah," Dean struggles to get his brain back. It had one quick moment of clarity and now it's back to panic, fright, and absolute desolation.

"No," Sam answers for Dean. "Nothing she's aware of."

"What is her name?"

"Elizabeth," Dean speeds out. "Ah, Lizzy."

"Thank you," the nurse says. "If you head down this hall there is a waiting area. Go there, fill out the forms and we'll be in to talk to you as soon as we can." She closes the curtain around the working crew and the last glimpse Dean gets of Lizzy is one in which a tube is being inserted down her throat and a doctor is kneeling over her while starting chest compressions. Her body limp and bloody, that can't be the last image he has of her. It can't be. That's not her. Lizzy is bright, beautiful, and full of life even when she shouldn't be.

As the chaos continues loud and clear from the other side of the curtain, Dean just stares at the ugly green fabric separating him and the love of his life who's just hanging on by a thread. He reaches blindly back to his right and his hand lands on Sam's chest. He blindly grabs hard onto the lapel of Sam's suit jacket as if it's his lifeline.

"Sammy," is all he can force out in his terror-stricken state.

Sam can feel Dean's hand shaking with his grasp. The shock he himself is in won over for a while there. Hell he's not even sure if he really drove to the hospital. He barely remembers the trip. But Dean's going to go off the deep end if he doesn't rein him back in and quick, there will be problems.

"Hey," Sam says while taking Dean's grip off of his jacket and holds onto his brother's shoulder. "They're gonna do whatever they can to help her." Sam doesn't even believe his own words. The panic in his chest is heavy and mind-numbing. Right now, however, he needs to be Dean's rock. As much as Sam loves and cares about Lizzy, considers her his family even, Dean is a whole different situation. That's the only person Dean cares about as much as his little brother and she could be gone at any second. His big brother is going to need someone to hold him up right now and considering how many times he's done that for Sam before, Sam's willing to do whatever he can.

"This is so bad, Sammy," Dean pleads, lip trembling and tears still falling while begging with his eyes for Sam to fix everything, to make everything ok and make Lizzy ok.

"I know," Sam doesn't lie. They need to come to terms with this. "It's not good."

"She looked… oh God," Dean chokes out when the sight of her comes back into his mind. "Son of a bitch. I'm gonna lose her."

"Don't say that, Dean. Try to have some hope here," Sam says, blinking away his own tears while grabbing harder to Dean's shoulder in order to ground him. Biting the inside of his cheek, Sam does what he can to stay strong. "Come on. Let's go to the waiting room."

Dean shakes his head no and looks back to the closed curtain, the serious tones of voice paired with the still frantic sounding movement on the other side doing nothing to calm his absolute horror.

"We have to," Sam continues to try as she guides Dean down the hall by his shoulder. Dean's eyes meet Sam's briefly once more and Sam wants to cry right away. There is nothing he's ever seen that has broken his heart more than the look of absolute devastation in Dean's eyes right now.

Silently they walk down the hallway and into the waiting area they were directed to. Once inside, Sam takes a seat and starts reading over the paperwork to keep himself busy while Dean starts frantically pacing around the small room. Sam realizes quickly that they need to get their stories straight when he finds he isn't even sure what last name to write down for Lizzy. And he knows that with the condition she showed up in the cops will be there for questioning soon enough.

"Dean, we need to…"

"Be right back," Dean interrupts as he heads out the door of the waiting room.

"Wait, Dean!" Sam stands up and runs out into the hallway. "We need to fill this crap out!"

"Five minutes," Dean darkly responds while reaching in his pocket to get out his phone.

* * *

"Listen to me you cowardly son of a bitch," Dean bites into his cell phone. "You get your feathery ass down here now and you save her! She's dying, Cass! Dying! And you have the juice to help her. I know you're cut off from the heavenly mojo or whatever, but you have to try! You owe her that!"

Dean paused for a moment, getting his anger in check.

"You abandoned us. You abandoned  _her_. What the fuck were you think…. I need her, man. You can't let her die. I can't do  _any_  of this without her. She's…. You don't come help her, she's gonna die! You do understand that, right!? She's gonna d…."

"To rerecord this message, press 1…." the voice recording starts in as it cuts him off and Dean snaps the phone shut in anger.

One hand on his hip and the other gripping his phone so hard he thinks he could break it, Dean looks around him. The bright, sunny Los Angeles day feels the exact opposite of what he feels on the inside. The emergency bay is quiet right now, almost peaceful. He, as a force of habit, brings a hand up to wash down his face and rid himself of the tears streaking it, but when he does he sees the red coloring coating his fingers. Looking down at himself, he realizes that he's covered with Lizzy's blood. It's darkly staining his blue suit, her favorite suit that anytime he wore it was a guarantee that she'd rip it off of him later. That makes him think that she might never get do that to him again. She won't touch him, she won't kiss him, she won't make fun of him or call him Hot Shot, or say she loves him ever again if she dies. He wants to scream. Or run. Or punch something.

Dean does none of those things. Instead, after looking around to make sure he's alone, he closes his eyes with a sigh.

"Alright," Dean stubbornly starts to speak. "I know you exist and I know that you can hear me. For whatever reason you have a bit of a hard on for me, so here goes nothing. She's hurt. She could die. The shitty life you handed us, you can't let this happen. I've always known that… this could…."

Dean sighs his sorrow out and pauses for a moment, collecting his thoughts. This was his nightmare coming true.

"We're hunters. We've already outlived our life expectancy so I know I'm asking a lot here. Lizzy is…" Dean brings the back of his hand to his face to wipe the fresh tears, small streaks of red on his cheeks left in its wake. "She can't go down like this, not yet. There's so much left for her to do, so much left you need her here with me for. She's too good, she's too…" Dean can't get the words out any longer. It hurt too damn much to even try.

Standing alone, blood covered and crying, the final wave of emotion hits him. Dean gets pissed.

"You owe her this!" he shouts out to the blue sky above. "You ruined her life! You made her this perfect piece of tail to trick me! She's a fucking human being, not your little bitch! You owe her! You owe  _me_!"

* * *

 


	20. Oh, I Believe in Miracles

* * *

Sam is currently lost in the paperwork he diligently tries to fill out in Dean's absence as he continues to do his best to keep his crushing worry and sorrow at bay. He's sitting in one of the basic chairs in the waiting room and he's answering all the questions he possibly can. He's decided to go with Elizabeth Smith as the name on the form since the bunk insurance card they have is for the Smith family and Dean claimed Lizzy to be his wife. Why the hell he said that, Sam isn't sure. He has to assume it's because Dean thought he'd have a better chance of staying with her if they were legally married. Truthfully, Sam's willing to bet there isn't a married couple that knows each other better or loves each other more than Dean and Lizzy do. No one would second guess it.

"Excuse me?" a voice interrupts his thoughts and when he looks up he sees the doctor that was working on Lizzy the second they arrived. Disturbingly, his scrubs have a fair amount of blood on them but the expression on his face is soft, hopeful almost.

"Yes!" Sam eagerly answers and stands up immediately. Where the fuck did Dean go? "How is she?"

"Where's Lizzy's husband?"

"Out, for a walk. I'm her family though. Is she ok?" Sam's expression is crazed and searching. He needs answers.

"Honestly, with the condition she was in when you arrived I wasn't even sure she could be saved," the doctor begins without sugar coating it. "And if I knew how to explain what I saw once we started working on her, I'd be happy to, but I just… can't."

"What the hell happened?" Sam asks with serious concern.

"She just… got better," he tells the hunter simply. "One second we are performing artificial respiration just to keep her alive and the next she's fine. The color came back to her skin, she's breathing on her own, she stopped bleeding… I swear, give it a day or two and she might not even have the scars to prove this ever happened."

"Holy shit," Sam lets slip in his awe of what he's told.

"You said it, man," the doctor concurs, still in his own shock over what he witnessed. "Now, she's not awake yet, and I'm absolutely keeping her here for a least a day or two to be sure she's alright. For now, however, things are looking remarkably, inexplicably good for her."

Sam exhales hard with a small smile as the tears start to form along his bottom lids with his happiness. She's ok. Lizzy's alive and she's fine. It must have been Castiel. He must have come through after all. Sam heart races with happiness as the first thankful tears start to fall down his cheeks.

"Do you think you could go get her husband?" the doctor asks. "I would like to inform him of everything and let him know he can see her now."

"Yeah," Sam says, his grin growing in size with the sheer relief he feels. "I'll get him right now."

* * *

"You owe her!" Dean screams himself horse in the emergency room bay as his anger flies. "You owe  _me_!

Breaking down a little more, he covers his face with the back of his hand, one of the few parts of him free from Lizzy's blood.

"I need her so much," he whispers to God or anything else that will listen and help. "Please…"

"Dean!" Sam calls as he runs out of the E.R. entrance to wards him.

"Shit," Dean balls up his fists when he hears Sam's voice and looks away, trying to hide the sadness written in his face.

"She's ok!"

"What!?" Dean questions incredulously and turns sharply to look at his brother in confusion.

"The doctor said he's never seen it before," Sam rushes out, a smile on his face and obvious cry lines marking his cheeks. "She's going to be fine."

"How!?"

"No one knows," Sam answers, still smiling. "She just kinda pulled through and started healing up. They said you can go see her."

He didn't need to be told twice. Dean's feet were moving before he even knew it was happening.

* * *

Running into the curtained off room that Lizzy had been worked on in, Dean stops short and has to stare with bewilderment at her for a second. No tubes down her throat, no torn up and stained clothing. She just looked like she was peacefully asleep. Wearing a hospital gown, most of the blood that had been covering her has been washed away and her skin is back to its usual color. She looked nearly perfect. The two cuts on her face are the only obvious signs of what she went through, but even those look like they've been healing at an increased rate.

"Holy crap," Dean whispers to himself with the shock as he walks to stand next to her bed, Sam standing to the other side. "How is that…?"

"Possible?" a voice finishes for Dean. Looking over sharply, Dean and Sam see the doctor who'd been working on Lizzy.

"Yeah," Dean quietly says. "How?"

"I've never seen it before in my life." The doctor picks up the metal file hanging at the foot of Lizzy's bed. "Mr. Smith, your wife came in here with hardly enough blood to pump through her system. She was bleeding out quickly, her heart rate barely there. At one point we had to start compressions just to keep her heart going. She wasn't breathing on her own and if I am to be completely honest, I feared the worst for her. Doing this job as long as I have, it's pretty obvious to see when someone is too far gone to save. I thought Lizzy was one of those."

Dean nods, and peers back down to Lizzy for a second. He's having a hard time keeping his focus on the doctor and not on her. Looking at her keeps confirming for him that she's still kicking and that he really didn't lose her. He picks up her hand and holds tightly to it. His right fingers weaving into hers, he closes his left hand around her wrist and feels his own heart skip a beat when he can make the steady drumming of her pulse under his fingertips. He closes his eyes briefly to keep from succumbing to grateful sobs right then and there.

"So what happened?" Sam asks, his hunter's curiosity kicking in.

"Well, in the middle of chest compressions her heart just kind of jump started itself, much like if we had shocked it back to life but we hadn't. The car was still charging up at that point. In seconds, her heartbeat was strong, perfect. Then I literally watched as her skin went from pale and drained right back to normal in about five minutes time. We were only able to get her one pint of blood through transfusion but somehow she's back to normal, like her blood regenerated itself faster than humanly possible."

"So she's fine?" Dean has to check. "Just… fine?"

"Absolutely." The doctor writes a few notes onto the medical paperwork he's holding before replacing it to its place hanging on the end of her bed. "After what she went through, she's probably exhausted so she might be out for a while. We gave her a sedative also, to make sure she got enough rest. Could be sleeping for some time but considering how impossibly well her body is handling the assault she could be awake at any second for all we can tell."

"Ah," Dean starts to say to the man that saved Lizzy, his voice choked as he blows out a breath of relief. "Thank you… so much."

"Honestly, don't thank me, Mr. Smith." The doctor shakes his head in disbelief. "You better thank whatever it is watching over her because I'm pretty sure that what just happened would fall under the miracle category, not medical."

He goes to leave the family for a moment but stops short. "Uh, I need to warn you that I have to report this to the police. She came in here with clear signs of attack and we are legally bound to inform law enforcement when that happens."

"We completely understand," Sam assures the doctor as his mind begins racing, looking for ways to explain away Lizzy's injuries and her recovery. "Um, do you think you could hold off a while? I don't think we'll be of much help until we have some time to sort through everything, process it all." Sam nods to Dean inconspicuously as he hopes for a little mercy on the doctor's part.

"I'll do what I can," the doctor smiles, studying the shock and pain and love on Dean's face as he looks Lizzy over. "I'm sure they'll be here sometime late tonight, possibly tomorrow. They'll want to talk to you both and Lizzy also once she's up."

After the doctor is gone Dean and Sam share a look of bewilderment.

"Cass?" Sam questions.

"Better be," Dean frighteningly responds.

"What else would have done this?" Sam asks his brother, confused by his comment.

"These days, Sammy… who the fuck knows." In the back of his mind he has to wonder if someone was listening to him outside the hospital. Cass doesn't have the level of juice anymore for that kind of rapid recovery and he knows that. And if it wasn't Cass then who, or what, did this? It's a terrifying thought.

Looking at her again, Dean has to wonder if he cares all that much. She's still there so what did it matter the details. She didn't leave him.  _That's_  what matters.

A silence grows in the room, only the beeping of machines around them filling the air.

"We're going to move her," a nurse announces as she walks into the small portioned off area while looking at only Dean. "We have a room on the second floor. It's more private and we can get you somewhere to sit."

She begins unlocking the wheels under the hospital bed and getting everything ready to move.

"Um, I'm sorry sir, but you can't come with," the nurse gently says to Sam. "Family only."

"He is family," Dean immediately explains in a lie. "Sam's her brother."

Sam smiles small for Dean's quick thinking. The last thing he wanted to do was get exiled into waiting rooms and be stuck anywhere away from Lizzy right now. And his brother, for that matter.

"Oh, I didn't know. Sorry about that."

"It's fine," Sam nods to the nurse.

"Alright, then lets head up," the nurse says with a warm smile as she beings pushing Lizzy down the hallway.

* * *

It's a beautiful day out. The sun is shining down on her and heating her skin as she lies out in her lawn chair overlooking the bright green grass behind the modest, two story house. The lawn was just mowed and she can smell the grass in the air. The radio is playing a local rock station and 'Traveling Riverside Blues' floats all around her. Lizzy smiles to herself, loving how wonderful the moment feels. It's quiet, it's calm, it's absolutely perfect.

"For you," she hears Dean's voice happily say to her and when she turns to look to her side he's standing next to her with an extended arm.

"Thanks, Hot Shot," she says contently as she takes the offered beer.

"Fuck yard work," Dean says as he drops into the lounge chair next to her on the stone patio with a grunt, as if his body had seen a long day already. "Pain in my ass."

"Looks damn good out here though," Lizzy tells him to lessen his grumpiness.

"Fucking better," he remarks while sipping his beer. "Took me hours."

Lizzy laughs hardily at him.

"What?"

"Just think it's funny, you know?" Lizzy starts to explain herself. "Few years back you would've been bitching about digging up a dead guy, not mowing a lawn."

"At least grass smells better," Dean quips with a smirk. He sits back with an 'ah' and smiles to himself while tapping his foot along to one of his two favorite songs. Lizzy takes a moment to revel in the fact that the dirt on his shirt and jeans came from the yard,  _their_  yard, and not a  _grave_ yard. Wonders never cease.

"I can't remember the last time it was this quiet around here," Lizzy observes as she turn her face up to the sun again. "Never knew this place could be so damn peaceful."

"Well, with our little hellion running wild around this place on most days, it gets kinda hard to remember the quieter times." Dean huffs a laugh. "It's your fault he's like that you know?"

"It's my fault he's like the fucking Energizer Bunny?" Lizzy grins with disbelief.

"Oh yeah! I met you as a kid. You were exhausting, just like our little guy is. And there's a reason we've been through two babysitters this year alone."

"No one can keep up," Lizzy laughs.

"Exactly."

"You know that just means he's a pretty perfect combination of the two of us, right?" Lizzy smirks, her heart still completely filled with the thought of how awesome their son really is and how much they adore him.

"Well aware," Dean answers, knowing how true it was as he looks out to the corner of the yard with the swing set and sandbox he build for the little guy.

"But he's not a hellion," Lizzy rebuts, defending her son's honor. "He's a great kid."

"Yeah, he is, isn't he?" Dean smiles over to her.

"Totally." Lizzy downs some of her beer and sigh contently. "Speaking of, when's he expected back here?"

"I told Jake's mom to have him back by five so…" Dean checks his watch. "We have a whole two hours left with the place all to ourselves for once."

"Unheard of!"

"I know!" Dean laughs a little. Suddenly he gets an inspired look in his eyes when he leers at Lizzy, scanning her body from head to foot and then up again. "Huh. You know, I think I'm gonna go head upstairs."

"Right now?" Lizzy asks with confusion, not understanding why he doesn't want to stay out in the perfect day.

"Yeah," Dean confirms as he stands up. "Think I'm gonna take a nice, long shower after all that yard work. Maybe hang out in the bedroom for a little while. Enjoy the childless time I've got left."

He bends down to drop a kiss on Lizzy's cheek and before he stands back up he whispers in her ear, "If you're smart, you'll get that smoking MILF ass up there with me."

"Oh yeah?" Lizzy slyly asks, a smile creeping across her face with the use of his nickname for her. MILF has been his name of choice for her when horny ever since their son had been born.

"Yeah. And don't make me wait or that MILF ass is gonna be in trouble."

"The good kinda trouble I hope?" Lizzy grins, knowing that she's right.

Dean simply winks at her before walking toward the house and Lizzy grins to herself. After all they've seen and been through they are still completely crazy about each other and if it weren't for their son always being around they'd still be holed up in their house every day, constantly going at it now that they had the time to do so. Life is damn good.

Standing up to go catch up to the man that's still perfect in her eyes, even with the few wrinkles forming and the graying hair at his temples, she's stopped in her tracks.

"Cass!" Lizzy smiles when she sees him standing right in front of her suddenly and hugs him tight instantly. "Oh my God! I haven't seen you in years! Wait…" Lizzy backs off and looks the angel straight in the eye. "Why are you here? What's wrong?"

"You need to come back," Castiel flatly tells her. "You don't belong here."

"What are you talking about?" Lizzy asks him. "This is my house."

"You don't have a house, Elizabeth. And you don't have a son."

Lizzy backs away from Castiel a few steps and looks at him with terror.

"Yes I do," Lizzy confirms as the hole in her heart grows by the second. "Dean and I have lived here for a few years now, with our son. He just turned seven. Sam lives like two towns over…"

"No, he doesn't," Castiel sadly informs her. "This is an illusion. It is your brain taking over in severe crisis. In reality, you are in a hospital."

Her eyes wide, Lizzy swallows hard. "No I'm not. Come on, Cass, this is my life right here. And it's finally good…"

"You are making this much more difficult than it has to be." Looking up that the small house Castiel already feels regret for pulling her away from the life she so very much deserves, real or not. "Think hard, Elizabeth. Really think about it."

As she peers curiously at the angel she can suddenly hear the faint sound of beeping machinery, the tone marking an even pattern softly somewhere in the distance.

"You are not really here," Castiel continues. "You almost died."

Her mind flashes quickly to her being in the backseat of Dean's still beloved Impala. She can barely move, her weakness dominating her, and when she looks up she can see Castiel's struggling face above her. She was dying. She remembers that happening.

"You were taken by an aswang."

She sees glimpses of Jason's face with an evil sneer, she can remember the feel of the rope burning against her wrists and ankles as she's tied down and the fear when she sees the intimidating butcher knife in his hands as he eyes her over.

"He nearly killed you."

She can see the slice running down her forearm and shredding Lou's image on it. She can hear the slapping sound of her own blood dripping into a puddle on a concrete floor as she grew weaker by the second.

"You have to go back," Castiel tells her with sad eyes. "This isn't where you belong."

She knows it's true now. She knows this whole happy reality isn't reality at all. It's all that she's ever hoped for out of life that she is fully aware she can never have. There's no way life just suddenly handed her this happiness.

"You have to go back… to Dean."

Dean. Lizzy's mind pulls up the image of panic on his face as he holds her in his arms while rushing to the car. He looks so terrified, so absolutely frightened. She's never seen him look that scared before, never. He needs her so much so of course she'll go to him

"Shit," Lizzy laments as she feels herself returning to the real world.

* * *

 


	21. When There's a Will

* * *

The beeping sound surrounds her first. Its pattern is even and gratingly loud. She follows it out of her tired state with the thought of Castiel. He told her to go back, to get to Dean, and that's what she's going to do.

Weary eyes slitting open, it takes a couple seconds to focus. She just makes out the shape a person, a large sized person, folded uncomfortably in a chair much too small for him. She then sees the long brown hair that is just screaming for a haircut and she knows it's Sam. Lizzy smiles when his image grows crisp. He looked ridiculous crunched up like that but at least he's sleeping. She sees the suit he's wearing and the few streaks of blood on it and panics for a quick second before her mind hones in. It's not his. It's probably her blood. God, she must have put him through the ringer with this whole ordeal.

Lizzy realizes then that her right hand is being held by someone. Turning her head to the right side of her bed, the world suddenly feels lighter and much more easy to be in when she spies Dean's resting face. He fell asleep sitting in a chair of his own at her other side. He has his upper body leaning forward and resting on the edge of her bed, his forearms folded and head cradled in them.

"Hot Shot," Lizzy whispers to him, squeezing his hand as hard as she can… which isn't very hard. She's still recovering. "Dean."

She watches him stir slowly and when she squeezes his hand again it shocks him into being wide awake.

"L," Dean says quickly while his head snaps up to look at her. He sees her smiling at him and Dean is on his feet immediately, reaching over her bed and wrapping his arms around her.

"Shh," Lizzy whispers in his ear. "Sam's sleeping."

"Don't care," Dean's quiet and unsteady voice tells her as his arms hold her tighter.

"Sit with me," Lizzy asks of him and Dean backs off from their hug. He sits sideways on the edge of her bed while facing her and immediately takes her hands in his.

"I should have been there sooner," Dean spills forth his guilt and Lizzy immediately rolls her eyes.

"You are  _not_  doing the guilt thing right now," she scolds him. "This was not your fault."

"But we couldn't find you…"

"Well, clearly you did because I'm in a freakin' hospital."

"But you're only alive because Cass healed you," Dean bitterly answers. He hates that he couldn't save her and it took someone, or something, else to do it… Cass or not.

"Because you got him for me," Lizzy smiles, knowing already that he's the reason Castiel was able to help her at all. "No one is blaming you for any of this, especially not me, so you better cut the shit with the unnecessary guilt trip crap you always do. We're hunters and this happens, no matter how good we think we are."

Dean nods in agreement. Before he can say anything else he bows his head and looks away.

"No, no, it's ok," Lizzy assures him. "Everything worked out. I'm still here."

He doesn't answer. Just stays with his head down to avoid her.

"Dean?" Lizzy says his name with concern as she reaches to him. Before her hands can touch his cheeks, Dean lunges forward and hugs her in again, his face buried in her neck. She's shocked. On the inside she's pictured that Dean is kind of like an emotional graveyard. There are just plots everywhere of his different buried emotions. One tombstone reading 'Anger', another 'Sorrow', another 'Guilt', and so on. Somehow, whatever this is, he never buried it. He never had the chance to before it surfaced and crushed him.

"What's going on?" she quietly asks him, one hand rubbing his back and the other running through his hair as she feels his tears wet her neck.

"This was it," Dean chokes out against her skin.

"This was what?" she pries, having not the first clue as to what he's saying exactly.

"What Zach showed me," Dean admits. "This was it, just different… but it was the same thing."

"Zach?" Lizzy questions as she recalled the few weeks back when Zachariah took him in the middle of the night. He refused to talk to her about it once he was back, saying that it was too painful to, but now because of that she doesn't know what's happening with him. She gently pushes Dean up and cups his face. "What did Zachariah show you?"

"Our future if I say no to Michael and stay away from Sam," Dean tells her in a saddened voice. "Or my future. L, you… you weren't there."

"But why wouldn't I…" Lizzy stops herself. She understands it. Zachariah show him the future and she wasn't in it. She dies in the post-Apocalyptic future. "Oh."

"It can't turn out like that. It can't," Dean spills out, the fear still present in his voice. "You can't leave me alone like that."

Sighing, she pulls him in tight again. Lizzy never truly looked at how absolutely codependent their relationship has become. It had gone so quickly from young, drunken lust to puppy love to utter devotion in such a short time for them. And as much as he's completely losing it over her almost dying, she knows she'd be the exact same if the roles were reversed. Hell, she  _was_  the same. When Dean was taken to the pit she was a wreck and she never recovered until he returned. If he never did come back, well, she doesn't want to imagine where she'd be if he never came back.

Before, she thought that Dean's ultimate weakness was his brother. She isn't so sure about that anymore.

"My God we are a mess, Dean," Lizzy says to him, Dean looking up at her while leaning away, confused and hurt by her words. "We can't live without each other, literally. This isn't healthy."

"What?" he questions her. "Would you say that?"

"Because it's true. You get hurt, I panic or go into some irrational blind rage. I come close to death and you become… this. You're crushed, and weakened… you're not you. If we weren't so fucking tethered to each other we would cope with these things much easier." Lizzy runs a gentile hand down the side of his face. "Our bond is stronger than strong and sometimes, it scares me."

Nodding, Dean does in fact understand what she tells him. His whole life he saw this exact thing from his father. The insane dedication to his mother and complete devastation once she was gone. Sure, their relationship wasn't perfect. They fought and had their rough patches, but in the end they needed each other. Even at the young age of four Dean could see that. Their story suddenly sounds all too familiar.

"It's the same thing all over again," Dean quietly says to himself before looking to Lizzy. "It's my parents. This is why dad went off the deep end the way he did." Dean runs his index finger lightly over the edge of the bandage covering her forearm. "Mom died and he lost his damn head. He was drunk for days,  _days_ , and when he finally crawled out of that… we disappeared. Our family was never the same again. He was just so… angry and, and… it ruined him."

"He loved her so much," Lizzy concurs. With everything she's been told, it sounds to her like the real deal. As much as Dean's life has been cold and difficult, he's certainly witnessed his fair share of honest-to-God love.

"Too much," Dean answers, getting to his point. "I'm mean, look at us." He gestures to his still sleeping brother and himself. "He did this to us because of what happened to the person he was in love with. We've never known a home, or a schedule, or normalcy, or fuck, even what it's like to have a God damned Christmas because the love of his life was taken away."

"He did his best…"

"No," Dean denies. "He would have done his best if he thought about what mom wanted for us. But he never did. He was blinded by the fact that she just wasn't there." Dean sighs. "They loved each other too much. It was real and it made them dependent, just like you said about us. If you had…" Dean shakes off his statement, the idea of losing her too much to take. "I've seen what I become without you. I don't like it. I become too much like dad and I can't have that actually happen."

Lizzy simply sits and listens. Very rarely does Dean open up like this and she didn't want to stop him. The less he holds in, the better for his daily wellbeing.

"What were you like?" Lizzy questions. "In Zach's future?"

Blowing out a large breath, Dean tells her what he saw of himself in the future. "Angry. Really angry. And careless. I didn't give a shit about people I should have been concerned about. I let their safety come second to whatever mission was at hand. I was cold and arrogant and… and I had no reason to live. I acted like if I died it was fine and it's because my future self didn't have anything worth living for left. A large part of that was because Sam wasn't by my side anymore but a lot of that was because you were gone."

Lizzy sits up, the slice down her stomach hurting slightly as it's still healing, and leans forward into him. She kisses him with truth and adoration, but also with a bit of concern.

"I'd turn out to be the same if I were in those shoes," Lizzy assures him.

"And that's why I worry."

"And what the fuck are you gonna do about it, huh?" Lizzy challenges with a slight smile while cupping his face and pulling his focus closer to her. "We will always be this close, this crazy about each other. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can change that."

"Yeah," Dean smiles slightly, still unable to find something that outweighs his love for her. "You don't suck."

"Damn straight," she laughs softly. "God, do you realize what a fucking chick flick we are right now?"

"So fucking lame," he answers immediately with a slight cringe.

"Hey, hey, what can we do?" Lizzy wonders, quoting one of her favorite Zeppelin songs.

"As I see it, we can do one of two things," Dean begins, his emotional state returning to default Winchester status with the sudden ease of their conversation that he knows Lizzy created for him. "We either somehow stop giving so much of a shit about the other or we accept that we're fucking stuck with how we feel and we do whatever we can not to take a permanent dirt nap too soon before the other."

"You saying we need to Thelma and Louise this shit someday?" Lizzy jokes lightly and swats his arm.

"No, I'm saying that we wizen up as much as we can in our line of work," Dean answers. "No flying off the handle mid hunt or going into anything hinky anymore. We play it extremely smart and try to scrap together as much time with each other as we can before the great gig in the sky calls us in for permanent duty. We gotta be smart."

"Well, that'll be no problem for me at least…" Lizzy grins with her insult. Dean smirks and looks away for a second. Lizzy grabs his hands once more, still always finding the comfort in them when she does, and gets his attention back. "Let's take a second here and think about how lucky we just got for once, huh? Actual luck showed up to our party, dude. This all worked out in the end. The monster's dead, I'm still here. What more could you want?"

There are a million things more Dean could want right now. He wants Michael and Lucifer off their asses. He wants to get out and make the shitshow finally stop. He wants to let Lizzy have a reality, a good one with the family she wants. He wants Sam to go for everything he once strove for in life and let the highly intelligent potential of his brother has soar. He wants to sit down, be at peace with life for just five freakin' seconds and somehow smile for a change… and actually mean it.

"Nothing," Dean completely lies for her benefit. All in all, he does in fact have her and that should be more than enough. She kisses him again and Dean wraps her in tightly. This whole ordeal brought him right back to that future glimpse he was given. It was different than this, the world was different than this, but the message was the same. She could slip through his fingers so easily at any second and though he has very few regrets about the way they've managed their time together, there was one major difference between the past and future that he'd never live down if she hadn't pulled through. "Well, maybe there is something…"

Lizzy looks at him with a curious and confused face, but still with a smile. Seeing her brown eyes light up once more with such love he knows this is what he wants.

"If you're gonna go down someday, especially if it's before me…" he starts. Suck it up, Dean. You can do this. "You should go down a Winchester."

Lizzy laughs lightly. "Aren't I one already?" This was something they've joked about before.

"Well no, not legally."

Eyes suddenly showing her inner shock as her laughing stops, Lizzy pauses as she tries to find the meaning in his words. "Huh?"

"You should, you know… take the last name."

"Wait a minute here… was that you giving me the shittiest proposal ever?" The slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth let him know she's more than happy with the idea no matter how he chose to present it.

"So what if it was?" he answers before he could stop himself from saying it.

"Christo." She laughs.

"I'm being serious here, L," Dean tells her. "The thought that you'd be gone and I never, you know, made an… honest woman of you or whatever…"

"Are you for real?" Lizzy has to laugh, her stomach protesting with the unstoppable strain with his choice in words. "Honest woman? You took my honesty away a long,  _long_  time ago my friend!"

"Hey, smart ass, you mind not being such a fucking clown for a second here? I'm trying to open up like you always hound me to," Dean says, his annoyance clear as day.

"I'm sorry," Lizzy says, a hand coming to rest on the side of his face.

"You should be," Dean says, his frustration only slightly lessened with her honest apology.

"But you know I can't marry you, Dean."

"What!?" Dean shouts within a whisper to ensure his brother stays asleep for this conversation. "Why the hell not?" Didn't she always say she wanted this?

"Because, baby… you're dead."

"Shit," Dean swears downtrodden. After the explosion at the small town police office created by Lilith, Sam and Dean Winchester have been declared dead for a while now. Hell, ever since that shifter years ago Dean's been considered dead for years, even before he met her. "Kinda forgot about that."

"I don't think city hall will let me get hitched to the walking and talking corpse of a few years dead criminal."

"Well how did you marry Sam in Vegas then?" Dean asked. "Or at least the shifters claiming to be you and Sam?"

"Huh," Lizzy wonders aloud after thinking about it. "That's a damn good question."

"There's got to be a way then. And if there's a will there's a way, right?" Dean points out.

"You really want this, don't you?" she asks him.

Silent for a beat while peering into her eyes, receiving the warmth and sense of home she always gives off to not just him but his brother too, of course he knows the answer.

"I want you to be a Winchester. Hell, you've earned it."

"I'd say," Lizzy grins wide. "You gonna ask me for real then or what?"

"Didn't I just do that?"

" _That_  was your best shot!?" Lizzy refuses to believe.

"Seriously?" Dean's face falls, not excited for the lameness she's asking for.

"I'm a chick, Dean," Lizzy says with levity. "Ask me right."

"Fuck," Dean complains but sucks up his pride once he looks over at his brother, making sure he's still asleep and will miss this lapse in Deanism. Clenching his teeth once quickly, Dean grabs her hands and sighs. Looking back to her, Lizzy smiling wide with sheer happiness and morbid curiosity over if he will or won't do this right, Dean gives in. He's been aware of her ability to get him to do what she wants for a while now and right now he hates it.

"L," he starts, face as sincere as he can get it. "You wanna be my old lady?"

"Asshole," Lizzy grins while taking back her hands to push him in jest.

"Seriously though, you wanna do this?" Dean tries again, his face set now for real.

"Do you mean to say Elizabeth Noonan, would you do me the absolute honor of being my wife?"

"Yeah," Dean answers instantly. "Exactly what you said."

"Eh, alright. I can settle for you I guess," Lizzy feigns indifference. "You'll probably age well and still look good as an old man so… seems like a safe bet."

"If I get that far," Dean jokingly quips. "You gonna go fat on me now that you know I'm not leaving?"

"Absolutely!" Lizzy answers immediately. "I'm talking a solid deuce over here."

Dean makes a disappointed and disgusted face.

"Gross, no," Lizzy shakes her head, knowing she could never let herself go like that. "My body is my temple, Dean. No worries."

"You deal with my ass for the rest of the time I have left, then I'll pray to that temple every damn day."

"I'm holding you to that," Lizzy tells him and grins like an idiot.

"So it's on?" Dean wonders.

"Oh, it's on."

He pulls her in and kisses her. As always, they did things their way. No ring, no proper question, no bended knee. This was how they felt best handling the situation. Joking at the other's expense and laughing their way through something so heavy. At least they were laughing, right?

"And fuck Zach," Lizzy says into Dean's ear as she hugs him tight. "I'm not going anywhere."

"And I'm holding  _you_  to  _that_." The fear is still hidden in his tone.

Backing away, Lizzy grins at him like the giddy, normal woman she is deep down. She's fucking excited. Really excited. She doesn't even know if it's able to happen, but the thought of it, the thought of being Dean's, being in his family, being Sam's actual sister as closely as she can, it's exciting just like it should be. She's going to get fucking married to the greatest man she could have ever asked for.

"Should probably wake up Sam," Lizzy suggests, knowing that he has to be worried and would want to know she's awake. "He'll want to know my eyes are open and I'm talking and all."

"Yeah he will," Dean agrees. "I'm going to tell the doc you're up."

"Ok," Lizzy smiles and kisses him one last time before he stands to leave the room.

Just as he gets to the doorway, Dean pauses as he listens to Lizzy waking Sam up.

"Sam-I-Am," Lizzy says in a slightly louder tone than they've been using. "Hey, Sam!"

Dean turns just in time to see Lizzy throw a pillow at Sam's curled up form. He jumps a near foot and scans the room in a panic. When his eyes settle on the now wide eyed and smiling Lizzy, Sam freezes.

"Lizzy!" he shouts her name and launches to his feet, hugging her hard where she sits.

"Uh," Lizzy groans in his bear hug. This was more than she expected from him. Dean wasn't exaggerating, she really must have been a goner. "Ow."

"Sorry!" Sam loudly apologizes for hurting her as he swiftly backs away from her. "Shit, I'm sorry!"

"Don't be," she laughs at him. "I'm ok."

"God damn it, you scared us," Sam says with wild eyes and his hands grasping hers as he scoots his chair closer to her bedside.

"Didn't mean to," Lizzy lightly says.

"Yeah, well, don't do it again," Sam huffs out with a slight smile.

"Sure thing," Lizzy sarcastically says back. "I'll do what I can, jackass."

"Jackass? Guess you're feeling just fine," Sam smiles wide at her name calling, it making him much more comfortable now that he knows for sure she's A-Okay.

"Like a million bucks dude," Lizzy tells him, squeezing his hands and see can immediately see the waterworks start. She should have seen this coming. Sam is the more emotional one of the two after all and if Dean cried… well Sam was a forgone conclusion. "No way! Not you too! No more crying! I'm fine!"

Preemptively drying his eyes, Sam huffs a still grateful laugh. "Just happy, you know? Good to see you up and swearing at me. Was sure… that would happen again."

"Well it is," she smiles wide. "So dry your eyes, Sam-I-Am. It's all good."

Dean turns to leave as he can hear his brother and Lizzy talk. They're going to finish it… all of it. They're going to find a way out of the life and now more than ever he's determined to find a life he can actually live with. He's done with it all. He and Sam are going to figure this whole Apocalypse thing out and then that's it. He's out for good. They all are. Almost losing Lizzy… the camel's back has broken. Enough is enough.

He'll start by giving her his name, but he plans to build from there until he can make her truly happy.

If there's a will there's a way, right?

* * *

 


	22. And the Oscar Goes to...

* * *

"Elizabeth Smith?"

Lizzy turns her attention to the doorway of the hospital room.

"Yes?" she answers back while sitting up taller in her hospital bed as two uniformed police officers enter the room.

"We'd like to ask you a couple questions if we could." The officers both walk to the side of her bed as she turns down the volume of her favorite daytime soap. Yes, she watches those, no matter how ridiculous she knows they are. They're like hot men fests, who could say no to that? Plus, in her defense, she doesn't watch the ones with witches and aliens. That's just fucking crazy.

"I figured you would," Lizzy smiles slightly. She just assumed they would show up eventually.

"I'm Office Callen," the taller of the two officers says as he takes out a pad and pen to record what she tells them. "This is my partner, Officer Jenks. You mind going over what happened to you before you came in here yesterday?"

"Um, honestly, it's a bit foggy," she lies. Lizzy remembers a lot of what happened. She remembers Jason's face clear as day, along with his basement and her restrained position in it. She remembers the smell of the musty air and the gleam of his butcher blade. She recalls the panic of her arm being sliced wide open, the slice she's still afraid to look at on the chance that it marred Lou's image. After that is where it does in fact get foggy. Glimpses of Cass is the Impala, telling Dean she loves him, thinking she's dying still pop up here and there.

"Just do your best."

"Well, I was here visiting, you know I've never been to LA. It's a fun place, or rather it  _was_  a fun place before this happened." She gestures to her rapidly healing body.

"Where were you when you were attacked?" Jenks asks.

"I had been roaming the streets exploring," Lizzy continues to lie completely. "I don't remember where I was exactly, I think I'd gotten lost. Suddenly someone hit me in the head." She touches a hand to her temple where she'd been knocked out twice. Only a fading bruise remains. "After that, I blacked out."

"And where was your husband during all this?" Officer Callen asks her.

"Husband?" Lizzy asks incredulously, realizing her mistake instantly. Fucking sedative drugs. She's off her game. She should have gone with the flow since that must have been part of the story Dean gave when she came in.

"Yes," the officer confirms with suspicion. "Your husband Dean who was here earlier, who brought you in."

"Right, sorry. You know, we just got married like a week ago and the label husband still sounds crazy to me," she smiles as she performs what she thinks should be considered her Oscar clip. "He was on his own. We decided to take a day to ourselves. I think he mentioned something about Venice Beach but I'm not too sure where he ended up."

"You just got married and needed a day off from each other?" Jenks asks with surprise. "Sounds like a healthy start."

"We've known each other for years. Sometimes a day away is good." She shrugs away the questioning.

"So how did he find you?" Callen asks with obvious disbelief in her. Lizzy wrinkles her brow as she peers at him.

"Didn't you already talk to him by now?" Lizzy wonders. She was out for a while so they must have had time to speak with Dean.

"Surprisingly, no," he answers, his own skeptical attitude suddenly coming through. "He and the big guy keep skirting us. Never around when we are."

"Yeah, well you'd have to talk to him," Lizzy answers. "I don't really remember much once I was knocked out."

"Convenient," Jenks remarks.

"Excuse me?" Lizzy angrily asks him.

"So where's the husband now?" Callen wonders.

"Off gathering our stuff," Lizzy makes up. "After all this I just want to get outta this town. LA is officially  _not_  on my list of great American cities."

"Pretty weird that you brought a sibling with you on your honeymoon, don't you think?" Officer Jenks pipes up.

"This isn't our honeymoon," Lizzy keeps lying while her drug addled brain tries to keep her lies straight. "That's still a month away. This was just a fun little trip. And Dean is really close to his brother so…"

" _His_  brother?" Callen asks as he pulls the metal file off Lizzy's bed and reads it over. "I thought Sam was  _your_  brother. Says so right here on the paperwork." He holds up the file to her and Lizzy swallows hard.

"He is," she claims. "Why, what did I say?"

"Hey," Lizzy hears Dean call out and she breathes out a sigh of relief.

"Hi honey!" Lizzy says with wide eyes once the officers turn to see the hunter coming into the room, duffel in his hand. She makes a face to tell him to go with the flow.

"Hi. What's going on?" Dean asks while eyeing the officers.

"These nice officers came to ask about the attack," Lizzy explains with a grin, trying to remain innocent looking. "They said they hadn't talk to you or my brother yet."

"No, we haven't," Dean drops the duffel and reaches out to shake the officer's hands. "Dean Smith."

"Hello Mr. Smith," Officer Callen greets before diving in. "Could you tell me where you and Sam found Lizzy?"

"On the side of the road," Dean answers while trying to look like what he says is shocking to him still. "We were walking around town and just saw her down a side street laying there."

"You just randomly found her?" Officer Jenks challenges. "Out of the blue?"

"Uh, yeah," Dean answers with a confused expression.

"Awful coincidental," Jenks observes.

"I like to call it fate," Dean says, the irony only clear to Lizzy and he. He reaches over to Lizzy and takes her hand, going for the cornball moment.

"Where were you and Sam while Lizzy was being attacked?" Callen pries.

"We were off on our own. You know, watching the weirdoes on Venice Beach can be really fun."

"So you were on Venice Beach?" Jenks asks with clear disbelief.

"Yeah, with Sam."

"Are you sure?" Jenks pries further.

"I'm sorry, but are you asking for an alibi?" Dean says with sudden incredulity.

"We just need to cover our bases." Callen goes for a calmer approach as Dean starts getting angry

"That's my wife we're talking about! Am I being accused of something here!?" Dean causes a ruckus and blows away Lizzy's Ocsar clip in the matter of seconds.

"Sir, calm down…"

"You think I could do that to her!?"

"What's going on here?" Sam asks as he suddenly appears in the doorway. He was right behind Dean after having to fill out release forms for his 'sister'. He now had a large manila envelope in his hands as he looks around the room.

"The cops are accusing Dean of doing this to me!" Lizzy shouts, horrified.

"What!?" Sam blurts while looking angrily to the officers. "Why?"

"We're not accusing anyone of anything," Jenks denies. "We're just getting the facts."

"Doubtful," Sam says with his hands on his hips. "My clients are done talking."

"Clients?" Jenks asks. "What are you, some kind of lawyer?"

"Yes I am," Sam lies seriously. "And you have no basis to accuse anyone of anything without legitimate proof and an arrest warrant."

"Ok, hold on a minute…" Callen tries to slow everything down.

"No,  _you_  hold on a minute," Sam says. "I demand a moment with my clients to confer."

Both officers stand shocked and without speech.

"If you'll excuse us," Sam impatiently gripes and the officers take the hint. They leave the room dragging their feet with absolute confusion.

"That was awesome, Sam-I-Am," Lizzy grins wide while whispering. "I was floundering! Thanks!"

"I can't believe that worked," Dean adds as Sam walks to the doorway and peeks out to see the officers walking around the corner.

"And they'll know it's all bullshit in like a minute flat," Sam responds. "We need to get the hell outta here."

"Right on!" Lizzy cheers as she pulls out her IV with excitement. "This place sucks ass." She jumps out of bed and starts putting on the clothes Dean grabbed for her in her duffel.

* * *

"Here," Sam says from the front passenger seat as he hands the manila folder he got from the front desk at the hospital over to Lizzy in the back. "Thought you might want theses."

She opens the envelope and looks in. She sees the silver ring set she always has on (great substitute for brass knuckle in an unexpected bind), her watch, her phone that is crushed and useless, and, most importantly, Mary's charm bracelet.

"Thanks," she says, happy to see the familiar items. She then sees the blood spots on the items, the leather strap of her watch soaked in it, and sighs. "I need a new phone. And watch."

"Mom's bracelet in there?" Dean wonders back to her, having noticed she wasn't wearing it when they left.

"Sure is. Just need to clean it."

"Good."

They pull into a motel that they've come upon and Sam gets out to check them in. Lizzy closes the envelope for now and sighs, ready to take it easy for the night. She's still a bit tired from everything.

"Home sweet shitty home," Dean remarks while getting out of the car when he sees Sam coming back to it. He begins pulling their bags out of the trunk of the Impala. Looking over the one story, rundown place Dean sighs. He wishes for a second that nicer hotels were so trusting and that their bunk credit cards wouldn't be so obvious. Lizzy's still not fully back to normal, even with her angel intervention, and he'd love for her to have a better place to fully recover.

"It's not the hospital, so I'm taking it," Lizzy says back, so happy to be out of there. People poking her, asking her questions she can't answer, crappy TVs with no good channels… not her idea of comfy.

"I'm just looking forward to a bed after sleeping for a few hours in a tiny chair," Sam gripes as he unlocks the door of their room and heads in, ready for a more comfortable place to grab some sleep.

"Uh, you know what? I'll be right in," Lizzy tells the two men and takes her phone out of her pocket.

"You're calling him, aren't you?" Dean asks, not hiding his worry. He thinks she's going to call Castiel. He's still a little upset with the angel for pulling a disappearing act at such a crucial moment.

"I have to know," Lizzy confirms for him. Dean nods, getting why she'd need the how and why of what happened with her miraculous recovery, and leaves her be.

Once they are inside, she dials the number of the one person, or thing, she needs answers from.

"Elizabeth," she hears Castiel evenly greet.

"Seal Rock Inn, San Miguel," Lizzy states and hangs up. Within the second her angel is standing just ten feet in front of her in the parking lot.

"Hello," Castiel says while his eyes dance around, never focusing on her.

"Hi Cass," she answers back. The following silence as he avoids her questioning irks her so she decides to just quickly ask. "I have to know what happened," Lizzy tells him gently. She got the overview from Dean and Sam and now she needs his version.

"You almost died, and you were saved," Castiel shortly explains.

"Who saved me?" Lizzy wonders to him.

"I think you know who."

"No, I don't," Lizzy returns. "Cass, you've been cut off of heavens powers, or rationed off or whatever. Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, dude. What happened?"

"Urinate on your…?" Sighing when realizing it must be another saying he doesn't quite understand, this was exactly what Castiel feared. She always questioned him, even as a child. Cassie, how do you disappear? Cassie, why can't I tell mommy and daddy about you? Cassie, how come I'm special? Cassie, who saved my life? He should have assumed she'd want to know. She always wanted to know everything. "Elizabeth, I would never let you die. Not like that. You deserve better."

"Don't we all," Lizzy jests. "Tell me, do you have the juice for that? To save me when I am that far gone?"

"Not right now, no," Castiel says to the pavement at his feet.

"But you did?"

"I had… borrowed… the power. Temporarily."

"Where did you borrow it from?"

Castiel turns to look up into the stars dotting the night sky. Peering at the twinkle above, he sighs. "I could have been assigned anywhere in the universe. It just had to be Earth. It had to be the one place with inhabitants that have a penchant for questioning and are overly emotional. "

"Cass," Lizzy calls back his attention. "Where'd you get that kind of power?"

"I am not the only being that recognizes your importance in this world," he cryptically explains. "I was desperate and I sought help. Luckily, I received said help in time."

Lizzy pauses, trying to understand. "Just tell me."

Castiel furrows his brow. "You will not appreciate the answer the way that you should."

"God?" she asks in a shaky tone, having thought of this as an option before. "Was is God, Cass?"

He looks away and doesn't answer, confirming her suspicions.

"You found him!?"

His silence kills her.

"Was it God, Cassie?" Her fear reverts her right back to the child who loved her imaginary friend dearly.

He steps closer to her until just an arm's length separates them.

"I thought you rebelled?" Lizzy brings up with confusion. "I thought you were cut off and you couldn't find him!"

"Your life is vital…"

"To the Apocalypse. I know," Lizzy finishes incorrectly.

"To the true story." Castiel sighs. He's already told her too much. He knows God won't appreciate this but presses on anyways. "God and I both know how valuable your life is."

"What does that mean?" Lizzy has to ask. She's getting worried. Castiel has clearly hidden from her much more than he's shared.

"There's a story playing out right now, Elizabeth," Castiel says, eyes returning to the stars. "It is prophesized about, written in the stars as it will come to pass."

"Revelation?" Lizzy thinks she knows the answer.

"In a way," Castiel starts. "Your kind, as I have told you, got more wrong than they got right. The version you know is incomplete." He looks down from the sky and to Lizzy. "You will understand… but not right now."

"Of course," Lizzy complains. "After this one… you have to give me something here, Cass. I don't have to understand everything but you have to give me  _something_. Please."

"You need to take care of yourself," Castiel warns her seriously while walking to her, a hand on her shoulder. "Be more careful. You are indispensable."

"Fuck, I just want to get it…"

"This world, heaven, they both rely on you and playing your part. We all are depending on you."

"What the fuck!?"

"I wish I could tell you…"

"Then tell me!" Lizzy begs of him, grabbing onto his forearm with an iron grip. "Stop this secretive shit already. You're already a rebel with wings. Just tell me what the fuck is going on!?"

"I can't risk it changing anything." Castiel places a gentile hand on her cheek. "Elizabeth, please trust me."

"I'm trying to but you're not making it easy." She looks up with a half-smile, her eyes still sad.

Castiel smiles down to her warmly, something she's never seen him do. "You're going to set it right. You're going to be the answer." And then he disappears.

"Son of a bitch," Lizzy complains before yelling out, "Thanks so much for your awesome explanation Cass! I'm not confused at all!" She huffs a frustrated breath while looking around the lot, now all alone. She mutters to herself a bit. "No pressure. You just have to save the God damn fucking world. No  _fucking_  problem. Just another shitty day in paradise." Lizzy starts making her way to the door of the room. When she opens it she shouts out loudly to the men inside with her arms outstretched above her head, "I am all that is woman!"

"Hell yeah you are," Dean smiles from where he can be seen sitting on the bed nearest the doorway, beer already in hand. He smiles wide at her. He's pretty sure that she is.

"What are you talking about?" Sam can be heard asking in a confused voice off somewhere else in the room.

"God loves the shit outta me and I am Super Woman," Lizzy exaggeratedly explains in her normal, goofy way. As she walks inside, she starts to tell them what she knows, as limited as it is. "Heaven needs me to continue on and Revelation, as we know it, is incomplete! Hear ye, hear ye!"

"Awesome," Dean can be heard muttering as the door slams shut. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Castiel watches as he stands there. He never left her just then. Very rarely did he leave her these days unless there was a battle at hand or God needed him. He just disappeared from her vision for a moment and she didn't sense he was still there. Sometimes he got lucky.

The more Castiel continues to be around her the more he wants to tell Lizzy about who she is. It is not his place to tell her everything, to explain her ultimate purpose. Not yet. He wants to, father help him, he does, but he understands why he cannot, especially when the time has nearly come for her to play her part, her very, very important part that has been centuries in the making.

Once this version of the Apocalypse is over, her time will come. She'll be perfect, do exactly as she's destined to do and wonderfully. And Castiel looks forward to the day he can see her do that very much. He's already so pleased with who she's become, her strength, her fortitude. When she brings to the world the keys to the true story, he'll be prouder than any parent has ever been of their very own children. She'll be spectacular.

* * *

"So as I see it, you two have a couple options here," Don says to them while sitting behind his huge, cherry wood desk in his office.

"Alright, shoot," Dean says as he sits on the other side of the desk, Lizzy right next to him in her own chair. Bobby suggested they go talk to his lawyer of choice to help them. This guy was able to finagle an annulment for Lizzy and Sam after the shifters got them married and that alone wasn't easy considering Sam was dead according to the US government. Once Lizzy and Dean told Bobby that they wanted to make their relationship official he immediately called Don - lawyer extraordinaire.

"Well, the traditional marriage certificate is never going to happen," the lawyer plainly puts it, ripping off that one big band aid. "Vegas isn't exactly the town of high morals and doing things by the book. They never checked into that last marriage so they let it slip." He looks towards Lizzy. "If you want to take your chances you could try going there and getting married again…"

"No," Lizzy sternly interrupts. "Not gonna happen." Vegas is still a sore spot for her. She's definitely never going to get married there for real.

"Ok. So, thinking about it I figured ultimately what is a marriage? It's bonding yourself to another person in every sense of the word. From what Bobby has told me, you two already have that going on."

Dean and Lizzy both nod as they listen.

"So the only missing piece is the name change for you, right?" Don asks, looking specifically at Lizzy.

"I'd agree with that," Lizzy answers.

"So why don't we petition a name change with the courts?" Don says lightly as he grabs a small stack of papers. "You can fill these out and I'll make a court date for you here in Sioux Falls. All you have to do is show up with these filled out properly and plead your case in front of a judge."

"And that case would be?" Dean has to wonder.

"Oh easy," Don brushes off. "You could say you wanted to take the last name of your fiancé who died before you could get married. It's a sad enough story to tug at some heartstrings and get you what you want. Just bring your acting A-game."

"Sympathy," Lizzy nods. "Love the way you lie, Don."

"Yeah, just don't tell anyone that," he huffs. "I owe Bobby my son's life. Other than favors for him, I try to stay legit."

"We appreciate the slip up in morals then," Dean adds in. "So is this our only option?"

"Right now, as I see it, if we're going to follow the law… yes," Don answers. "Now, I know it isn't ideal and it really isn't a true marriage, but you could still do a ceremony and all that if you wanted to. Might help it feel more real."

"You know, I think this could work," Lizzy says, reading over the papers before looking up at Dean. "I would have your name for real and that's the most important part, right? I mean, I feel like that kinda bonds us together."

"Yeah, but it's not the same," Dean says, not wanting her to feel like she's missing out on anything. He wants to give her everything he can that every other person on Earth gets to have. He wants her to have that big wedding if that what she wants, even if he personally  _really_  doesn't.

"And  _we're_  not the same, clearly," she reminds him with a smile. "Baby, this works for me. Tell me it works for you too."

She looked happy. Really happy. For that reason alone he can't deny her.

"This is good enough for you?"

"Absolutely."

"Then this works for me too. Let's do it."

"Yes," Lizzy smiles wide, a smile he hasn't seen on her in far too long.

* * *

 


	23. Season 5, Time for a (Kind of) Wedding

* * *

"Ms. Noonan," the judge looks up to her from his seat on the bench after reading over her paperwork. "Please explain why you'd like to change your last name."

"I'd be happy to, your honor," Lizzy begins as she stands up and smooths down the front of her white, knee-length dress. She decided to dress it up a bit even though technically they aren't getting married. She found a great, vintage, 1950's dress at her and Lou's favorite shop in downtown Sioux Falls and had to go for it. Dean was even nice enough to put on one of his FBI suits (the black one since the blue one was ruined by her blood just a few weeks back). He watches on from the bench seats behind her as she stands behind a podium to plead her case. "It's in remembrance of my late fiancé. Winchester was his last name. He was a wonderful man with a huge heart and I miss him every day. He's the absolute love of my life. I loved him with everything in me and he loved me the same. My world collapsed the day he died in that car accident and I will always regret that I never got to marry him before…" Lizzy sighs. "Just before." Damn she's good.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Ms. Noonan," the judge sympathizes with her bunk story. "I commend you on you desire to honor his memory. It's a strong gesture of how much he meant to you."

"Oh, he meant the world to me," Lizzy assures. "He  _was_  my world. He was such a good person and I can't help but think this planet will be worse off without him in it to make it better."

"Then I can't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to show the world just that." The judge picks up a pen and signs the documents before stamping them. "Congratulations Ms. Noonan. You will from here on out be referred to as Elizabeth Winchester."

He holds the papers out for her to take and Lizzy approaches the bench with a big skip in her step.

"Thank you so much, your honor!" Lizzy says brightly as she takes the papers from him. "I really appreciate you allowing me to have this."

"And I wish you the best of luck in the future, Ms. Winchester," the man smiles and Lizzy turns to leave. As she makes her way down the aisle of seats, Dean stands and follows her out into the hallway and onto the front steps of the courthouse. The second they are outside, Lizzy jumps up onto him with utter glee.

"Ah! This is awesome!" she shouts out and grins wide as Dean holds her up and hugs her in.

"I know," Dean smiles out as Lizzy circles her arms around him and looks him in the eye while still a foot off the ground. "So weird."

"But weird in a good way," she returns while pressing her lips to his. She kisses him deep with excitement. She was officially a part of the family. So maybe she didn't get the fanfare and the ceremony. She was never one of those women who imagined their wedding day as huge with a massive dress and flowers and all the ridiculous insanity that comes with it anyways. The only thing she ever imagined was finding someone who makes her happy and makes her a better person, that's all. And she found that. For once, even in her fucked up, twisted excuse for a real life, something went her way.

"In a  _very_  good way," Dean answers back as he sets her back down on her feet and kisses her again.

"Congratulations you two!" a passing woman cheers as she walks past them and into the courthouse, assuming they'd just gotten married by the looks of them.

"Thanks!" Lizzy calls out quickly with her lips against Dean's before she kisses him again.

"Guess we're obvious," Dean points out.

"Guess so."

"Let's get back to Bobby's and celebrate, huh?"

"I'd love to, Mr. Winchester," Lizzy grins up to him.

"Right this way, Mrs. Winchester," Dean says right back as he holds out a hooked arm to her.

"Damn, that sounds good," she comments while looping her arm through his as they head down the steps to the Impala.

* * *

"So I'm thinking that we should take a few days off," Lizzy mentions as Dean turns the car into Bobby's dirt driveway. "Honeymoons are important for newly married couples to enjoy their newfound bond." She smiles while sliding over to sit right up next to him. Dean pulls his arm around her and she kisses his cheek.

"I could go for that as long as the Apocalypse can hold off a few days," Dean tells her, turning his head to kiss her quickly before looking back out the windshield. "Where to?"

"Anywhere, I don't care," Lizzy answers, kissing his jaw. "I'll be with you. We could go to New Jersey and I'd be happy as long as I'm with you." She kisses his neck.

"We're not going to New Jersey," Dean rebuts with levity as he puts the Impala in park.

"Ok, no Jersey," Lizzy grins wide and pulls him into a burning kiss, one that lets him know her intentions loud and very clear.

"Mm," Dean hums before leaning away. "Come on, let's find Sam and Bobby."

"Fine," Lizzy half complains as he gets out of the car. She wouldn't have hated just having some fun in the car before heading back into the presence of others, but oh well. She gets out and shuts the door of the car. Grabbing Dean's hand once she walks around the Impala, they walk up to the side door of Bobby's place. Before opening it to head in, Dean gets inspired.

"We're back!" Lizzy shouts when they open the kitchen door, Dean carrying her as they walk through the door in tradition newlywed style.

"Hey!" Sam calls out as he hustles to greet them, Bobby rolling in right behind him. "Congrats, huh?"

"Thank you," Lizzy grins wide as Dean puts her down. Sam wastes no time in walking to her and hugging her tight. "The judge was awesome. Didn't even question my lies."

"Excellent," Sam happily smiles as he turns to look at his brother. "Congratulations, man."

"Thanks Sammy," Dean answers as he hugs Sam quickly. "Now I just have to delete all those hot girls' numbers outta my phone and it's official."

"Ha-ha," Lizzy sarcastically responds as Bobby stops right in front of her. She leans down and hugs him.

"You know, this is exactly what I never wanted," he says to her in jest as Lizzy laughs in response.

"You didn't stand a chance at stopping this, Bobby. You know that," she tells him.

"Yeah, I know." He did know, and well. He kept Lizzy and Dean apart for years in order to protect Lizzy from the nightmare that is Dean Winchester's life. So much for that. "Fucking angels."

"Amen to that," Dean responds immediately, a congratulatory shake of the hand between he and his father figure once Bobby let Lizzy go.

"So, uh, I've got something for the two of you," Bobby explains as he wheels to his desk in the study. "A kinda wedding present, even if the wedding thing never really happened."

"Details," Lizzy brushes off as the three younger hunters follow him. Bobby opens his top drawer and pulls out a small, polished wooden box. He opens the lid and hands it over for Lizzy to look inside. When she does she's shocked. "Whoa." She pulls out a diamond engagement ring and matching silver wedding band.

"Bobby, you go corpse shopping on your last salt and burn?" Dean asks as he looks at the jewelry.

"No, you inconsiderate idjit," Bobby answers with utter annoyance. "They're Karen's."

Eyes wide as she looks at the man who's all but taken her father's place over the past seven years, Lizzy's blown away by the gesture. "Bobby, I can't take these."

"Yes you can," he responds. "All they're gonna do is sit and rot away in my desk if you don't take 'em. I know slick over here ain't got the means to get you what you deserve to have, so let me help where I can."

As the tears blur her vision, Lizzy turns the rings over in her hands. They're modest, nothing big or flashy; the solitaire diamond being less than a carat and the very simple, thin silver band that goes with it is still polished and gleaming.

"I…" Lizzy shakes her head, unable to get out what she wants to say. She sighs and clears her throat. "You've already given me… damn, ha. Bobby you saved my life, taught me everything, still look after me constantly. This is too damn much."

"Liz, stop being so stupid 'bout this," Bobby starts to get annoyed as his own emotions threaten to come out. "I said I want you to have it and if I knew Karen as well as I think I did, she'd be just fine with this."

Lizzy hands Dean the box and grabs her adoptive father with all the strength she has. Her arms around his neck, she holds on hard as the tears make a slow slide down her face. Damn it, why does it feel like all she does is cry these days? At least this time it's happy tears. She almost forgot what those felt like.

"Thank you," she whispers in his ear with a grin. "You have no idea what this means to me."

"I'm getting an idea," Bobby chokes out under her grasp. Hearing his voice, she backs off.

"Sorry," she apologizes. "Just… really moved by the gift."

Bobby nods, enjoying the happiness he sees from her.

"Ok, time to get a little corny with this shit," Dean breaks in. When Lizzy turns to focus on him he has the rings in his hand. "Come on, woman." He gestures for her to give him her hand and she does. Slipping the rings on her left ring-finger, Lizzy grins up at him.

"You're so fucking lame," she tells him with a huge smile that completely gives her away.

"You love it," Dean tells her with a smirk.

"I do," Lizzy says, raising her eyebrows at her own ironic words before looking at her hand. "They're beautiful. They're clean and simple… and perfect. Bobby, thank you."

"You're welcome," he tells her before looking at Dean. "I'd have something for you too but, even if I don't wear it these days, I'm still a little attached to mine." He absent mindedly places a hand over the wallet in his pocket where he keeps his own wedding ring. He couldn't wear it after Karen died. It hurt too much to look at every day. Instead he's kept it close by in the old, worn leather wallet he's had his whole life.

"Oh, he's fine," Lizzy assures as grabs Dean's right hand and begins pulling off his silver band he's always worn on it. "Can you open beer bottles with your left hand?" She slides the ring onto his left ring finger.

"No, but I can probably learn."

"Nice," Lizzy smiles wide. "Damn, this feels like we really are married now."

"Yeah, it's definitely… different," Dean says with a wrinkled expression, almost unsure of how to feel about everything. "Now go pack your crap."

"Yeah?" Lizzy asks with narrowed eyes.

"Hell yeah," Dean answers immediately. "You made a good point in the car. We deserve a few days and Sam and Bobby can hold down the fort for a couple nights, right?" He looks to the other two men for an answer.

"Sure," Sam says immediately. "Go. I mean, don't be surprised if you get a call to come back early…"

"And you better call!" Lizzy warns.

"We will," Bobby says impatiently with her worry.

"Promise," Lizzy points at Sam and Bobby both. "You promise right now that the second something goes down or you find out something, you'll call or else I'm not going anywhere!"

"We promise," Sam says to her, nearly laughing at her insistence.

Lizzy then points at Bobby and waits, her expression daring him to not vow to her that he'll call if she's needed.

"Yeah, yeah," Bobby waves his hand through the air. "I'll call, ok?"

"Ok," Lizzy relaxes a bit with their vow to her. "Ok."

"Like I said, go pack your shit. Mine too," Dean says more than asks to her. "I'll go over some stuff here first with Bobby and then let's get the hell outta here."

The involuntary smile that spreads across her face is the only warning of her attack. She launches forward and jumps on Dean, kissing him quickly over and over in little pecks with her excitement, covering his face.

"Jesus, calm down would you?" Dean winces with her loving assault.

"No way," she says and continues, ending her barrage with one big, and longer, kiss before jumping down. "Be right back, ready to go."

As she bounds up the stairs, looking much like the kid version of her he remembers seeing, he smiles. He's blown away that he can make her that happy just be handing over his name. He just hopes now that he can keep that smile coming in their future.

* * *

She's almost done packing when she hears the soft, very quiet knock on the bedroom door.

"Come on in, Sam-I-Am," Lizzy calls out to the person she's sure it is on the other side of the door.

"How'd you know it was me?" Sam asks when he walks into the room.

"Easy," Lizzy laughs, folding items and putting them into the duffel on the bed. "Bobby already said his thing and Dean doesn't knock… he just opens the door and hopes he'll catch me getting dressed or something."

"Sounds about right," he agrees with her logic as he takes a seat toward the end of the bed.

"Plus the knock came from pretty high up on the door. Only gigantically tall people knock way up there."

Sam just huff at her. "So where are you two off to anyways?"

"We have no idea," she answers honestly and pauses what she's doing to look up at him. "Isn't that something?"

"I'm sure it'll be nice," Sam nods. He'd love a moment like that; no destination, no shitty job to get to, just life.

"So?" Lizzy asks while dropping the last folded shirt into her bag and zipping it up.

"So….?" Sam narrows his eyes at her as he wonders what she's expecting from him.

"Oh come on!" Lizzy says with obviousness a she drops her bag on the floor and hops up onto the bed next to him. "You're the sentimental one of the two of you. I'm sure you came up here to say something super sappy that you couldn't get away with in front of Dean."

"Uh, alright. You got me there," Sam smiles and looks down at his hands. "I just, I don't know, wanted to let you know that I'm really happy about this. Really happy. I mean, fuck… you're an actual Winchester now."

"Yes I am," Lizzy grins wide with the sound of it.

"And I wouldn't want that to go to anyone else, you know?" Sam looks over at her. "You mean a lot to me too, not just Dean."

"Of course I do," Lizzy nudges his shoulder with her own. "Who else can keep the peace between you two dumb asses like I do?"

"No one," Sam readily agrees.

"And I'm glad you're happy Sam, because I'm pretty sure if you weren't cool with this I would never have gone through with it."

"Well you have nothing to worry about," he assures. "I'm proud to call you my sister from now on… the little sister I never wanted."

"Please! You've always wanted a sister," Lizzy pushes him playfully. "Who else can you talk about cute boys and clothes with?"

"Oh you got me there," Sam caustically returns with an eye roll before going serious again. "You know I like to think Lou would be happy about this too."

"She would've been," Lizzy nods quickly. "I know that when she died she pretty much wanted to put a bullet in Dean's brain for everything that happened…"

"Harsh."

"Her exact words, not mine," Lizzy tells him. "But I know if she could see what we've become, how good we are together and how good he is to me now that the past is in the past… she'd approve."

They sit in silence as they both think about Lou for a moment. Lizzy grabs Sam's hand.

"I wonder if for a wedding present Cass could get her back," she schemes.

"He can't do that," Sam pushes her theory away.

"It's worth a shot," she says though she knows it'd never work.

"He can't. I already tried." Sam looks down at the floor. "I asked him right after she died, I tried again a year after she was gone. I begged him, ha. Totally trashed my pride and begged him. Pleaded until I was blue in the fucking face. He said he couldn't get to her where she is."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Lizzy wonders aloud. Castiel could get into hell and heaven, so what gives.

"Not sure, he wouldn't say."

"Shocking." It was Lizzy's turn to roll her eyes. As much as she loves Castiel, he's been making her insane lately with all the secretive stuff and the half truths.

"He just said her time came and he couldn't change it as much as he wanted to… for both you and me."

"So shitty."

"I agree."

Lizzy blows out a large breath. "Way to keep a good day good, Sam!"

"Sorry," Sam smiles out. "Sometimes I can't help it and really, you're the only one who understands me on this."

"Yeah, I miss her like crazy too. Still hurts like a bitch." Lizzy runs a hand through Sam's hair and down the side of his saddened face, trying to give him comfort through their shared pain.

"Seeing you and Dean… so happy… sometimes it just, it's a lot to handle and it makes me think…." Sam stops himself, realizing what he's doing to one of Lizzy's happiest days she's had in so damn long. "Lizzy, I'm sorry." Shaking his head, he lowers his gaze.

"Stop it, huh?" she asks of him. "If you think for a second I haven't had Lou in the front of my mind today, you're fucking nuts. She was always supposed to be here for moments like this. We were supposed to be by each other's side when we got married, had kids, everything. And, now, she isn't… she can't be. It fucking sucks."

"I wish you had her back." Sam looks at Lizzy with his patented puppy dog eyes.

"Same right back at you," Lizzy says in return. "Now, before I really let myself think about this too much and start crying my fucking eyes out, I'm gonna go down stairs, pack my ass up in that car, and head off to fuck your brother for a few days straight before coming back into the Apocalypse-screwed real world."

"Such a fine young lady my brother has found himself," Sam jests with her way of speaking.

"Fucking-A right, bitch," Lizzy smiles wide and further proves Sam's point. She stands up off the bed and reaches down to sling the two now packed duffels over her shoulder, looking silly with her white dress. "Sam, I love you," she kisses him on the cheek. "But it's time for me to shag ass and be happy."

"I'll see you soon," Sam answers, a smile on his face that doesn't quite reach his eyes. Lizzy takes his hand and squeezes it once, winking at him. She leaves him there, suspecting that he needed a minute and heads down to meet her man.

Sam does in fact take advantage of the time alone. Sitting quietly, he lets his mind go straight to Lou. He wants her back so bad it aches and watching Dean and Lizzy, getting 'married' and being insanely happy, makes his own loss so much worse. He wants that. Sam always feels guilty for looking at Lizzy and Dean's relationship and letting it bring him to a sad place. He should be happy for them, and he is. He's very happy for them, but it always brings up the what-ifs in his own life. The what-ifs were the worst part of losing Lou.

* * *

Once in the car, Lizzy connects her IPod to its transmitter and puts on Led Zeppelin's self-titled album. Dean turns the key in the ignition, the engine rumbling familiarly, he turns to look at her excited face.

"So where to?"

"Anywhere," Lizzy grins so wide he can see every one of her teeth.

"Ok, let's start with a direction." Dean puts the car in drive and begins rolling down the dirt driveway.

"Hmm, west to California sun and fun… or maybe up north to a snowed in cabin with a fireplace?"

"Does snowed in mean we get trapped together and can't leave?"

"Sure does," Lizzy answers happily.

"So it'd be just the two of us in a cabin, alone, away from everyone else in this fucked world?"

"Yes."

"Northern snow it is," Dean answers, making a left out of the driveway and into their very rare time off.

* * *

 


	24. Three Days of Well-Deserved Awesome

* * *

"Holy shit. Get a load of this place," Lizzy amazes as she walks into the rustic cabin out in the middle of practically nowhere with her and Dean's duffels in her hold along with a few plastic shopping bags.

"Nice digs," Dean agrees when he walks in, surveying the place much like Lizzy with a thirty pack of beer, a paper bag, and several more plastic bags. Rufus had called Bobby just after they left for their impromptu honeymoon and once Bobby told them what they were up to, he called Lizzy immediately after to let them know about the cabin rentals in Montana he'd found years ago. He said it was a great spot to 'really get to know each other'. Lizzy was beginning to see what Rufus would use such a place for. "So how many ladies you think Rufus' brought up here?"

"And how many of them actually thought he was Luther Vandross," Lizzy returns quickly, earning a bright laugh from him. "Second thought, I don't really want to think about Rufus' sex."

"Good point," he answers, opening the refrigerator and starting to stock it up with the food and beverages they brought with them.

"Oh yes!" Lizzy exaggeratedly calls from the other side of the large, one room cabin after looking around a little more.

"What?" he questions her as he finishes putting away the food that needs to stay cold.

"Come over and find out!"

Dean quickly stands and shuts the door of the fridge to go find her. Already he can see her tossing her tan leather bomber jacket onto the floor and kicking out of her heels.

"Look at the size of this thing!" Lizzy cheers as she sits down at the foot of the massive, king-sized bed.

Dean just huff a small laugh at her excitement.

"What are you waiting for!?" Lizzy asks him with shock that she didn't just then get tackled. She scoots up the bed until she's sitting in the middle of it. She then unzips the back of her white dress and pulls it down, leaving her in only her bra from the waist up. "Get your ass up here and fuck your wife!"

Staring at her eagerness for him to do naughty, awesome things to her makes it that much harder to turn her down. "Can't."

"What!?" she responds with wide eyes. "Why not!?"

"We have salting to do," he reminds her, reaching into their weapons pack and grabbing the canister of salt. "And demon proofing and angel proofing…"

"Oh my fucking God!" Lizzy flops onto her back exaggeratedly and with disappointment. "Where's your sense of spontaneity?"

"Gone, along with my sense of security that evil shit won't come trying to kill me or my awesome new wife while we're fucking to celebrate. Get up and help me and then we can have all the sex you want once we're safe."

"Promise?" she looks up to him from her reclined position.

"Baby, I promise," he responds and walks over to the bed to hold out his hand. She takes it with an eye roll and lets him help her off the bed. Once standing next to him, Dean leans down to kiss her before handing over the salt. "Here. I'll take the devil's traps."

"Fine," she huff with annoyance. Dean just smiles at her and walks away to get to work. He grabs the chalk out of their bag and pulls up the rug by the front door. Sitting on the floor he gets to work, concentrating on making sure he does the trap right. He does  _not_  want their time away interrupted.

Once he's halfway done he hears a pair of high heels walking in his direction. He looks up just in time to watch Lizzy bend in half at the waist while facing away from him as she lines the front door with salt in only her lacy white bra, matching thong, high white heels, and garter around her thigh.

"Oh, come on! That's just unfair," Dean informs her as he loses his suit jacket and tosses it aside. It's suddenly a little warm in the cabin.

"What's unfair, honey?" Lizzy plays the innocent card when she stands up and looks over at him, giving him the front view of what little she's wearing. She poses with one hand on her hip and canister in the other.

"You know what, you fucking jezebel," Dean sneers at her.

"Not my fault I feel comfortable without that stifling dress on right now." She shrugs and keeps going, moving to the next window and lining it with her ass sticking out right in his direction.

"I married the she-devil," Dean sighs, forcing himself to finish his work before absolutely destroying her.

Lizzy sighs, knowing she isn't going to win and get what she wants. It is her safety on the line so she should have known better. It's the only thing that can ever trump sex for him. Making her way around the entire cabin, Lizzy finally lines the last window in the back corner.

"Fucking finally!" Lizzy cheers as she turns around to make her way back to the supplies.

"You got every entrance?" Dean questions as he finishes the last of the angel-proof sigils on the wall by the front door.

"Every one," she promises, dropping the salt canister by the bed.

"Shotguns?"

"I figure one by the back door and one under the bed," she answers, pulling out the guns from the ever-present weapons duffel and walking to place them as she just suggested.

"Holy water by the bed too," Dean adds, grabbing some knives and hiding them around the small house.

"Done and done," she assures him. Propping the salt round loaded shotgun by the back door, she turns around and smiles. "Baby?"

"Yeah?" Dean asks her, glancing over to her as he puts his favorite, ivory handled Colt in a drawer by the front door.

"Please… I want you so bad," she says to him, walking slowly toward him. "This is good enough for a little bit. Will you please relax enough to let me have what I want?"

"Depends," Dean answers seriously as he can while he starts unbuttoning his crisp white shirt. "What do you want?"

Lizzy smirks as she makes her way to the bed. "I want you."

"You want me what?" Dean asks, shirt falling down his shoulders and dropping to the floor.

"I want you in that bed," Lizzy answers, hands reaching behind herself to unclasp her bar midstride.

"And?" he reaches to open his belt as he meets her at the foot of the bed, standing face to face and watching as she lets her bra land on the floor at his feet.

"And…" she presses up on her toes to bring her lips just a breath from his. "I want you to fuck me stupid for three days straight." She kisses him deeply, sighing with how happy she is to finally be able to feel him.

"Done!" Dean shouts happily and picks her up in a flash, tossing her onto the bed as she giggles. He drops his pants to the floor and immediately crawls over her. He begins kissing her neck as she squirms under him with giddy happiness.

"I love you," she laughs out before cupping his face and bringing it in to her own, kissing him again with a smile on her lips the whole time.

"Love you too, ball and chain."

"You're an ass," Lizzy name calls between kisses.

"And I  _want_  your ass," Dean tells her half-seriously.

"As of today this ass all yours, Hot Shot," Lizzy informs him as he moves lower down her body. "I share custody of it with you."

"Thank God," Dean roughly growls, taking the garter around her upper leg between his teeth and dragging it downward.

"Holy crap, I'm really happy," she smiles while watching him. Sitting back on his heels Dean lifts her leg, still sliding the fabric over her skin with his pearly whites, and takes the garter all the way off. "I'm actually, seriously happy."

“Who knew that was even possible anymore,” Dean remarks with a bright grin, sling-shotting the stretchy lace across the room like a rubber band. 

“I honestly didn’t,” Lizzy says seriously as she sits up to look Dean in the eye where he kneels.  “I’m so fucking happy to be with you.”  She cups his face with total adoration for the man she’s now bound to.  “And, fuck… I’m so proud to able to say I’m your… what the fuck, I’m your wife, Dean!”

“I know,” he smiles wide with what she says.  He loves the sound of that more than he’d ever thought he would.  A few years ago the word wife was horrifying to the core to him.  Now… now it’s fucking perfect. 

“Baby, I get to say I’m a Winchester for real.”  It hits her all at once.  They actually did it.  They found a way to make it all work, to completely commit themselves to one another.  “Of all the fucking women in this world… you want me.  That’s so… crazy to think.”

“Oh no,” Dean grins through his worry, looking her over while nearly naked and clearly about to cry with joy.  “Please don’t do that.”  Lizzy laughs a little and it causes her tears to crest and fall as she drops her hands into her lap while looking up at him.  “Damn, L.  I can’t have sex with you if you’re crying.”

“But it’s a happy cry this time!” she giggles some more while the tears still fall.

“Doesn’t matter!” Dean huffs a laugh of his own as he holds her face, his thumbs wiping the wet trails away. 

“I just… I can’t remember being this happy ever before.  It’s been so long,” she tells him honestly.  “We got married.”

“Yeah, we did.”  Dean smiles wide, the feeling of it almost unfamiliar on his face.  Damn it does feel good to be happy.

Lizzy just grins right back as her emotional moment passes.  As she starts to calm back down she realizes how badly she probably ruined the moment.  “Damn it.  Sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry,” Dean immediately tells her, pulling her into a kiss. 

“I didn’t kill it for you?” she questions up to him as he peers down at her with a contented look, something she just barely remembers seeing a couple years back when they first met and life was a whole hell of a lot easier.

“Nah,” he assures, kissing her forehead and leaning forward, pushing her onto her back again as he crawls over her.  “You’re practically butt naked.  There isn’t much that can kill that for me.”

Lizzy circles her arms around his neck and pulls him closer, pressing her lips to his and getting them right back to where they had been before her feelings for him overcame her. 

Suddenly back to where they should have been in the first place, Lizzy pulls Dean as close to her as she can get him.  Body pressed together, Lizzy sighs.

“Love you,” she starts, grasping the waist of his boxerbriefs.  “So much.”

Dean, corners of his mouth still turned up as he kicks out of the last of his clothing. 

“Love you too, baby,” he says to her, reaching for the tiny, overly frilly for the occasion thong she has on.  He quickly pulls them down her long legs and tosses them aside. 

“Oh my God, I need you so bad,” she says exasperatedly as she grabs him hard and brings him into her, positioning him at her entrance. 

Following her lead, Dean presses into her and gets that wonderful moan of gratitude just like he does every time from her.  “Oh, yeah.  Now that we’re married you have to let me do this every day.  It’s you legal obligation.”

“I’m surprisingly ok with that,” Lizzy jests, pulling him down to kiss her again and begin their perfect, all be it short, time away.

* * *

“Oh fuck!” Lizzy pants out, her face turned and cheek pressed into the rug under her as she looks back at Dean.  Her knees are bent under her with her ass up in the air and he’s grabbing onto her hips, kneeling and thrusting into her hard from behind.  “Oh God, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Reaching behind herself to press a hand to his stomach, Lizzy groans when she feels his tightened muscles working hard to push her over the edge.  She watches the dancing light of the fireplace play across the bare skin of his body as he works.  This is the best God damned vacation of her life.

“L, shit,” Dean lets out, watching her get closer and closer.

“Harder,” Lizzy calls up to him.  “Fuck me harder, Dean.  Oh yes.”

The loud cry out of approval he gets from her once he plants a foot on the rug and does as she asks, his hips snapping into her with even more force, makes him lose himself a little more.  Doesn’t matter how many times they’ve done this already over the past couple days or how many more times they will.  Every time is better than the last, better than he remembers it ever being. 

One more long, drawn out moan from her, her face now turned down and buried in the fur beneath them, and she succumbs to him.

“Yes!  Dean, yes!  Fuck!” her muffled voice shouts as she claws at his abs with her intense moment.

“Oh shit, oh my God,” Dean mutters as he can feel her contracting around him, making it impossible to keep going.  “Uh, Lizzy, fuck.”

For the ninth time (or is it tenth…) in the short time they’ve been on their little honeymoon, Dean loses all control.  He lets go, mumbling her name in his exhausted voice as he does.

“Oh, wow,” Lizzy quietly slurs out once they’ve started to come back down and she melts into the fluffy rug underneath her, stomach down and legs now turned to jello with exertion.

“What you said,” Dean huffs out while trying to catch his breath.  He collapses at her side, needing a moment to recuperate.  They’ve been at this for two days nearly nonstop and it’s starting to show.  Sore muscles and tired eyes, they lay together unmoving, enjoying their moment of complete satisfaction.

“Holy fucking shit, I love you,” Lizzy laughs out tiredly.

“Love you too,” Dean says right back, a hand lifting and landing softly on her bare back just for the connection.

“I’m never getting up.  I can’t,” Lizzy claims as she looks over to him next to her.  “I’m gonna stay here until I die.”

"Doubt that Yogi would mind much," Dean quips while reaching above himself with his free arm to pet the bearskin rug on its massive head as they stretch out on it. "This is probably the most action he's seen in years."

"Not sure if that makes him lucky or not," Lizzy laughs quietly.

"He's not complaining," he assures as he runs a hand up and down her naked form, soothing her tired body. "I bet he loves it."

"Well I love it, I know that."

"Drink?"

"Yes!" she answers exaggeratedly.

Dean grunts as he slowly stands up. After taking his time, his own taxed muscles protesting as he does, he starts for the kitchen area. "I think we need a serious fuck-break for at least the rest of tonight."

"Um, I'm sorry," Lizzy smiles wide as she props herself up on her elbows to watch him walking to the kitchen area in the very large, one room cabin. "I couldn't have possibly heard you right. Did you just say you needed a break from having sex?"

"I'm hurting pretty bad over here," Dean tells her, his back aching and bum knee acting up big time as he reaches for two glasses in a cupboard. He then pours two healthy amounts of whiskey into them. "I mean, I'll go another round happily if that's what you want, but you're doing all the work." He drops two ice cube into hers and keeps his neat.

"Tempting," Lizzy caustically returns, her eyes roaming his body as he makes his way back towards the rug and reaches his free hand out to her.

"Come on."

"I told you I'm not getting up," Lizzy reminds him, seriously hating the idea of standing or moving at all. "It's fluffy here and the fire is warm."

"The bed will leave in you better shape tomorrow than the floor and you know it. Off of BooBoo, let's go."

"It's Yogi," she reminds him with a grumble and takes his hand. She lets him help her up, her entire being weak and spent. She stands and stretches a bit before walking over to the bed, climbing in and lying back with a delightful 'ahh'.

"God, it's like heaven in here," she tells him while snuggling into the heavy, warm comforter and soft flannel sheets.

"Isn't that what I've been saying to  _you_  all day?" Dean says, one eyebrow playfully raised in her direction.

"You get funnier every day, Hot Shot." Lizzy builds up some pillows behind her head enough to be able to see the TV while sitting back against them. "Can you grab the remote?"

Dean reaches for the remote control off the top of the big screen TV and makes his way to bed, drinks in hand. He hands her one drink before pulling back the covers and slipping in beside Lizzy. He feels his tired body melt into the supremely comfortable mattress.

"Told you," Lizzy jests as Dean closes his eyes momentarily in ultimate comfort. He then sits up against some pillows, copying Lizzy's position, and slides next to her. He pulls her in with his glass-free arm around her shoulders and she settles in, leaning onto him.

"Gonna have to thank Rufus for this one," Dean comments while turning on the TV.

"I know!" Lizzy happily comments, looking around the decent sized log cabin.

"Oh, we have a winner," Dean announces when he finds  _Return of the Living Dead_  playing on one of the premium channels. They both watch the classic zombie flick for a few minutes, sipping their drinks and just being.

"Ok, screw the floor, I'm never leaving this fucking awesome bed," Lizzy decides as she holds her glass out to cheers Dean's. "Or this cabin. This place is amazing."

"You have no idea how badly I want that to happen," he returns, clinking drink ware and each sipping down some whiskey.

"I'm exhausted."

"I know you are," he tells her, his arm nudging her head against his shoulder to rest more comfortably. She leans on him harder and smiles to herself.

"How do you want to spend the last one of the best three days of our lives tomorrow?"

"First, I don't want to talk about it being our last day," Dean says with a downtrodden tone. They got lucky so far that Sam hasn't called them back into active Apocalyptic duty as it is. Three days was all they allowed themselves even though it wasn't enough, but no matter how long the time off with Lizzy it would never be enough.

"I agree," Lizzy responds, sadness in her tone.

"Well," Dean starts, pulling his arm tighter around her. "If I had my way, I'd probably say tomorrow morning I should wake up to breakfast being cooked by my hot wife wearing something… small."

"Like what?" Lizzy grins wide up to him.

"Like… ooh, that black lacey, kinda see-through bra and underwear set you wear when you're looking to get laid. Or maybe just the apron that's hanging by the oven and nothing else..."

"I'm getting the picture," Lizzy nods and returns her gaze to the TV. "Then what?"

"Then a nice, long, hot shower."

"You know, Rufus told me that there's a hot tub on the back deck area."

"What!?" Dean loudly questions her. "When were you going to tell me that!?"

"I forgot until right now, when you mentioned hot water," Lizzy explains herself. "In case you forgot, I've been a bit preoccupied so far."

"Yeah you have," he smirks proudly.

"Ok, so breakfast and then hot tub," Lizzy grins to herself with the lovely thought. "Damn, that's gonna feel nice after the past two days."

"Maybe it'll loosen me up enough for day of fucking. Wouldn't mind ending this thing with a bang, right?"

"Since God knows when the next time will be that we'll get to fuck each other stupid without Sam around, neither would I."

"If there is a next time," Dean adds quickly while taking a sip of whiskey, the heavy meaning of what he says hitting both much harder than he intended.

"Then we better make sure this one counts." Lizzy cranes her neck up and kisses him. She turns her body towards him until she's curled up into his side, her lips never leaving his.

"You're seriously not starting up with me again are you?" Dean has to ask with sheer disbelief when her glassless hand creeps across his stomach.

"No," Lizzy answers, kissing him one more time. "I can barely move as it is. And I'm sure tomorrow morning is gonna feel even worse."

"Thank God for hot tubs."

"Damn straight," Lizzy smiles to him. "Gotta make sure I get my fair share of that Michael Sword before we ditch, you know?"

"Fuck Michael," Dean complains. "He doesn't own everything of mine."

"Ok, then I'm gonna need a lot of attention from that  _Dean_  Sword of yours tomorrow… better?"

"Way fucking better," he assures her as they settle in to watch the movie.

* * *

Inhaling deeply as he comes to, Dean knows the smell that woke him up. He  _loves_  that smell.

Turning over in the huge, extremely comfortable bed, Dean rests on his back and looks across the cabin. Standing in front of the stove is his woman doing exactly as he suggested she do yesterday night. Smiling to himself, he silently lets her work, not wanting to end the quiet, perfect moment. While facing away from him, it's clear that she's wearing only an apron as her entire backside is bare except for the tie around her waist. He can hear the sizzling of bacon as she moves over the pans on the old, white, antique looking stove.

Grabbing his phone stealthfully off the nightstand, hoping not to make her notice he's up quite yet, he uses it to zoom in on her and take a picture. This was a moment he wanted to remember and remember well. She's got to be hurting, his own sore muscles already letting him know this as fact, yet she still made sure she got up before he did, started up breakfast as he asked her to, and let him rest. Sometimes she's so fucking awesome it's hard to believe she's even real.

"Coffee?" she asks over to him without turning around.

"How'd you know I was up?"

"The camera function on your phone comes complete with fake shutter sounds," she turns and looks at him over her shoulder with a grin. "I'm assuming you're not sending that picture to anyone?"

"Hell no. This one's just for me," Dean slickly tells her. "And yes, coffee would be awesome."

She walks to the coffee maker and pours him a cup before grabbing the Irish whiskey bottle and dosing it up a bit before making her way across the room to him.

"Here you go," she says, handing the mug over while sitting on the edge of the bed next to him as he sits up.

"Why thank you," he says back and takes a sip while looking her over, the top of the apron barely covering her breasts. "I like this look on you."

"Shocking," Lizzy grins while leaning in and kissing him. "I figured you'd like it." She gets up and turns to head back to the breakfast still cooking on the stove.

"I do," Dean answers, reaching out to slap her bare ass quickly before she walks away. "A lot."

"Breakfast is almost ready. Hope you're hungry."

"Considering we fucked and drank our dinner last night, yeah, I'm starving."

"Shit, you're right," Lizzy nods as she thinks about it, spatula back in hand. "We haven't eaten in, like, a really long time. Good thing I made enough food for a small army then."

"Bring it on, woman," Dean happily cheers as he reaches for the remote and turns on the TV to occupy his time while she finishes up their meal. Daytime TV sucks, but he manages to find something tolerable that they'd both enjoy; Sports Center.

"All set," Lizzy calls over as she turns with a wooden tray in her hands. She walks over to the bed and drops it over his lap before walking around to the other side of the bed and climbs on. "Eggs sunny side up, bacon, sausage, toast. Everything Dean Winchester dreams about."

"Absolutely," he answers, looking over the two packed plates in front of them as she crawls over the comforter to sit Indian style by his side so she can share the space on the tray. Before picking up a fork, he leans over and pulls her in by the back of her head. "Thank you." He kisses her.

"Mm, you're very welcome," she returns. "Now eat up. The hot tub should be hot enough really soon."

"Yes," he smiles out excitedly. "How the hell did I end up with such a cool freakin' chick?"

"Angels," Lizzy grins out, knowing she's giving a definitive answer to an open-ended question.

"Then they're about to get one hell of a gift bask…"

Mid-sentence they hear something outside the front cabin door. It's a loud couple thumps, one big thud, and then silence. After freezing immediately with the sound, Lizzy presses a finger to her lips to keep Dean quiet and stands up from the bed. She reaches for the salt round packed shotgun under the bed and makes her way slowly to the front door as Dean gets up to find his boxer briefs.

Once at the door, she presses her ear to the thick wood and listens. Nothing. Dead silence. She waits until Dean is at her side, flask of holy water and handgun at the ready. She counts to three without using her voice and swiftly turns the knob and yanks the door open.

Guns aimed, they're greeted with the same calm scene they first saw when they pulled up to the cabin.

"What the hell?" Lizzy asks quietly.

"I have no idea,' Dean agrees. "That sounded like a body…"

"Hitting the stairs, I know." Lizzy sighs as she watches Dean slowly stalk down the set of five steps in front of the door. He scans the wooded area, coming up with no signs of anything ever having been there. He lowers his gun and turns back to her.

"Guess it was animal."

"Weird sounding animal," Lizzy quips. "Come back in, food's getting cold, much like my bare ass is."

"Still looks good to me," Dean says charging up the stairs and into her as he pushes her back inside. She giggles as the doorway closes.

From behind the tree line, Castiel watches the two head back inside as he holds a hand over the mouth of the demon that just tried to attack the unsuspecting hunters.

Once the door is closed, the angel angrily looks over at the demon in his grip.

"How many others know that they're here?" he asks the demon, pulling his hand away so it can talk. The demon immediately tries to smoke out but Castiel was ready for that. Pushing the cloud right back down into the meatsuit it was riding with his bare hand, Castiel asks again. "How many!?"

"None," the frightened demon answers. "Just me. Followed them from a rest stop just over the South Dakota boarder. Saw 'em by chance."

"Good," Castiel responds and places the palm of his hand on the demon's head, white light shooting forth from its eyes and mouth. Soon, the lifeless body drops from his grip onto the grass forest ground at Castiel's feet.

The angel stays quietly out of sight of the cabin and continues to keep watch. They have earned this little bit of happiness. The road ahead is paved with awful sacrifices and hardships they certainly don't deserve. The two people who have taught him more about friendship and what family is supposed to truly mean than any other person or other being ever could should be happy, even if it's just for a fleeting moment.

"You deserve this, my friends," Castiel says to them, knowing full well they have no idea that he's there. He plans to keep it that way. "Be happy."

* * *

"This sucks," Lizzy complains as she drops her bag into the open Impala trunk.

"I know," Dean responds, heading back to grab the last bag in the cabin. "But it's more than I had expected getting at all. Way more."

"Yeah," Lizzy says more to herself than to him as he makes his way through the front door. Leaning against the passenger side door, she looks around and says a soundless goodbye to the solitude around her. She has a horrible feeling deep in her gut that life is about to get loud and hectic and very scary. The honeymoon was over… literally.

Dean comes back out and turns to lock the door of the cabin. Once he turns around he sees her taking a picture of him with her camera function on her phone.

"Like what you see?"

"Generally," she laughs as his feet pound down the short staircase and head in her direction. "Actually I was just trying to capture what a content and happy Dean Winchester looks like."

"Don't get used to this look on me," he warns her as he kisses her on his way to the trunk.

"Fuck," Lizzy laments as she looks back over at the cabin one last time. So that's what it's like to live like normal people. Stay in one place, make your own food, watch TV, not fear for your life… it was just so fucking nice for once.

Dean shuts the trunk and heads for the driver's side of the car. He opens the door and pauses before he gets in. "Say goodbye, L."

"Goodbye, L," Lizzy says up to the cozy abode with a sigh and turns to get into the car. For some reason she suddenly thinks of Castiel and it makes her rapidly search the surrounding area, fully expecting to see him standing somewhere there. She could swear she feels him there. "Cassie?" she whispers.

"You coming?" Dean calls to her from inside the car.

"Yup," Lizzy yells back and looks around one more time. Seeing nothing she gets in, shuts the door behind her, and looks at Dean. "I think Cass is here, or was here."

"Creepy," Dean answers, turning the key in the ignition. "Why?"

"Don't know. Look after us maybe?"

"Doubt it," Dean answers, driving down the dirt pathway that leads to the front office for all the secluded cabins in the area. "He probably would've popped in to say hi at some point or share some horrible news with us…"

"While we were butt ass naked," Lizzy finishes his thought. "Yeah. You're probably right."

They don't see the angel standing in front of the cabin and watching them drive away as they end their short but excellent trip.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to comment. I respond to all, good or bad, in kind.


End file.
